Friends on Fire
by bearhuggemm
Summary: Starts after Bella jumps off the cliff in New Moon. Jacob and Bella find themselves in a flirtatious tango as they realize their feelings for eachother. Plenty of fun with the pack. Both POV.
1. Chapter 1: Getting Home

Jacob POV

I drove Bella home. She didn't look well. I didn't expect any more from her seeing as that she had jumped off a cliff, nearly drown, and learned that our good friend Harry Clearwater had died of a heart attack. I needed to get her into her own house, and her own bed. She nearly collapsed from fatigue when I lifted her from the couch, in my too-small living room. I can't understand why she hadn't slept while she was there. It looked as though she was thinking about something, contemplating an idea very hard in her head. As I lifted her into the truck, I could see her mind working again. Her eyes got tight and the dip between them scrunched up. I wanted to laugh, but the events of today had taken that ability away from me.

As I held her, I couldn't help but feel relief and comfort. She was here in my arms, alive. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the scorching pain I felt, when I heard her scream and leap off the cliff to her doom. I couldn't breathe, thinking that she might not make it out alive. This thought alone is what kept me fighting, and pushing through the black waves, that forced me farther into the swells. I would not let her drown, knowing I was responsible. I had vowed to myself once that I would never let any pain come to her, and I was determined to keep that promise.

I had gotten her to the beach, but she was unconscious and my heart froze. She was unresponsive when I pulled her up into my arms and swam with her to the shore. I didn't know if she had broken anything, if she was paralyzed, or if there was any kind of internal damage. It was Bella after all. Her clumsiness often led to her injuries. I couldn't help the need I felt to scold her. What was she thinking? Jumping into a raging hurricane? Why hadn't she just waited for me?

As I laid her down into the damp sand, her hair sprawled out across her face, I could hear the faint heartbeat beneath her drenched clothes. I kept waiting for her to wake up, and as I waited my own heart seemed to falter. Those were the hardest three minutes of my life, but then she woke up.

The sweet pink returned to her cheeks, and her eyes fluttered open. She was weak and groggy, but I couldn't help feel elation at the sight of my love, Bella, alive. I had taken her back to the house, laid her on the couch, as I sat on the floor by her head. When Billy had come home with the news of Harry, Bella was brought to tears. I was just as upset, but tried to stay strong for my father. Billy suggested that I take her to see Charlie, because he would undoubtedly need her support.

I was brought back to the moment. My arm was across Bella's shoulder; her hair was wet and tangled. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, and she looked more pale than ever. As the truck slowed, and I rounded the corner to her house, she looked up at me. I could see indecision in her eyes, and I wanted, desperately, to know what she was thinking about. If only she knew how much I loved her. I wish she would stop being so modest and realize, that I would do anything for her. No matter what she asked, I would gladly do it if it meant she could be happy. These last months had been great. My best friend had been thrown back into my life, under the worst conditions, but still. She had come to me, broken and weak. I know that she had gradually improved since the first day she came to bring me the bikes, but she hadn't fully recovered. Our adventures together had brought so much perspective, and made me realize how much I wanted her, needed her, and that there was no turning back. Not now.

Bella POV

I stumbled into the house. I hadn't been getting much sleep lately and my cliff-diving stint had not made my fatigue lessen. Jacob had been a real hero today. I know that if he had not jumped into the water to save me, I would not be here right now. While lying on the couch at Jacob's, my mind had wandered to _Romeo and Juliet_. I had thought endlessly about Paris. How his character played such a crucial role in the play, but how Juliet had not given him the time of day. I knew that in an alternate universe, where Romeo had left Juliet, that she would probably end up with Paris. Her parents approved of Paris, he was capable of making her happy, and she could find no reason to refuse. If her prince was gone, could she settle for the alternate? Was I Juliet in this lifetime? My Romeo had left me here, with this gaping hole in my chest. Paris had stepped in, to help put the pieces of my life back together, and I was thankful.

Maybe I was thinking too much into this. It scared me that I compared myself to Juliet. I could never amount to her strength and poise. But the other character, the gallant Romeo did remind me of someone… someone who could not be mentioned easily. I could not bear the thought of his perfect face, or his velvet voice, especially since I had jumped off a cliff to feel their presence around me.

The car ride with Jacob passed faster than I would have liked. I wanted to thank him for all that he had done for me today. I wanted to hug him, to make sure that he was ok after hearing about Harry. I wanted to, no, needed to do these things, but I kept getting distracted. I was thinking about Romeo leaving, Juliet crying, and Paris trying to keep her from falling to pieces. Now I could see how Jacob was my Paris, and that was frightening.

When the truck stopped, I realized that Jacob kept his arm around me, keeping me warm and protected. I could feel the heat radiating from his chest and it kept me whole. When I was this close to him, I didn't hurt quite as badly to think about _him._ I couldn't even bring myself to say his name, even in my head. How pathetic. I wanted to hate him, to curse his name, but I couldn't. I still loved him, and I knew that I would love him forever.

I looked up at Jake who was removing my seat belt and his own. I looked deep into his eyes and he caught my glance. I thought more about Paris. He really did love her didn't he? But he didn't know that she didn't feel the same way. That's what was different about Jacob. He loved me, but he _knew_ that I didn't feel the same way. I had made my feelings about him very clear. I knew it hurt him, but it was the truth. As I looked into his eyes I could see the love that he was radiating from his big brown eyes. I could also see the confusion, as he tried to analyze the expression on my face. I must have looked silly, staring into his eyes while thinking about Paris and his rejection by Juliet.

"Bella?" Jacob whispered, so as not to shock me. I was instantly brought out of my trance, and I looked away from his eyes.

"Yeah, Jake?"

"What are you thinking about? It looks like you are concentrating really hard."

How did he know me so well? He could take one look at me and already know what I was feeling. I really hated how I could never hide my emotions from him, but at the same time it made me feel comforted.

"Its nothing, really. I'm just zoning out I guess. Don't read too much into it." With that, I opened the door and popped out. I hadn't realized how weak I felt until I stood.

I was out of the car now, my feet moving in the direction of the house, without my body registering the movement. Jake slammed the truck door and hopped lightly to catch up with me.

"Hey, Bells! Wait up." He called to me, but I didn't turn around.

"I'll see you later Jake. I need to get some sleep."I responded, my body reaching the porch. I fumbled with my keys, and tried to focus on getting them in the door. My vision was blurring the longer I stood. I know I would collapse as soon as I reached my bed, I was so close.

"Here, let me help you with that." He brushed my hand lightly to take the keys. He swiftly put a triangular silver one into the slot and turned. The door swung open. It was dark inside and I was not about to fumble around for the light switch. I would most likely trip and hurt myself.

"Bells, you look like you are about to fall over. Can you make it up the stairs by yourself?"

"Mmm." I grumbled.

"Ok, here we go."

He swung one arm under my knees and the other behind my back. Then swiftly, he glided up the stairs to my room.

"Jake, this really isn't necessary. I can walk ya know."

"I don't want you falling and breaking your neck. Its a very real possibility, since you are so accident prone and all."

"Shut up! You worry too much."

He just chuckled at me.

He smiled. Before I knew it I was on my bed. Jacob took off my shoes and pulled my comforter over my limp body. I closed my eyes.

"Thanks Jake."

I felt Jacob's warm breath brush across my face as he whispered

"Sleep tight, Bells. I love you." Then he kissed my forehead and left the room.

Jacob POV

I couldn't keep my mind off of Bella. I wanted to be in the house in case she woke up and needed anything. I camped out downstairs in Charlie's worn out recliner chair. I was there for about an hour before I heard the distant sound of Sam calling out to me. I could leave for an hour without anything happening, hopefully. I would go until Sam told me what he needed to, and then I could come back here and be with Bella.

I darted out the back door, pausing before I reached the edge of the forest. I stripped my clothes, leaving them in a pile next to the house. I couldn't waist another pair of perfectly good clothes. As soon as I was naked, I started running, and then I burst, phasing into my wolf form. My paws clipped the ground beneath me as I picked up speed. The smell of the trees and the moss made me feel at home. It wasn't long before I heard Sam's thoughts enter my head.

_Jacob, I'm rounding up the pack. I need to speak to all of you._ His voice was strong and authoritative, but there was sadness behind it.

_What's wrong Sam? Is it the bloodsucker? Has something happened?_ I sounded tenser than I should have. I didn't need to be worried. I knew we could take her.

_No, we haven't picked up her trail since before the- incident with Bella. I just needed to talk about tomorrow. It's going to be a hard day for all of us, and I want to make sure we are all on the same page. _

Then other voices chimed in. Embry and Quil filed in behind me as I entered the clearing and saw Sam there, sitting tall.

_Jake is Bella ok? We heard what happened. _Embry sounded genuinely concerned for her. I let the memories of her looking lifeless on the beach slip through. I could see the faces turn down as they felt the pain and horror that I had experienced.

_Jake, man, I'm so sorry. _Quil sighed

_Me too. _Sam added, _she is lucky you got to her so fast. Without you, I'm not sure what would have happened. _

_Yeah I_ thought. I didn't even want to imagine what could have happened. _So, Sam, what did you need to say?_

_I wanted to confirm the patrol schedule... _Just then Paul and Jared joined us.

_What did we miss? _Jared called as he slowly got to the clearing

_I was saying that Harry's funeral is tomorrow. As you know, that vampire Victoria has been extremely close lately…_

I let out a deep set growl without even thinking, and dug my claws deeper into the soil beneath me.

_Calm down Jake, we'll get her. Now, Leah and Seth are both needed at the service, and I know all of you would like to be there for Sue, and pay your respects to Harry_

We all hung our heads in his memory.

_We can all take shifts, checking the grounds. Jake, I know that this will be hard for you. I know you loved Harry, but you will also want Bella to be protected. Each of you are going to alternate, in one hour shifts. Pairs of you will run the perimeter and keep a look out for the scent, while the rest will be with Sue, Leah, and Seth at the church. _

_How far away was her scent when we lost her? _Paul inquired

_20 miles, but she keeps running circles in the area, trying to confuse us. _Jared answered.

_Embry and I can scout out the scent first. We'll stay around Bella's and make sure she doesn't come by. Then we can circle the rest of the reservation, maybe checking farther into the forest for new tracks. _Quil suggested his voice sure and strong.

_Yeah, of coarse. We want Bella safe, as much as you do Jake. _Embry thought.

_I don't think anyone cares for Bella as much as Jake does though… not even that leech—_

I kicked Paul in the side before he utter the name I despised more than I hated the bloodsucker himself. It made me sick, just hearing the name, of the asshole that broke Bella. My sweet, darling Bella, that looked so peaceful when she slept. _God I wish I was with her now…_

_Jake! Focus. We need you here with us. You can take the shift after Quil and Embry, I'll join you. Then Paul and Jared can follow directly after. I need you all on task today. Pay attention to everything around you. It's a hard day for all of us, but we need to be strong for the Clearwaters and for Bella._

We all nodded, as his Alpha commands set in.

_Um, guys, I think I have an idea. _Embry squeaked.

_Yes, what is it? _Sam bellowed

_We should have a bonfire, down on First Beach tonight, to celebrate the wonderful life of Harry Clearwater. Everyone is invited. It'll cheer everyone up, and I think that Harry would have wanted to see everyone having a good time._

_That's a terrific idea Embry. Get everyone together, we can meet at 8. Now go home, get some sleep, and I'll see you all at the service tomorrow. _

One by one the voices subsided and the wolves disappeared into the trees. Now Sam and I were the only ones left.

_How are you holding up Jake?_

_Not so well. I think I should go back to Charlie's and check on Bella. _

_You need to get some sleep. You look exhausted and it would be disrespectful for you to fall asleep in the middle of the service. _

_Yeah, I will, I promise. I just need to check on Bella first. _

_Alright, go. See you in the morning._

I ran fast back to Charlie's house which was close by. I phased quickly and found my clothes by the back door. I slipped them on and walked into the house. It was quiet, but Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. He was probably asleep.

I crept up to Bella's room and quietly opened the door. She was sound asleep. She was face down in the pillow, her hair was sprawled across the sheets and her blankets were on the floor. I reached down for them and tucked her back in. I then settled down in her big chair, and watched her sleep. I would have watched longer, but my eyes pulled me into a deep sleep. My dreams were blissful and filled with images of Bella warm in my arms. I never thought that I could ever feel this way about a girl. I had even been led to use adjectives like blissful and jaunty. I felt like a lovesick Romeo, wooing my woman, trying to bring her close to me. Although all my efforts had not successfully took, I knew that one day she would wake up and realize that she has loved me all along, and when this happened, I would officially be the happiest man on Earth.

I left early in the morning to go home and get some real sleep. I couldn't focus on my REM, when I could just open my eyes and revel in Bella's beauty. She really did look amazing when she slept. Even when her hair was in knots, and she slept in funny twisted positions, she always looked angelic.

I wanted to surprise her. I knew she couldn't be feeling good from the recent events. She would have to go back to school on Monday. I knew how much she disliked school. It must be hard for her to go back to a place that was so filled with memories of that leech. On top of that, she had told me about her friends. She was convinced that they had turned on her. Silly Bella. Always thinking that the world is out to get her. If she had learned anything in the time she spends with me, it would be that she can't let people intimidate her. She is stronger than that.

It was decided. I would go to school and visit her. I would see what these friends of hers were up to and I could see her at the same time. I had never seen school Bella, only outside of school Bella. It would be interesting to see what she was like.


	2. Chapter 2: Surprise Guest

Bella POV

It was one week before the big four-day weekend everyone had been planning for. At lunch that day, Angela came up to me with a kind smile on her face, as always, and we walked to our table.

"So, Bella, we want to invite you to come to the lake with us. We are going to head up on Thursday afternoon and spend the long weekend there. It should be lots of fun. Are you up for it?"

I started to say something, but then she interrupted me

"Its ok if you don't want to, I mean I understand and all… its just that you never spend any time with us anymore, and I have really missed you." Then she leaned over to me and hugged me. The rest of the table gave her an uneasy look, as if I was an unstable mental patient, who at any moment might have a mental breakdown. I didn't blame them, until recently, I had been a ghost in these hallways.

"Actually, Angela, I would love to come." I tried to sound enthusiastic as possible, and gave her a smile.

"Really Bell? That's great. I am so excited!" She squealed a little bit.

"But, I don't want to impose or anything, I mean you guys probably weren't planning on me tagging along…" I looked straight at Jessica, who was really unnerving me with her death glares and nasty comments lately. Angela gave Jessica a 'be nice!' glare to Jessica and then she said

"No, its totally cool. We've all missed you Bella." She tried to smile, but she didn't fool me. I knew she wasn't excited I was coming.

Mike pulled his seat up next to me and chimed in.

"So Bella, are you coming?"

I nodded and he smiled really big. I knew he would be happy I was coming. Jessica gave me another death glare. She obviously still had a thing for Mike. Eric and Tyler were moderately pleased that I was coming and they smiled at me to show their support. I think they were just happy that I wasn't completely lifeless anymore.

For the rest of the day Angela smiled at me. She was glad that I had accepted her offer to do something. Before, I would just tell her I was busy, when I would actually sit in my room and cry. It had been so long, since I had hung out with my Forks friends. And girls too. I had gotten so used to being with the pack in La Push, and their lack of femininity. Emily was a close to a girl friend I had, but now I had Angela back.

In the last period of the day, Angela left her normal science partner to come and sit by me. She wanted to catch up on all the things that she had missed when I was, um… distant. I told her all about my friends in La Push, and how much like family they were. When I thought of La Push, I was instantly reminded of Jacob, and how we had ended things last time we were together.

I gladly listened, when Angela directed my distracted mind to more girly and happy things. She talked about how great things were going with Ben, and how he had gotten permission from his parents to go on the trip, which she was psyched about. She talked about new clothes that she bought, and about prom, but she didn't doddle there. After all, it was a touchy subject for me. When my mind wandered back to Jacob, she noticed. She could no doubt see the confusion on my face.

"Bella? What's wrong? You have been zoning out, like, the entire period? What's on your mind?"

"Its nothing really, just boy trouble…" I couldn't think of a better way to describe it. I thought about not telling her anything, but then I remembered how good of a listener she was. I liked how she noticed my distress and honestly cared for my feelings. I knew that talking to her would help.

When I said boy trouble, she looked a little brighter in the face.

"It's about time you moved on…wait, I didn't mean it like that. I know you and Edward were… you know. I just meant that, its good to see you thinking about someone else for a change." She looked apologetic as she tried to explain her thoughts.

"Ang, its ok really. I know what you mean, and I am glad too. I am actually pretty happy. I've just been going through a rough patch with my best friend Jacob."  
"Oh, is he the one you keep mentioning? The one from La Push?"

"Yeah, I think you met him once, last year when we went to first beach."

"Oh my gosh! Yes. I remember him. He was cute! Good for you Bella!"

"Thanks, I guess. Um, well he and I are really close, and lately I've been feeling that he wants to be closer than that…"

"You mean, he wants to be your boyfriend?" It was so easy to talk to her; she knew exactly what I meant.

"Yes, I think so. I try not to give him the wrong idea, but I guess I don't even know if he really does want that or not. You know?"

"Like, you're not sure about how he feels about you?"

"Yeah. I am too embarrassed to ask. I don't it to get awkward, if he doesn't feel that way."

"Good point. You might want to casually ask him, or maybe talk to his friends, but that might be even more awkward."

The bell rang, commencing the school day. Angela and I got up from our table and walked to the door.

"I wish there was an obvious way to tell." I sighed

"Does he show interest in other girls, when you are around?" Angela questioned. She looked like she was concentrating on something in the distance.

"I'm not sure, we haven't been in an environment for me to find out…" I peered at her face; a light bulb went off inn her head. I turned to face the direction her eyes went, and was confused.

"Um, Bella? I think you are about to find out."

I looked harder towards the parking lot, to find a group of students pausing by an enormous, russet skinned boy, kneeling by his big, black motorcycle. He was inspecting his tires. He was wearing full-length jeans, that had tears and grease stains, with a wrinkled, white t-shirt. He looked muscular and striking, and the girls in the crowd definitely noticed.

_Crap! It was Jacob._

Jessica and Lauren walked right passed us, nearly bumping into me.

"Oh my god! Look at him Jess. He is so sexy!"

"I know, we should go talk to him."  
Jessica and Lauren quickly walked over to Jacob and greeted him. He got up from his knee and smiled at them. They seemed especially flirty. I know that they lived off of the attention. They were content in the moment, because my Jacob was giving them that attention.

I could only watch from a distance, as these two girls annoyed me more than anything, flirted with my best friend; my very muscular, handsome, amazing best friend. _Was I jealous? No way. I didn't think of him like that._

Jessica seemed to touch his arm every time he made her laugh. He was good at making people laugh. By now, he was leaning against his bike, and Lauren was practically drooling on him. I didn't blame her. He did look really hot. Something about the way he held himself, so confidently, just radiated outwards and caused girls to sigh.

Angela nudged me in the arm

"Hey, isn't that Jacob?"  
"Yup." That was all I could say to that.

I didn't even know if I wanted to talk to him. I kindly asked Angela if we could just sneak out to my car and head home, and she agreed.

We began to make our way around the crowd, which was getting larger by the minute. Apparently, a Quileute kid with a motorcycle was big news. The girls were positively eating it up. I heard little comments like 'Wow, you ride a motorcycle!' and 'How fast do you go?' 'Can you take me for a ride?' which sounded rather sexual to me, and probably was. I couldn't help but snort at their behavior. I had never seen girls act this way over Jacob. Sure, he was good looking, but he wasn't a god. We were almost into the parking lot, on our way to my car, when I heard

"Bella!"

I turned around slowly to face him. His smiled suddenly widened, and I couldn't help but smile too. We walked towards each other and met in the middle.

"I was looking for you. I was in the neighborhood, and I figured I would swing by and see if you wanted to hang out later." I knew he was not in the area, why would he be? He had planned this trip on purpose to make me feel bad, that he rode all the way here, so that I couldn't refuse his offer.

Even though he was devious, he was sweet and sounded hopeful. I walked over to him, not noticing the nasty glares I got from Jessica, Lauren, and numerous others. Before I could answer Jessica was right next to me.

"I didn't know you two knew each other. Jake and I were just talking." She tried to be flirtatious and hang on to his arm.

"That's cool." I tried not to sound like it bugged me, but it had.

"So what do you say Bells?" He asked once more, still attached to Jessica. She stared me down before I answered.

"Well, I promised Angela I would drive her home." He looked disappointed and Jessica looked pleased with herself. "But, I can head over after, if you want." Her smile dropped, and she let go of his arm. Now Jake looked happy.

"Really? You don't have to if you don't want. I can find other things to do."

"I want to, really. Let me just drop Angela off, and I'll head over."

"Great. But if you don't show up in an hour, I'm going to come looking for you." He smirked that cute little grin.

"Ok." I laughed, realizing that I sounded annoyed.

He turned away from me and mounted his bike. I heard little sighs from the girls behind me.

"Ladies," He turned to make eye contact with Jessica and Lauren who were practically undressing him with their eyes. "It was very nice to meet both of you. Hopefully we will see each other again"

"Oh, I'll make sure of it." Jessica added. She poked her chest out a little more as he shot her one more glance.

He kicked the motorcycle to life and it sprung underneath him. His body shot away from the school on the black bike, in a blur. Everyone was left in a daze. I noticed for the first time that Mike, Eric, and Tyler were standing next to us.

"Was that Jacob Black?" Mike grunted at me.

"Yeah, what's your point?" I grunted back.

"Nothing, he just seems…" Mike searched for the right word, but struggled

"Dangerous" Jessica added in, obviously trying to make Mike pay attention to her.

"Yeah," He tried to ignore her "Bella are you sure he's an ok guy to be hanging out with? I mean, did you see the size of him? He's huge!"

"All of his friends are like that, Mike. It's a La Push thing." I shrugged off his comment. "I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

Angela and I began to walk away when Lauren grabbed my shoulder.

"Do you two hang out in La Push a lot?" She hinted with a slightly devious tone.

"Yeah. Why?" Now I was concerned. What did she want?

"No reason." She huffed once, and flipped her hair as she walked back. Jessica seemed to be glittering with puppy love eyes. They walked off towards their cars and drove off.

That had been an interesting way to end the day. I hadn't expected anything like that to happen, ever. Angela and I walked to my truck and I drove her home.

"So that was the infamous Jacob. Wow. He is even more stunning in person." She stared at me shaking her head. "No wonder Jessica has a thing for him."

"You noticed that too? I thought she was going to start drooling."

"You aren't jealous, are you Bella?"  
"What? No. Jake and I are just friends."

"I don't think it's the same for him." She mumbled. I couldn't really understand what she meant by that.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ok, so you were saying how you weren't sure if he liked you as more than a friend right?"  
"Yeah…"

"Bella, you probably couldn't see the way he looked at you, but I could. His whole face brightened up when he saw you coming." She glowed.

"But what about Jessica? She was all over him."  
"So what? He wasn't paying attention to her, he was only looking at you."

I smiled at first, and then I stopped. This is what I had feared. I didn't want Jacob like that. He had been my friend for such a long time, and now he wanted to be more. I couldn't be more. Sure, he had helped me through some of the hardest times, but I couldn't patch the whole left in my heart. It was too much to ask for, so soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Show Off!

Bella POV

Angela and I didn't speak much as I drove her home. I was mostly thinking about the last thing she had said to me _'He wasn't paying attention to her, he was only looking at you' _.

I dropped her off, she waved and told me not to stress out too much. She had turned out to be a much better friend than I would have thought. I knew I was expected at Jake's house, so much to my displeasure, I drove down there.

I was there within thirty minutes, and I turned the engine off as I rolled to a stop. I'm sure my loud and shaky car engine, had alerted Jake and Billy of my arrival, but I needed a moment to myself. I sat there, in my car, waiting for something. I wasn't sure what it was, but it would come to me. Why had it bugged me so much when Jessica had her arm wrapped around Jake's? Why did I want to come over here when I felt like this? Did Angela's opinion of Jake really bother me as much as it seemed?

I shrugged. There was too much for my brain to process. I slumped out of the car and headed towards the door. Billy was there when I opened it. I hadn't even thought to knock; it was probably rude, but it felt as though I was entering my own home. I had grown to be so comfortable there.

"Hey Bella. Jake had to step out for a minute, but he should be back soon."

"Oh, thanks Billy" I shuffled towards the couch, and plopped myself down. I flipped on the TV and searched for a decent show to watch.

"Bella, I have to go meet up with Sue Clearwater. Will you be ok here by yourself?" He asked as he wheeled himself out of the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll be just fine." He just nodded and went out the door.

I was alone for around ten minutes, when I heard someone approach the door, and slowly open it. It was Embry.

"Oh, hey Bella! What are you doing here?" He almost sounded happy to see me. I had always liked Embry the best of all the boys. He seemed to include me whenever I felt left out of pack business.

"I was waiting for Jake. He said he wanted to hang out, but I guess he wont be back for a while." I'm sure I sounded disappointed. I looked around the room, slightly uncomfortable, and then asked "Are you waiting for Jake too?"

"Yeah, but I suppose he doesn't need to be here, for me to raid his fridge." I laughed and he just smiled at me. Embry walked into the kitchen and started shuffling through the cabinets. I got up to join him, I was a little hungry now that I thought about it. "You want a soda or something?" I nodded and he handed me one.

"Hey, Embry, can I ask you something?" I asked very quietly.

"Yeah, shoot."

"Um, well today Jake showed up at my school… and um he was… well, actually it was not him, I guess… well they…"  
"Bella! Just spit it out already!" He sounded annoyed but he just laughed some more.

"The girls were all over him, and I just…I don't know,"

"You want to know if he was interested?"

"I guess. Yeah, I do. It just annoyed me, and I know if I ask Jake it will just be awkward."

"I know. Jake does get a lot of offers from girls. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't attract a lot of attention. He didn't take the bike, did he?"

I nodded and he rolled his eyes.

"Show off! He loves the attention. Werewolves are impeccably good looking." He smiled, implying that he was also talking about himself.

I laughed a little.

"You said it bugged you, like you were mad or what?" He leaned in closer like he was trying to read my expression. "Were you jealous? The girls weren't pretty or anything right?"

"They aren't terrible looking, just have awful personalities. But I don't think I was jealous."

He nodded. "Its normal for you to be protective of Jake, if other girls are interested. I guess you are just watching out for him."

"You're probably right. I guess I just hadn't ever had that happen before. It took me off guard" I put my soda down on the counter and grabbed my bag from the floor. "Thanks for the talk Embry. It was really helpful." I leaned back to him and half hugged him. He looked surprised.

"Anytime Bella. Are you leaving?"

"I need to go do homework and cook for Charlie." I headed for the door, and turned the brass knob.

"You want me to tell Jake you stopped by?"

"Um, its not that important. I'll talk to him later anyways."

"Ok. Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could introduce me to those girls at your school? Its not fair that Jake gets all the attention and the girls too." He whined sort of smirking.

"Hah. Bye Embry." I snorted at his weak attempt at using me as matchmaker.

I saw him shake his head, as I turned and left.

**Jacob POV**

I was running home now. The talk that I had with Sam had taken a lot longer than I thought it would. Bella had promised to come by after school, and now I knew I was going to be late getting home. I hated making her wait for me, and with that I sprinted faster. When I reached the edge of the trees, I phased and put my clothes on. I didn't see Bella's truck outside and I got a little worried. When I got inside, all I found was Embry and Quil sitting at the kitchen counter. No Bella.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here?" I asked, annoyed that they were the ones in the kitchen and not Bella.

"I just came by for food" Quil said, while stuffing his face.

"I came over to hang out with you, but instead I ran into Bella and we talked for a while. Then Quil showed up and here we are" Embry answered with mocking sarcasm.

"Bella? She was here? With you?" I tried not to sound offended, but I did.

"Yeah." Embry shrugged.

"Really?" Quil asked surprised. He didn't think Embry was capable of really talking to girls.

"Yup. She was looking for Jake, and when he didn't show up we talked. And then she left."

"Why did she leave?"

"I don't know. Said something about cooking for Charlie."

"Weird. She said she wanted to hang out." I thought to myself. Why would she come here, then leave before I even got home? Maybe I had taken to long to get home. Maybe Embry had said something to her. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Geez, I feel like I am being interrogated. We actually talked about you and your little motorcycle escapade today at her school." He shot me an annoyed glance. Bella was talking to Embry about me? Embry noticed my mind wandering to Bella.

"We were talking about how you showed up and totally sexed up the other girls with your charm." He laughed a little at that. "Bella seemed a little annoyed with you, but mainly at the girls fawning over you."

"Dude! Bella is jealous!" Quil grunted.

"She is not. She doesn't like me like that."

"Mhmmm. Whatever you say, man." Quil wasn't fooled.

I couldn't help but smile. I wanted so badly for that to be true. I didn't want Bella to feel intimidated by those bland girls at her school, but I wanted her to feel strongly about me. I hadn't intended to gather a crowd by merely showing up at her school. I should have known.

"Earth to Jake?" Embry was waving a hand in front of my face. I had zoned out. "You need to get a new hobby. Obsessing over a girl is not healthy. Especially for you because thanks to the werewolf genes, we all get to hear about it while phased." He made a face.

I didn't want to apologize for thinking about Bella. I wasn't ashamed. I just felt a little bad that they had to put up with it all the time.

"Whatever"

"Wait, so I still want to know what happened with the motorcycle?" Quil squirmed like a schoolgirl.

"Ok, so apparently Jake showed up at Bella's school with the bike and waited for her. Jake, being the show off that he is, gathers a crowd of hotties and then Bella shows up"

"No way…" Quil faked his shock. "That's kind of a shady move if you're trying to get with Bella"

"I didn't know her friends were going to be so clingy" I was now munching on some chips that they had left out. "Anyways, why am I listening to you two gossip? Its ridiculous. I am going to go call Bella" I walked farther into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. It rang three times before Bella answered.

"Hello?" It was silly for her to even have to ask. I was practically the only one who called her anymore. She knew my number by heart.

"Hey, it's me"

"Hey Jake" she sounded less than pleased with me. Had me coming to visit her really bugged her that much? Or was it that I had made her wait with Embry? Was that why she had left before I got there?

"What's wrong Bells?"

"Nothing"

"You're a terrible liar. Why didn't you wait for me? I know I was late, but I got caught up"

"Yeah, sorry. I had to go home and make dinner. We can hang out another time"

"Look, I am really sorry Bells. I didn't mean to embarrass you at school, I just wanted to see you"

"I know Jake. I shouldn't have acted like that. It was sweet of you" She thought I was sweet. "I promise we can hang out soon, ok? I have to go to bed now, but I will talk to you tomorrow"

"Oh, actually, Billy wants me to paint. Do you think you would want to come over and help?" _Please say yes_.

"Sure. Tell Billy I would love to."

"Awesome. I will see you Saturday then, or sooner if you want"

"Ok, I will call you"

"Night Bells"  
"Night Jake" She hung up and I put the phone back on the receiver. Everything was good. Embry and Quil had been listening in on the conversation.

"You guys need to get a life"

"We could say the same about you." Quil mocked. He was probably right, but at the moment I didn't really care.


	4. Chapter 4: Painting

Jacob POV

Billy had asked us to repaint the inside of the house. He had said it was "getting a little dull" and I just laughed at him. He was turning into a woman, I swear. He showed me the paint he wanted to use, that was on the tallest shelf in the garage. My mother had picked it out just before she had died and no one had touched it since. When I realized this, my hesitation towards painting had faded. Maybe having a reminder of my mother, even if it was only from a shade of paint, would be a good thing. Dad seemed really hard on himself lately and his weekly trips to the Clearwater's house, couldn't fill the deep set void where my mother used to be. She had been such a big part of our family's life. She kept us all together and organized. She had the most understanding and gracious heart. Everyone loved her and she showed them the same affection, if not more. It had been so hard for me when she died. I felt like I would never leave my room, but Bella was able to help me through the pain. In many ways, Bella reminded me of my mother. It felt as though a small piece of her stays with Bella. She and I were inseparable when we were younger and my mother would treat Bella like her own flesh and blood. I am sure some of my mothers love had rubbed off on her.

I loved those two women more than anything in the world. I had known this since a very early age. Bella spent her summers cooped up in our small house, since she was three years old. We had grown up together and bonds like that don't falter over time. While my sisters would go off and play, Bella would always stay behind with me. I never understood why, because my sisters were Bella's age and girls, I was a little boy with a big crush on her. Over the years, my childhood crush grew deeper. She got older and more beautiful while I became more aware of my maturing feelings for her. It finally got worse when I hit puberty, and all these extra feelings set in. Quil and Embry teased me _a lot_ about my feelings for Bella and now it was no surprise that they were alive and kickin' once more.

It was hard not to be around her. It felt like everyday I had to see her and so far I had succeeded. We were spending quite a bit of time together. Either I would call her or she would call me, but either way I knew we were going to hang out. I felt a stronger need to protect her ever since she decided to jump off of that ridiculous cliff. Somehow I thought that if I left her alone, that she would do something stupid again and get herself killed. I cringed at the thought. I hated to see her in such pain. Sam's memories of when that leech left were hard enough to muster, when he let them slip. Thinking about how she was when she first came to see me, and then again when I pulled her out of the water. She was pale and cold and all the expression had left her; she had been empty on the inside, both time. I would make it my goal to keep her from that shell of a life.

As long as I was painting my mothers color across the walls, I needed Bella by my side. When I called her she had agreed immediately. I loved how she never said 'no' and she always did what I asked, except when she was being stubborn.

I moved all the furniture to my garage and put the drop cloths onto the hardwood flooring. I set out the paint and put tape around all the corners and fixtures. I wanted to do a good job painting.

I was exhausted. I shuffled to my room stepping over the piles of clothes on my floor. I crashed down onto the small bed and breathed heavy into the pillow. My thoughts went to Bella as I drifted to sleep. Her brown eyes, the blush in her cheeks, her pale rose lips…

--

I woke up to the sound of a big thud followed by "OUCH". I readjusted my senses to listen more carefully, to the now thumping heartbeat of my Bella. I smiled as the sweet scent of her freesia scented skin hit me. _Yes. She was finally here!_ I had been dreaming happy things all night.

I hopped out of bed with purpose. I rushed into the living room to find Bella on the floor and the contents of her bag spilled around her. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her. She looked baffled with her legs crossed and her hands bracing the floor. She had slipped and fallen flat on her ass.

"Nice job, Bells. Of coarse you can find things to fall over, when there is nothing in the house." I chuckled.

"Jacob Black! This is not funny!" She whined. "Now, can you help me up please?"

I stretched out a hand to her. She tried to sit up and fell again. She giggled. I loved her laugh.

This time I just put my arm around her waist and pulled her up against me.

"Good morning" She smiled.

"Morning. Ready to do some painting?" I asked. I watched her look down and blush.

"Um, Jake. I think you should put some clothes on first." She looked away from me as if embarrassed. I looked down at myself. I was only wearing some boxers. It didn't occur to me to put on clothes at night, I would be too hot anyways.

"Oh, sorry. I'll be right back." I scooted across the living room floor to my room. I pulled some ripped jeans and t-shirt off the floor and went back to Bella. "Ok, I am back."

She was standing on the far side of the room looking at the walls. When I came around to face her, she was biting down on her lip in deep concentration. I asked her what she was doing and was startled.

"You scared me. Sorry, I was just zoning out I guess. We're painting the living room right?"

"Yup." I grabbed the paint can and set it in front of her. "Which wall do you want?" She jabbed her finger at the one she was in front of.

She bent down to open the can and dip her paintbrush in. I cant believe I didn't notice what she was wearing earlier. I felt stuck in a slow motion scene of a movie as she raised up to stand next to me. She had me transfixed. The shorts she was wearing exposed way too much skin for me to handle. Her legs were slender and silky, smooth as butter that shone like silk. Her shorts were faded and slashed jeans with an inch and a half inseam. They hung low on her hips and were fraying at her thighs. My heart rate sped up as I looked at her raise up from her knees. I couldn't look away, then she did something impossible, she turned around. I bit my bottom lip as I saw the shorts from the back. Bella's hips curved and rounded into a perfect, tight, and scrumptious backside. The shorts were frayed just below the pockets, exposing as much thigh as possible without going too far.

My body was on fire as thoughts of Bella ran through my mind. Dirty, immature, low life thoughts that I cursed my teenage hormones for. I imagined Bella in my arms…Bella kissing me…Bella in less clothing…breathing my name…_STOP! Get it together Jake. You're starting to lose it. Just back away before something…_

"Um, I am going to go paint the opposite wall…" I rushed to the other side. I needed to be a far away as possible. I took a dozen deep breaths to regulate my breathing and heartbeat. _Focus. Think of other things. The Pack. Running. Trees. Snow. A turkey sandwich. Doing laundry. _I felt better.

"Jake?" Bella peeped.

"Yeah?" I turned slowly to face her. She had the paintbrush in her hand and her head was cocked.

"Do you have music or something?" She gave me an innocent puppy dog look and cocked her head to the other side.

_My God. She didn't even know what she was doing to me. _

I kept my eyes focused on her face, looking at her hair or her beautiful eyes. I tried to avoid her lips, thinking of what they were capable of. _Think chaste thoughts, Jake. Pull yourself together. She doesn't want you like that._

I hopped to my room and yanked the power cord for the stereo out of the wall with excessive force. I trudged out of the room with the heavy, outdated piece of junk. When I got back to the living room, Bella had set up some rollers, that would make the job easier.

"What station?" I called over to her. She swished her way to me and fidgeted with the knobs for the radio. We settled on a hip hop station that she enjoyed. She kept the volume low enough so that we could still talk across the room and be heard.

I tried to look at her as little as possible to steer my mind our of the gutter. Bella talked a lot about her friends at school, saying that she was reconnecting with them after her…hard time. She also told me about the girls who made her feel self conscious, Jessica and Lauren, I think. I would have a serious talk with these girls if they kept harassing Bella.

When she was done explaining her school life she stopped and let me talk for a while. I didn't have anything interesting going on, but she insisted that she wanted to know anyways. I filled her in on the Pack. She always liked hearing about how they were. She hadn't spent much time with them since before Harry died.

I had finished painting my wall and Bella was nearly done painting hers, or should I say, what she could reach. There was a two foot border that was untouched. I looked over to see her paint one solid stroke of the beige up the wall. She startled at the bottom, scrunched over, and raised her body as she moved the roller farther and farther up. I couldn't help but look at her ass as she did this. She worked her body back upright and straight, then onto her tiptoes to try and reach. She was failing adorably. My height would come in handy here.

I walked up behind her and asked if she needed help. She let out a heavy and dramatic sigh. I laughed at her and outstretched my arm. I rolled the few feet she had missed. When I was done I put the roller on the tray. That when I noticed Bella staring at me. When she met eyes with me, she looked away. I grinned a little. I walked over to the last white wall and grabbed Bella's paintbrush. I painted 'Jacob Black' onto the plain walls and handed the brush to her. She giggled and wrote 'Bella Swan' next to my name. Our names looked perfect next to eachother. Why was I the only one who saw this? I could make her laugh and most importantly, I could make her happy.

**Bella POV**

Painting with Jake was fun. I thought it would be boring or at least it would feel like a job, but it didn't. He and I talked through the first two walls. Well, actually he had to help me finish my wall, because I am not tall enough.

I told him all about school and how I was feeling well enough to talk to my friends again. Angela, Ben, Mike, Eric, and Tyler had been very supportive, although skeptical at first. They seemed to welcome me back, as if I had gone away on a vacation. It had been _nothing_ like a vacation, but I had been vacant. When I thought of my friends, I was also reminded of the nasty glares I got from Jessica and Lauren. Jessica used to be my best friend, but she kept her distance ever since that night in Port Angeles. I had tried to apologize but she was swept up into the clutches of Lauren evil grasp. I told Jake that they had been a little hostile, but not to worry. He probably would anyways.

We had painted over the names on the third wall. I had done the bottom and half of the middle. Jacob had taken care of the other half plus the top that I couldn't reach, still.

"Bells, I think we have to paint the hallway too. It shouldn't take that long. This house is very small."  
"Ok, that's no problem." I lifted the half empty paint can with two hands and stumbled into the hallway. "Lets get this done, I'm hungry." I rubbed my tummy for effect. He smiled at me.

We kept bumping into each other in the hallway. It was too cramped for two people to stand side-by-side, especially when one of those people was a 6'7" werewolf with huge muscles. Midway through, we switched sides, so that he could get the top and I could get the bottom. I guess I wasn't watching what I was doing, because when I turned around to get more paint. I had dipped my roller into the tray and gotten too much. It was dripping when I raised back up. When I turned to go back to my wall, Jake and I collided. In my clumsiness, I had dragged the dripping paint roller across his shirt, leaving a thick beige streak.

His mouth dropped. I stepped back and bit my lip.

"Jake, I am SO sorry. It was an accident. I swear!" He chuckled at me then dipped his paintbrush into the can. I looked at him in confusion. He then trailed a matching paint streak down my shirt. He snorted and continued laughing.

"That's what you get." He smirked. I took my brush and plopped it on his nose, leaving a huge beige smear in the middle of his face. I let out a 'hmph' sound.

"It looks good on you." I joked.

He grabbed the other paintbrush and trailed it down my left arm and then my right. He dipped his brush in again and flicked it at my face. I could imagine the little droplets across my face and in my hair. He seemed pleased with himself.

"It's on!" He was so dead.

Jake chased me down the hall and into the living room with a super wet brush. We slashed and rolled paint across the room, covering ourselves from head to toe. He jabbed his brush at me and then ran the opposite direction.

"You're so dead!" I screamed as I ran after him. We were tracking paint footprints across the plastic covered floors as we engaged in an epic paint battle. I saw Jake dip his hands into the can before he came up behind me. He smacked me once on the ass and retreated to the hallway.

"Payback's a bitch!" He yelled back. I chased after him and cornered him in the hallway. He put both of his hands on my face and left two big handprints there. I slyly reached for the nearly empty can and raised it above his head and poured it. What was left in the can dribbled out from his hair and down his shoulders, trailing down his chest and arms. I smiled with accomplishment. He looked straight at me, then leaned his body into mine until I was up against the wall. He gave me an intimidating look.

"Truce?" I shyly squeaked. His smile returned and he laughed at me.

"Yeah sure. Food?" I shook my head enthusiastically. We headed to the kitchen. I sat at the counter while Jake rummaged through the fridge and pulled out all the sandwich fixings. He sprawled them out on the island and looked up at me.

"Do you want PB&J, turkey and swiss, or bologna, mozzarella, and mustard?"

"Eww Jake, that's gross. Ill have a PB&J, please." I smiled couteously. He went to work making my sandwich. I was the better cook in most cases, but he made the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the whole wide world. He put mine on a plate for me and went to work making eight for himself.

"Geez, think you have enough there?" I teased. He shot me an annoyed glance. I waited until he was done making his food until I started nibbling on mine. He grabbed two sodas from the cabinet above him and handed one to me. I sipped it slowly and enjoyed my meal. Jake on the other hand was inhaling his food and chugging the soda.

We heard someone trudge up the steps to the porch outside. I stared at the door while Jake didn't even bother to look up from his food. Quil popped his head from behind the door.

"Jake? Oh, hi Bella!" He continued in through the door. He stopped midway and looked from Jake to me and then down at our paint covered bodies.

"What did I miss? Looks like you two had fun…"

"Shut up, Quil. Bella mearly attacked me with the paint roller." He said it so matter-of-factly. Quil nodded, not surprised. I turned to Jake.

"I did not attack you! It was an accident." I jabbed a finger at him "You were the one who turned it into a fight."

"Sure, sure." He smiled at me then turned back to Quil. "What did you want?"

"Oh, I was coming to tell you about training tonight. We are taking Brady out to test the waters, you know, the usual. You're coming right?" He bellowed as he made it into the kitchen and rummaged through the pile of food.

"Of coarse. I would hate to miss out on all the fun." He was being overly sarcastic. I knew he didn't like being bossed around by Sam.

"And after that, the guys were thinking we could go to the beach and get some beers."

"Mhmm." Jake just mumbled this time.

"Hey, Bella, you wanna come too? You can keep Mr. Grumpy over here, company. He is in such a better mood when you're around." I think I blushed a little bit. I knew that Jake liked having me around, I just didn't think that the Pack had picked up on it. But then again, they did share thoughts. Oh, no. What else do they see from Jake's perspective? I figured I would pass on the public humiliation, but then I also remembered that Mike had invited me to a bonfire tonight with my Forks 'friends'.

"Um, I cant. I promised a few friends I would meet up with them later. Sorry." Quil looked slightly disappointed. I thought back to when Jake had said that Quil had a schoolgirl crush on me when we first met. I giggled again. They both stared at me funny.

"What's so funny?" Jake questioned.

"Nothing." I shook it off. "Can I shower now? I feel disgusting" I looked down at my body again.

"Yeah sure. There are clean towels in the hall closet."

"Thanks." I put my plate in the sink and continued down the hallway. I pulled a navy blue towel from the hall closet and turned into the bathroom. I closed the door then remembered I didn't have spare clothes to change into. I quietly slipped out the door and into Jacob's room. It was really messy with clothes strung across the floors and the window screen propped up against the wall, letting a cold draft in. I opened his top drawer and pulled out a shirt and boxer shorts. Once I had grabbed them I tip toed back to the bathroom. I could hear Jake and Quil talking back in the kitchen. I couldn't make out what they were saying but Jake sounded very serious. I didn't want any sound to let them know of my attempt at eavesdropping.

I was back in the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and stripped my clothes. I felt weird standing in Jacob Black's bathroom completely naked. I looked myself over in the mirror and then turned the knob to hot. I got in and let the hot water stream over me, washing the reminders of the paint fight, off of my body and down the drain. I used Jake's soap, that contributed to his unique and wonderful smell, on my body and then rinsed.

I toweled off and heard the front door slam. I took my clean underwear and bra from my pile of clothes and put those on, then slipped into Jake's boxers and his big t-shirt. I felt comfortable and squeaky-clean.

I came out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam following me.

"Jake, shower is all yours" I called down the hall.

"Thanks" I heard him whisper from behind me. I jumped a little bit. I didn't expect him to be so close to me, I thought he would still be in the kitchen. I guess I was in the shower longer than I thought.

"Oh." I turned to see him right next to me. I was shocked at how quiet he had been on sneaking up on me. Then I looked down to find him wrapped in a towel…only a towel. I blushed.

"You're wearing my clothes" He pointed out.

"Mhmm" I mumbled. _Why am I mumbling? And blushing? _ He leaned into me even more and sniffed my hair behind my ear. I felt tingles.

"You smell good too" He smiled as he whispered into my ear. He pulled away and bit his lip. I felt my knees weaken slightly. He backed up more and went into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him. My knees gave out and I slid down the wall until I was seated on the floor.

_What the hell?!?_


	5. Chapter 5: Dreaming and Reliving

Bella POV

I sat on the floor, with my back to the bathroom door Jake just disappeared into. I had nearly swooned at his words. We had gone from civilized talking and less civilized painting, to him whispering seductively into my ear.

What was going on with me? Ever since last night, my thoughts seem warped and out of the ordinary. I find myself looking over at Jake, constantly. When I had first gotten to the house, embarrassing myself by falling flat on my butt, and saw Jake in boxers, everything came back to me. My vivid dream of Jacob and me in the meadow, him touching my body, the wave of pleasure…it all came back at that moment. I had had this dream only last night, but it seemed like eternities. I had debated not coming over, to spare myself the humiliation of having a dream like_ that_. I, Bella Swan, did not have dreams like that, especially not about my best childhood friend, Jacob Black.

_I am standing at the edge of the trees. The sky is shining the most brilliant blue I have ever seen. I can hear footsteps coming towards me but I am not afraid. There is a russet brown wolf coming through the trees, its eyes piercing mine. I blink and Jacob is standing in front of me. I reach my hand out to him and he smiles my smile. _

"_Come here" I call to him and he does what I ask. He pulls me into the breathtaking hug I love so much. I wrap my arms around him and breathe in the smell of the forest. I enjoy his embrace as he pulls my chin up so that we are looking at each other. He kisses me sweetly and I kiss him back. I feel his shoulders and his shirt is gone from beneath my fingers. His kisses become more passionate. He moves from my lips to my neck, to my collarbone. I feel my body being pressed into the soft grass below me and Jacob is hovering above me showering me with kisses. _

"_You are so beautiful Bella. I love you so much" Jacob smiles at me._

"_Take my pain away, Jacob." I cry._

"_I can make you happy Bella. Just let me have this moment" he strokes my cheek._

"_You can have everything" I whisper into my ear and his mouth finds my shoulder. I can feel him all over my body, pleasure raking through me…_

Then I wake up. I cant explain it. All I know is that it is it was a crazy, one-time occurrence.

But what if the dream meant something? I couldn't help but think it. The dream had felt so real. I had wanted everything that had happened, or at least I had in my dream mind.

Then, today, all I could think about was a shirtless Jacob on top of me. I felt dirty and hormonal, but I couldn't escape it. As soon as I told Jake to put on clothes, I felt myself wondering if that is what I wanted. When we were painting, I had stopped numerous times just to look at him. I watched his muscles flex and stretch as he reached the highest corners for me. It was horrible when we were in the paint fight. Having his body so close to mine and letting the energy flow through us was nice.

_What am I saying? I still have feelings for Edward. _

It was my body. I was a teenager and these types of feelings were normal. This did not mean that I really wanted Jake, I was just reacting to his body. My body was reacting to his. That was all.

With my sudden epiphany, I lifted myself from the floor and went to the living room. Quil was gone and some of the furniture had been moved back. The couch was back in front of the closed TV stand. I plopped down into its deep cushions after turning on the TV. I flipped through channels until I was settled on a cooking show. When it was halfway through, I heard the bathroom door open and the bedroom door close. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and shook it out a little bit. I remembered that I had some lotion in my bag, so I crossed the room and grabbed it from my bag. Jake was already sitting on the couch when I got back.

I looked up into his eyes, his hair dripping and hanging in his face. Those same feelings came back. _Don't think about your dream. Distract yourself. Think logically._ I cleared my throat.

"You got all the paint out."

"Yep. So did you." He flipped through the channels and settled on an action movie. I didn't know what it was about or who the actors were, but he looked pleased with it, so I tried to follow along.

I was leaning up against Jake's warm arm, applying lotion to my legs. I took my time rubbing in the jasmine and chamomile scented lotion in. I smoothed it in front my toes all the way up my leg, beyond the edge of the boxers. I didn't realize right away, but Jake was rubbing my other leg.

His hands were warm and gentle as he massaged light circles into my skin. He slowly worked his hands up from my ankles until they were hitched under my knee. I closed my eyes as he applied pressure to the delicate skin there. I let out a relaxed sigh, mumbled 'that feels good' and he continued. He used his strong and tight hands to caress every inch of my legs, massaging my thighs absorbedly. My body was tingling all over. Every inch of me wanted his hands. They felt so warm and safe. I felt at harmony with Jake.

As his hands got higher up on my thigh, the tingles got worse. When his fingers lightly grazed the fabric of his boxers, the tingle hit me right between the legs. I jerked my eyes open and looked at Jake. He was staring into my eyes, as if looking for an answer. I bit down on my lip, while still looking at him. I wanted to know what he was thinking and why he looked so torn. He let his tongue peep out of his mouth and wet his lips slightly before he gently pressed his lips to mine.

I let out a little gasp as he continued to kiss me. One of his hands cupped my face, while the other was hooked behind my neck pulling me closer to him. His kissing became deeper and I found myself kissing him back. _Oh my god. I am kissing Jake._ His tongue gently pressed to my lips requesting entrance and I let him in. He explored my mouth with his tongue, while I massaged mine against his. I was running low on oxygen but so was Jake. He removed his lips from mine and kissed my jaw line and trailed deeper kisses down my neck. I heard a barely-there moan escape from my lips and was embarrassed at having Jake witness it. When he got to my collarbone and placed a kiss there, I tangled my fingers in his hair and pulled his face back to mine. Our kissing became more fanatical and urgent. The spot between my legs was going crazy and I think Jake sensed it. His arms snaked around my waist and I was being pulled; before I knew it were on the floor. His large and muscular body was hanging over me.

I moved my hands up and down his chest feeling for the muscles underneath. I hooked my fingers under the bottom and pulled it up halfway. Jake sat up for a second and pulled it all the way off. He looked amazing; his muscles tightening as he shifterd. The gentle russet of his skin glowed in the light. He returned above me, but let a little more of him rest against my body. The tingles were attacking my body as I suddenly felt a certain stiffness in Jake's pants. I knew I had done that and I wanted him closer to me. I pulled harder on his hair, bringing him closer to me so I could bite his lip. When I did, he grunted and pulled me so I was on top of him.

There was a thud as the door opened and Embry said

"Shit! Man, I am **so** sorry. I didn't know you were busy." Jake readjusted so that I was now seated on the floor and he was putting his shirt back on. Then it all hit me.

What the hell was I just doing? I was not thinking clearly when I kissed Jake back and then all the other stuff, what the hell was that? My body was reacting to all those good feelings, right? I couldn't have consciously done that. I had gotten way too carried away. I didn't even know I was capable of acting like that, until now that is. I had made a big mistake and I needed to get out.

I heard Jake yelling at Embry for barging in, but I couldn't make out words. He turned to me and I could feel tears in my eyes.

"Jake, I'm sorry, I got carried away. I have to go." I lifted myself off the ground and bolted for the door, grabbing my bag on the way. Embry had left the door wide open, which made for a speedy escape. I dashed to my truck, jumped in and started the engine. I couldn't look back but I was pretty sure Jake had not followed me. I didn't stop until I got home. It was midday and no one was home. I sat in my car for a good 10 minutes before I went inside.

_What did I just do?_


	6. Chapter 6: Messed Up

Jacob POV

I was going to kill Embry.

Not only had he not knocked first, but then he barges in and interrupts us. Us. Bella and me. Together. Kissing.

It was amazing. Everything I had imagined and more. Bella was the most amazing girl I had ever met. She made me so happy.

We had been on the floor, kissing, and very much enjoying ourselves. She had wanted that as much as I had and then Embry shows up. Damn it. She just looked up at me, apologized, and bolted. She was out the door so fast I didn't even have time to react and stop her. She looked like she had come to a realization; a bad one. Everything was going great and now she was gone.

That was not quite how I imagined my first kiss.

"Embry! What the hell!" He looked down at his feet ashamed. He should be.

"Jake, look, I am unbelievably sorry. I didn't think Bella would be here and I really didn't think you guys would be…uh…you know…"

"Don't say it." I gave him a death glare. "Why didn't you just knock?"

"I'm sorry! I thought you were alone." He said exasperated. He scratched his head and then asked "So…how was it?"

"Shut up." I got up and walked to the kitchen counter and sat down. I ran my hands over my face and grunted. "What did you want?"

"I came to get you. We're meeting Sam in an hour. I was going to stop by and see if you wanted to meet up earlier."

I sighed. "I need to talk to Bella. I cant leave things the way I did"

"You can call her when we get back. Give her a while to cool off and think about things" He was right. I should probably let her get home first.

Embry and I left the house and phased. We ran the rest of the way to Sam's house. I kept replaying the whole scene with the paint, then smelling Bella fresh out of the shower, and then kissing her.

_Whoa, dude. No way. _I heard Quil as he phased in.

_Shut up. It just sort of happened and then Bella left. Don't bother him about it, he feels bad enough._ Embry defended me.

_Thanks. _

We continued until Sam's house was in view. He phased when he saw us through the window. He let out a howl and soon Paul, Jared, Brady joined us. Lastly, Seth and Leah phased in.

_You all know that I called you here so that we could run perimeters with Brady. This is only his third phase, so we need to show him the ropes. I am going to have Paul and Jared take him along the trails we picked up a week ago. Embry and Quil can run tactics with him. Jacob and I will run patrol. Seth and Leah, I need you to keep an eye on Bella's house._

I nodded in agreement. We set off on different paths. I envied Seth and Leah for getting to watch Bella's house. I wanted to know what she was thinking and be close to her. I hated the way I ended things today. I had probably messed up big time.

_Don't worry, man. You'll fix it. _Quil thought.

_Why what happened with Bella? _Jared asked.

_Oh, Jake just…_ I growled at him, but I was too late. The image of Bella and me on the floor had already slipped out. Now it was playing through everyone's mind.

_Way to go man! It's about time. _Jared called out

_Who knew Bella had it in her. Maybe she and Cullen did more than you think. It looks like she knew what she was doing. _Paul mocked. I snarled at him even though he was a hundred feet away. I wanted to rip his throat out for even bringing that up. _Good luck. You couldn't get your hands around me even if you tried._

_You wanna bet? _I took off in his direction, but Sam caught me around the tail and dragged me back in line with him.

_Jacob! Get your act together. This is just distracting you. Get focused. _

I didn't owe him an apology. I did want to rip Paul's throat out for being an arrogant son of a bitch. He couldn't just act like that and get away with it. Sam gave me an angry look. I let the thought go.

We ran the perimeters and didn't pick up any new scents. This sucked. I could really use a good fight to get my issues out. I wanted this stupid vamp issue to be gone as soon as possible. I hated the thought of putting Bella in any more danger than she already was.

Once Brady was somewhat familiar with the way we patrolled, Jared and Paul showed him some fighting techniques we were working on. This didn't require all of our help, but I was not allowed to go home and call Bella. Embry, Quil, I just sat on the ground. Seth was up and sitting next to Sam, watching very intently. Leah was off in the corner being her normal pouty self. I couldn't blame her though. She had gone through a really hard time and should be mad. I just wish that we didn't have to share thoughts, so I didn't have to feel awkward around Sam like she did.

Once again my mind drifted to Bella. I thought of the way her wet hair hung wavy on her shoulders. I recalled her smelling like me when she came out of the bathroom wearing my t-shirt and boxers. I could still feel her buttery smooth skin as I ran my hands up and down it. Then I thought of her lips, smooth and pink, on mine. I wanted her hands massaging my scalp while running through my hair, like they had before. My brain was consumed with Bella.

_Jake, can you think of something else, PLEASE? _Leah complained. I ignored her.

Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place. I couldn't help myself when it came to her. She was all I wanted. I had gotten carried away with her 'massage' and then just kissed her. But then she kissed me back. She _kept_ kissing me. I could feel her clutch to my body. I could smell her. I knew that she had wanted it. But then why was I feeling so bad? Why had she left so suddenly? I knew she had been freaked out by our sudden intrusion, but I didn't think that would freak her our enough to leave. Did she regret it?

I started to freak out a little bit. What if I had misread all the signs and she hadn't wanted me to keep kissing her? It was a very real possibility that I had made a huge mistake. Shit. What if she thought I was some kind of pervert and never wanted to speak to me again? If she thought I only wanted sex then she wouldn't want to hang out with me. _Shit_. I needed to tell her that I was sorry and that I didn't meant it. Sure, it had been the most amazing experience, but it wasn't worth it if it made her upset. I would do anything to have her talk to me again.

I was an idiot. I had messed everything up.

_Don't worry, Jake. Bella will come around. She knows you would never do something to hurt her. _Seth added. I had forgotten that my thoughts were on display for the whole world. I am almost positive that there had been comments made, but I wasn't listening. I really didn't want everyone knowing about how turned on how I felt by Bella. I especially didn't want them to know that she was as well. She would be way too embarrassed to show her face around the pack again. They liked to tease her.

I need to call her. I need to make sure she will still talk to me. I just need to hear her voice. Sam was getting annoyed with me.

_Go. Call Bella. We will all meet up back at my place. Emily is cooking dinner and we're going to the beach later. _

_Thanks Sam. _

I ran as fast as I could, trying not to think anything more. I heard everyone slowly break apart and phase out. Leah was complaining

_…stupid. All he ever thinks about is Bella. She doesn't even realize it. And here I am while Sam and Emily… _and she phased out.

Poor her. Then I heard Sam.

_Jacob, you and Bella will work it out. Now please, go call her so you can stop distracting everyone with your thoughts. _

I didn't answer. I just saw my house in front of me and phased. I changed quickly and ran for the phone. My dad was home,

"Hey son. The living room looks great. You two did a great job."

"Thanks dad. No one called while I was gone?"

"Nope. Are you expecting a call?"

"I guess not." I continued to the phone and dialed Bella's number.

RING, RING, RING.


	7. Chapter 7: Dodging Calls

Bella POV

The rain was pouring down hard on the windshield as I pulled into the driveway. When I opened the door, a gust of wind and water nearly swept me off of my feet. I wasn't wearing any shoes and I was still wearing Jake's oversized shirt and boxers. I ran as fast as I could to the porch and swung the screen door open, almost breaking my key while jamming it into the lock. I pulled myself inside and slammed the door behind me. Of coarse the rain was going to beat down when it was least convenient for me. I was soaked once again, from head to toe.

I dropped my bag and placed my keys on the counter. There was a message on the phone. I pressed the flashing red button and braced myself. I hoped it wasn't Jake.

"Hey Bella! It's Mike. Just wanted to know if you got my earlier message. We were going to meet up at the beach tonight, but as you can probably see, the weather in La Push is awful. So… we were going to go tomorrow night instead. I can come and pick you up if you want. Let me know. You have my number. See ya"

Great. Now I would have to stay inside all night and reflect. I would wait until tomorrow night to get out of the house. Maybe I should cancel. It wasn't good to be on La Push beach if I wanted to avoid Jacob like I planned. I grabbed the phone and hit redial. Mike answered on the second ring.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, its me. I was just returning your call about the beach"

"I know. It totally sucks that the weather is being so uncooperative. Are you still up for trying again for tomorrow?"

"Um, actually I wanted to talk about that…"

"Bella are you canceling again?"

He did have a point. I made it a regular occurrence to avoid all public outings with my previous friends. I knew they weren't as fond of me as they used to be for just this reason. I was flaky. I didn't want to go out and pretend to be normal and healed, when I so obviously wasn't. It just made everything so much harder when I broke down.

"Um, actually…" I took a deep breath. Hopefully I wouldn't regret this next decision. "I was just going to ask if you could still come and pick me up. My truck isn't doing so great and I would rather not push my luck"

"Oh! Ok. I can pick you up." He sounded a little too shocked. Was I really that bad? "I thought you were going to make up another excuse…anyways, I guess I will see you tomorrow then?"

"Great. Bye Mike" I hung up after that. Maybe I had made a mistake, but I couldn't fix it now. I would go to the beach and try to recollect the pieces of my fallen life. By agreeing to ride with Mike, I could avoid anyone seeing my truck in La Push. I could also try and repair that sad friendship.

Mike was a nice guy, but he was always a little too eager to get me away from Edward. He wanted to take me to prom and out on dates, but that wasn't going to happen. I was done with boys. No Mike, no Edward, and no Jake.

I tripped up the stairs to my room to strip myself from the soaked clothing. I hung the shirt and boxers on the towel rack in the bathroom while I ran yet another shower. This time I ran it extra hot. I wanted the events of today to be simmered and steamed off my skin. I closed the door and pinned my hair up, then stepped inside. It felt so good to be out of the cold and in the warm water. This time when I got out of the shower, I would not fall into the clutches of Jacob. I would go to my bed and do homework or read. I would not dream of him and I would not think about the kiss.

My mind was made up. I was not going to speak of the kiss again. It was great in the moment, but when reflected upon, it was a mistake. I had miscalculated my self-control. I had held back my sexual tension for too long and it was released on the first person I was close to. Yes, this was my argument. The feelings were purely chemicals and hormones working against me.

I spent 45 minutes using up all the water in the heater and convincing myself that I was an irresponsible teenager. I wrapped the soft cotton towel around my body and went back to my room. I pulled out warm sweats and a big hoodie. I grabbed my worn out copy of Wuthering Heights and turned to the chapter I had nearly finished last night.

I was asleep before I knew it. I dreamt of Renee and Phil in Jacksonville watching a pro baseball game. They were happy and I was enjoying their company. The dream went on to follow seemingly routine events. It flashed through previous memories of days with Renee. Ballet classes, planting vegetables in the garden, reading books on the porch swing outside, and the Arizona heat. Then the memories flipped to be of the green mossy Olympic Peninsula and Charlie. Coming out to visit him and going on several fishing trips with his buddies. Moving through the years and always visiting the same red house at each visit. Images of Jacob growing up with me, as my best friend, swirled around. I thought of him as a kid, then as a very different ten year old, an awkward 13 year old with a cracking voice, and then finally the 15-year-old Jacob I had reconnected with. The last image I had was of the russet wolf on the beach. In his eyes I saw the mature and changed Jacob I knew now and I saw him in a whole different light.

I was stirred awake by the shrill ringing of the house phone. I ran downstairs clumsily and barely missed the call. When I saw the number pop up I turned away from the phone. I didn't want to answer the call. It was Jacob. He was the last person I wanted to talk to. I didn't need to remind myself of what happened.

The phone stopped ringing after 8 loud shrill. I started back up the stairs only to find the phone ringing again. _Seriously? I don't want to speak to you Jacob_.

He needed to accept my silence as an answer to the questions he was asking himself. No, we weren't a couple. No I didn't want to kiss him again. No I wasn't going to speak to him. There. I had answered his questions.

The third call, he left a voice message. It was still cheery and slightly sarcastic.

"Bells, you better not have tripped and hurt yourself on your mad dash away from me. I know you have to be getting home some time and when you get this message, you need to call me. Kay, bye."  
I made my way back up the stairs and pulled the covers off my bed. I bundled them up and gathered some of my stray clothes off the floor. I could do laundry while I waited for Charlie to get home. I sorted the colors and popped them in the outdated machine. I did some of the leftover dishes and I moped the floors in the kitchen while I was waiting for the wash to finish. It was about an hour and a half until Charlie's cruiser pulled up behind my truck. The phone was ringing for the third time when he walked into the door.

"Bella are you going to answer that?"  
"No" I shrugged. He read too much into my passive expression

"Is there a reason you don't want to talk to Jacob?" He said reading the caller id.

"I don't know, just drop it ok?"

"Suit yourself, Bells"  
"I am very capable of handling this by myself. I don't need you to tell me what I should be doing. If I don't want to talk to Jacob, then I am not going to talk to him" I huffed and pulled the last load out of the dryer. I began to fold the clothes and place them into my clothes hamper.  
"What do you want for dinner? I was thinking I could make some chicken"

"That's sounds fine. Exactly how many times has he called Bells?"

"Four. Why?"

"Does he know that you are mad at him?"

"Oh my god dad. Drop it."

"He is your best friend. You should talk to him. He obviously wants to talk to you"

"I know." I moved into the kitchen and pulled out the marinated chicken from the fridge. Charlie settled himself on the couch and turned on the TV to his favorite baseball team. I could hear him grumble as the home team struck out. I cooked the chicken with some rice and placed the platters on the table. "Dinner is on the table. I am going to run to the bathroom real quick". I set down the water glasses and made my way upstairs and to the bathroom. I could hear the phone ring again. _Did he ever give up?_

I could hear Charlie shuffle around in the kitchen and that was not a good sign. The ringing stopped and I assumed that Charlie had answered the phone. _Damn it. Doesn't anyone listen to me? I didn't want to speak to him. _

The conversation was short because I heard Charlie make his way back to his chair. They must have spoken. I washed up and went back down stairs. Charlie was shuffling the rice and chicken around on the plane. He looked up at me with a 'you should be ashamed of yourself' glare.

"What did he want?"

"You need to speak to him, Bells. He sounded really low. I know you are mad, even though you can't explain to me why, but you should work it out. He is good for you. He has been nothing but a loyal friend to you. He at least deserves to know what he did wrong"

"I know. I will call him in the morning; I just can't talk to him tonight. What did you tell him anyways?"

"That you were out. You know if you don't call him back, he will just find someway to come here and confront you" He was right. Jake was a very confrontational person. He would make me talk to him.

"I will call. I promise."

I made good on my promise. I had called Jacob. It was nearly midnight when I had. I was going to tell him that I needed my space to think about things and that the moment we shared was irresponsible on my part. I also wanted to throw in that I was sorry for leading him to that awful conclusion but he didn't answer. I had promised Charlie that I would call and I had. It wasn't my fault that no one was home.


	8. Chapter 8: Running Into You

Jacob POV

As if I didn't feel bad enough, now I had to deal with some sloppy pack business. Brady had been on his very first patrol, alone and had caught a scent. I guess Sam had forgotten to mention the part about not getting your ass killed by following the scent all the way to the scene. Common sense would have told him the same thing, but I guess he wasn't a common sense kind of guy.

Since I was the closest to him, I had to go and correct the situation. A part of me was glad for the vampire intrusion. This meant that I got to fight something and work out all the excess stress I was practically radiating. On the other hand, it meant trouble and danger to Bella. I needed to make sure she was safe. I was sure she was just at home ignoring me, but I couldn't be sure unless she answered the damn phone.

Charlie must want to kill me by now. I had called nearly six times. At first he was polite and said that Bella was busy. His responses soon turned to worry for my sanity and then lastly to annoyance. I am sure that he would try and shoot me through the phone if I called one more time. I would just have to show up at the house. Although Charlie was getting aggravated with me, I was sure that he would back me up. He had always shown a particular favoritism towards me. I was practically family.

I knew that Bella wanted her privacy, but I needed her to understand. I needed her to know that I wasn't some kind of perv who only wanted to feel her up. I loved every ounce of her. Every single thing she did, I loved. The small things that went unnoticed were my favorite. The way she wiggled her nose when she pushed her hair behind her ears. Or that she tapped her fingers on her shoe when she crossed her legs. I loved how she got nervous at the smallest things and I loved the way she smells fresh out of the shower. How could I not love her?

I reached Brady faster than I thought possible. I guess I had been more eager to beat this leech than I realized.

_What happened?_

_I was just running on the border and the scent just hit me. I thought that I was wrong about the direction, but then I followed it and it led me back to the Cullen's. I couldn't see which one it was but I am positive it wasn't Edward. _

_Are you sure? Did you find out where they were going?_

_Yes. I am positive. The trail doubled back to Forks, almost to the border and then it turned around and went back to the house. I followed it to Bella's house. They were definitely there, but she wasn't. Bella wasn't anywhere near her house so I figured they were looking for her. _

_Of coarse they were looking for her. Those stupid leeches. They leave her to die and then come back to check on their handiwork. _

_Jacob, we can't cross over into Forks if they are here. The treaty prevents us from protecting her on that side of the border. If they are back, we can only protect her in La Push._

_I am aware of that. I need to talk to Sam._

I took off towards Sam's house. There was no way that any sort of visit from the Cullens could be good. I hated feeling restricted by the treaty. I didn't want my territorial rights to be restricted just because there was a Cullen nearby.

When I saw his house in view I slowed down and howled. Sam came out and stood before me. He phased and joined me. I could feel him going over the conversation I shared with Brady. His mind remained calm although he was feeling the same emotions I was. He had been the one to find Bella in the forest that night. I had seen the horrible memory he had of her. I nearly cringed as he revisited it. It hurt him to think of what the Cullens did to her.

_We have to talk to the Cullens. Do we know who it is? _

_No. Brady didn't get much out of the trail. _

_Round up the pack. We have to head over to the Cullen's house. We can try and talk to them. There is no need to freak out before we have to. _

As soon as the pack was phased we took off. We divided into two groups. Sam and I, along with Quil, Jared, and Paul would go to the Cullen's. Leah, Seth, Brady and Jared would try and follow the trails. Embry would watch Bella's house from the border to see if she was on her way home.

We made our way to the mansion on the hill_. _The scent stung my nose and burned the back of my throat. I wanted to turn around and run the other direction, but my need to protect Bella kept me heading forward.

We were met at the door, by two of the Cullens. The black haired pixie looking one and the blonde southern one stood at the doorway.

"We didn't mean to cause such a mess. Jasper and I are only here for Bella's sake. I promise as soon as we find out that Bella is safe, we will leave"

I could see Sam thinking through the conversation he wanted to have. He turned for the trees and motioned for me to follow him. We phased once out of view and then jogged back.

"Alice and Jasper, right?" Sam asked.

"That's correct."

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't understand how at this moment, Sam was completely calm. He showed no sign of hesitation as he spoke. He made a good alpha, able to control his emotions better than anyone.

"I had a vision and I saw Bella doing something awful. Then her future went blank. I thought she was dead so I rushed here. No one knows we are here and I would like to keep it that way"

"What exactly did you see?"

"I saw Bella jump off a cliff" She sniped. I almost growled. I didn't like that thought any more than she did. I felt a wave of calm wash over my shoulders. I looked to the blonde one and he nodded.

"How did you do that?" I asked, baffled and irritated.

"Jasper can manipulate emotions. He wanted to make sure you didn't lose your temper" Alice replied. "You're welcome"

"I wasn't –" Sam cut me off

"What exactly were you planning to do?"  
"I don't know. I needed to make sure that it was true so that I could accurately explain it to the others."

"Bella is alive and perfectly safe"

"How is that possible? I saw her jump?"

"I pulled her out of the water"

"Oh. I still don't understand why I can't see her now. Where is she?"

"I don't know. She was at home."

"Well she isn't now. I should find her. I need to make sure you are telling the truth. It is very dangerous to have her come up blank in my mind. I can't tell what is going to happen"

"You've been keeping tabs on her. Don't you think that is kind of pointless since you left"

"I didn't want to leave. It was Edward's choice. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting her have her own life. I merely went along with his wishes. Although we all left, I still care about Bella very much. I want her to be safe as much as you do" She thought she could talk to me like we were one in the same. She would never be forgiven for leaving Bella the way they did.

"I guarantee you that she is safe. Now go back to the rock you crawled out from under" I snapped back. Jasper stepped in front of her defensively.

"Jacob Black, don't think that you have control over me. You are just a little pup. I can see that you care about Bella, but I need to see for myself, that she is ok"

"If you go and see her don't you think that would just bring up some horrible memories for her. She has been through a lot these past couple months. There is no need to bring all of that back." Sam added.

"I don't want to cause any more trouble. I just need to make sure. I would hate Edward to get the wrong idea about Bella." I growled at his name.

"Speaking of, where is he?"

"I don't know. He took off and hasn't been in contact"

"So he isn't coming back?" Sam said the words I couldn't. I didn't want to think about what could happen if he were to come back. The effects on Bella and my life would be enormous.

"No. I don't think he is. But he will if he thinks Bella is dead. Therefore, I think I should go find Bella."

"I don't trust you" I managed to blurt out. I didn't want to risk the pixie talking to Bella and sending her into another downward spiral.

"And why is that?" She jabbed back. "You think I am going to hurt her again. You're wrong. I would never do that. I am going to respect Edwards wishes and let her live a normal life no matter how much it hurts me"

"Let us go with you then" Sam offered.

"I suppose that would be ok. Jasper would that work for you?" He nodded. I didn't like the thought of leading them straight to Bella, but I certainly didn't want to trust them to leave her alone. "We think she went to the beach. Her scent stops that far."

"We will travel with you until then, you can see from there that she is ok" Sam explained, "We need to make sure that you are aware of the treaty. We will travel with you across the border so you can see Bella at the beach, but then we will have to ask you to cross back over"  
"Of coarse. That is why we didn't cross over before. We don't mean to break the treaty. It is very nice of you to make the exception for us. I guarantee these are special one time circumstances."

I couldn't understand how Sam could be this forgiving. Sam saw the pain that Bella suffered first hand and here he was talking to these leeches like old friends.

I snorted. Sam shot me a look grievance. This was not the best time to get on Sam's nerves.

"Let's get going," I grunted. The pixie was getting agitated with my mood but I didn't care. I just wanted them out of our hair. I wanted to go see Bella and I didn't want to think about the Cullens.

We raced towards the border, crossed over and made our way to the beach. It was weird having the two leeches by our side. Sam and I stayed in our human form while we ran beside them. The rest of the pack stayed behind so as not to scare them off, not like that would be a bad thing.

We got to the forest edge of First Beach. The sun was already setting. The sky was a light blue, the sun just peaking over the horizon. I could see the groups of students in clusters on the beach. I saw the familiar van belonging to the Newton kid and then I saw Bella. She looked beautiful with her hair swept to the side and her jeans tucked into her boots. She was surrounded with her friends who looked only slightly interested that she was there.

"Bella" the pixie vamp whispered. She tilted her head to the side and looked longingly over at her. It was a strange thing to witness. It was as if she was losing a friend. She stood at the edge of the woods for minutes just watching Bella. I watched her too. We watched her flit along with her friend, sit beside her on a driftwood log, share stories, and watched the fire reflections dance across her face as her eyes lit up with happiness. I wanted to know what she was thinking about, so badly.

"Ok" She said after what seemed like eternity. "I believe you." She started to turn away. "I really hope you love her, Jacob. She needs someone who can give her a life my brother never could. Treat her well." Then she turned away, grabbed the blonde leech's hand and sped off into the distance.

Bella POV

I couldn't help but grunt as Mike picked me up from my house. I admitted to wanting to stay home. I wasn't in the mood to go to the beach, but I couldn't stay home and risk having Jake show up.

Mike would not stop talking in the car ride on the way over. I'm not sure if he picked up on the fact that I wasn't listening. I couldn't keep my mind away from Jake.

I looked out the window and saw the trees I thought of riding bikes with Jake. I looked at my shoes and thought of walking back in the rain, with Jake. When I put on Chap Stick, I thought of Jake's lips on mine. He was flooding my mind, clouding my judgment, and swaying my opinion. No matter how much I wanted to forget everything that had happened, I couldn't. There was no way I could now. I was stuck in this rut.

We had stopped at First Beach. Angela was parked on the right of Eric and us to the left. I got out speedily and went immediately to Angela's side. The only parts of Mike's conversation I had caught were of prom. If that had continued, I am sure I would have been roped into another awkward situation involving dancing in heels. No way!

"Hey Bella. Aren't you glad the weather picked up? I didn't think we would be able to do this"

"Yeah. This is good. I needed to get out of the house"

"Why is something wrong?"

"Ahh, kind of. Ill explain when there aren't so many people around" I whispered closer into her ear. She looked around us at the others crawling out of their cars.

"I'll make sure you do. You also have to tell me about Jacob." I gave her an uneasy look. "Bella, are the two things connected? Are you and Jacob having problems?"

"We kissed." I thought I said it quiet enough that she wouldn't hear, but she did. Her mouth dropped and her lips curled at the sides into a big smile. Then she squealed.

"Bella! Oh my god!" She jumped up in the air and clapped her hands together. I wasn't used to the enthusiastic Angela. She was usually reserved like myself. "You have to tell me everything!" We were getting looks from Mike and Jessica. Angela whipped around to them "What are you looking at?" then she hooked her arm around mine and led me towards the campsite that Eric had set up.

"Ang, it really wasn't that big of a deal. Actually I think I totally ruined it because then I freaked out and ran" I looked down at my shoes. It was more embarrassing to say out loud.

"You ran? How? Did you just leave?"

"Yeah I left. Embry kind of walked in on us and I just bolted"  
"No way!"

"You're not making this any better"

"Sorry. How was it?" She had no shame. She was good at getting me to say things I didn't want to.

"It was…fantastic, amazing. I can't even describe it," I could see her smile growing "But it was so irresponsible. It was my body reacting and not me. I wasn't thinking straight."

"Still thinking about Edward?"

I nodded. I would never be over him. This accidental kiss only made me realize it even more. It was nice in the moment, but it couldn't go anywhere. I would just end up breaking his heart.

"Bella?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking"

"Which one?"

"You were thinking of one of the two guys. Was it Edward or Jacob?"

"Both. I can't give Jacob what he wants. I am still in love with Edward but Jacob wants me to forget him. I cant do that."

"You can't love them both?"

"I never thought of it like that. My love for Edward has always been dominant. I can't just let Jake in, I don't think I even know how."  
"Bella, he is already in your heart. You have already let him in. Maybe it would be a good thing for you to pursue this thing with Jacob. You can finally let go of the last pieces of Edward and start to be happy again. He has already begun to fix you. It seems like every time I see you, you are smiling. He did that"  
"Yes, he did." I wanted to smile. Jake really came through these past months. He had been the best friend anyone could ask for. It was selfish of me to kiss him and then take it back. He deserved better. He was a great guy, but I couldn't promise him the things he wanted right now. I don't think that those things would be possible for a long time, if ever.

When the sun was all the way down, Mike threw the last of the logs onto the fire. It roared to life as we sat around it. I was shocked by how easily I could talk to my friends again. It seemed like they were making an effort to include me in conversation again. At least most of them were. Jessica and Angela were desolate on their side of the fire.

Mike passed around marshmallows and chocolate so that we could make smores. Angela and I were sitting quietly next to Eric when Lauren directed her next comment to me.

"Bella do you know what Jacob is doing for the long weekend?"

"I haven't talked to him in a couple days, so no."

"I was thinking about inviting him and a couple of his friends up this weekend"  
"For what?"

"The big party at my daddy's lake house"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you two are friends and Jessica will need a date, so he could bring his friends. You wouldn't have a problem would you?"  
"Well, it's just that—"  
"Great! So it's settled then. Why don't you call him over then?"

"What are you talking about?"  
"Isn't that him over there? On the other side of the beach, with the football?"

_Oh god. It was him. Along with the pack. Great. This night was just getting more and more interesting. _

Before I had time to say anything else, they were on their way over. Lauren was standing to greet the boys and Leah. They looked enormous next to her tiny frame. She called Jake over and gave him a hug like they were old friends.

"Come and sit with us. Mike can you get these boys a drink?" Mike snorted and headed to the cooler. Jake politely addressed the crowd, being the usual charmer. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as I kept my eyes plastered on the ground below me. I couldn't look up. He knew I was ignoring him and yet he didn't say anything.

"We just saw a few familiar faces and decided to come over and say 'hi'. This is Quil, Embry, Sam, Paul, Jared, Seth, and Leah." He introduced them one by one. Jessica had her eyes on Paul. I could see that Quil was ogling Lauren, yuck, and Jacob kept looking down at me. His stare felt like a thousand pounds on my shoulders.

"We were just talking about you, weren't we Bella?" Lauren addressed me. She sounded like we were best friends. The high pitch in her voice was starting to annoy me.

"I am going to take a walk"

"Do you want company?" Jake courteously offered.

"No. I need to be by myself for a minute" I stomped off before he could protest. Lauren wasted no time and brought him to a seated position next to her. The rest of the pack had made their way into the sand. I was sure that they were all bonding wonderfully without me.

I followed the trail to the mossy forest off to the side. I traveled through it until it popped back out onto the beach. I found the familiar driftwood branch and sat down. Why was I being such a chicken? I could face him, couldn't I? This wasn't as big of a deal as I was making it. People kiss all the time. But then again, it wasn't usually with their best friend, who definitely wanted more out of it.

The silence was broken by the low whisper of Jake. I didn't look up at him as he spoke. I kept my face forward, looking out at the ocean waves crashing on the shore.

"I called you a couple of times. I don't know if you got any of my messages." Of coarse I had gotten them. "I get that you don't want to talk to me. I probably freaked you out enough for one lifetime." He made his way to stand in front of me, blocking my calming view of the ocean.

"Bella, I am really sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. It was out of line. You have only made your feelings clear to me about a thousand times and I totally crossed the line. I just got carried away and I will do anything to make it up to you. Please say something" His voice was pleading and full of pain. How could he think that any of this was his fault? He was always blaming himself. If anyone was to blame it was me. I had led him on.

"Jake are you crazy? Why are you apologizing? I am so sorry that I just left like that. I should have stayed and explained to you. I was broken really bad, Jake, and I don't think the pain is going to go away. I cant be that girl for you. I am so sorry that I led you on like that and I feel like a coward hiding from your phone calls. I'm just so sorry" I was crying now. I could feel Jake's arms scooping me up into one of his hugs. He let my tears stain his shirt and I was thankful.

"Bells, I am just glad you are talking to me. I didn't want this to get in the way of our friendship. I really shouldn't have acted like that. You need to know that I would never try and push you to feel that way about me. I just want you to be happy" He put me down and I used my sleeve to wipe away the remaining tears from my eyes.

"Can we just please forget that this whole thing happened?" I could see the slight hurt in his eyes and I wanted to take back what I said, "I don't mean that it was horrible, it's just been making me feel guilty. I wish that I could be everything you need, but I cant. I don't want to lose you over something like this.

"Yes. I just want to be your friend Bells. We can just put this behind us if that will make you feel better. I promise to behave myself from now on, ok?"

I nodded. To be honest, forgetting it would make me feel a whole lot better. I was just worried that he wouldn't be able to.

"Are we ok now?" He asked, laughing slightly.

"Mhmm."

"Well, that's good. Apparently, the pack is going to Lauren Mallory's spring lake house extravaganza" he chuckled.

"What? I thought she was kidding. She really invited you?"

"Yup. Apparently she was blown away by our good looks. Quil was pretty excited when she mentioned that her sister was bringing some of her friends."  
"Wow. Don't let that kiss go to your head"

"It was one hell of a kiss, Bells." I blushed at his comment. So much for not talking about it. "Sorry, I wont bring it up again." He corrected himself immediately. "Do you want to head back to your friends?"

"I'd rather not if you don't mind."

"I'm cool to just sit here with you"  
"Thanks Jake." I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I am sorry"

"Me too." He whispered into my hair.

We sat motionless staring out at the waves. The rolls of white and blue under the stars, that cycled endlessly. The distant popping and cracking of the bonfires could be heard from where we sat. We didn't need anything but the sand and the surf at this moment. We were just Jake and Bells.


	9. Chapter 9: Take Off!

Bella POV

I watched the school clock tick leisurely as if it was taking its own sweet time moving. The school day had dragged on forever and the teacher's words seemed to slur in my head. I found myself daydreaming, again. It would be a packed house this weekend. As much as I hated it, Lauren was being very generous to lend us the house for the weekend. Her parents didn't know how many people she was having over, but they had agreed to give her the keys anyways. All of us in a cabin for the weekend would surely lead to some interesting things.

The whole pack would be there. Eric, Tyler, Mike, Angela with Ben, Jessica and her sister, Lauren of coarse, and a couple of her older friends. I didn't know how we were all going to fit inside the lake house. I assumed it was big, but so were the boys.

It nearly made me sick to think of Lauren drooling over the pack. I get it. I know that their dark skin and surplus of muscles made them easy eye candy, but it was hard to image what she was thinking. She had never been a PG girl. I hated even more thinking about the pack thinking about her. Quil was obviously attracted to Lauren and Seth had his eye on Jessica. I thought about Jacob. I had practically given him the ok to go for another girl. I kissed him and then left then told him to forget the whole thing. I did want to put that behind us, even though it was hard to do. I wanted him to be happy, but not with anyone else. _Stupid, selfish Bella. You want him all to yourself. _

I knew that the pack had an overactive imagination when it came to girls. Jake had explained to me, with less detail thank goodness, about how Quil and Embry thought. They hadn't had real girlfriends before, no one really had and so everything was left up to the imagination about how it would be. Paul and Jared were more experienced when it came to the physical stuff and loved to brag about it. I didn't want to know if Jake thought that way too. I'm sure he did, he was a teenage boy after all, and I just hoped he didn't. He was still my childhood best friend no matter how good he looked or well he kissed.

No doubt, a weekend with a house full of half-naked girls on the water would motivate some inappropriate behavior on the boy's behalf. Would Jake be 'one of the guys' and drool over them? He had always been more like Sam, reserved, than like Paul or Jared. I really didn't want to see that change all because of beer and bikini's. If he were the Jake I knew and loved, I wouldn't have to worry.

A very anxious Jessica nudged me in the shoulder. She had slid over from her side of the classroom to sit in the empty seat by me.

"Bella!" She practically screamed in whispered tones. I snapped out of my twisted world raging in my head and turned to look at her.

"Hey Jess." I tried smiling. If I wanted this weekend to go smoothly, I needed her and I to be on good terms.

"Are you excited? This is going to be such a fun weekend. It was so smart for you to invite the Quileute boys along. They will definitely add to the party. Don't you think?"

"Yes. I think Paul likes you." I knew that would make her happy.

"Really?" She squeaked. I nodded ferociously. If I could be on good terms with her then maybe she could tell Lauren to back off. I didn't need her spitting her venom at me all weekend. It was bad enough to spend the weekend in a house with her, let alone having her mad at me. I had never done anything to make her hate me, but she had always given me the 'you're not worth my time' look.

The teacher shot Jessica a look of disapproval when she heard the squeaks and squeals coming from our table. Jessica shot me a smile and moved back to her original seat.

DING!

Finally. The bell had rung and we were all free to go. This weekend would be a much-needed release for me. My calculus test and British Lit. paper were both planned for today and I was barely awake by then end of them.

I made my way to my locker and found Angela and Ben.

"Hey" I greeted them.

"Do you know what time we are leaving?"

"I'm not sure. I'll call Jake. I think I will need to ride with you guys because my truck wont make it that far."

"We are going to ride in Mike's suburban. He has plenty of room." Ben added.

"Thanks. I'd rather not ride with Jessica and Lauren." I joked. They both laughed. No one would willingly put himself or herself in that situation. Being on a road trip was like being on Saw, you were doomed to lose body parts or blow your brains out. Either way, it wasn't good.

We made out way out to the parking lot, trying to push through the crowds of students as eager to get out as we were. I heard the blasting stereos of a car and thought it could be only one person.

There it was. The beat up Bronco in the parking lot, with five giant Quileute boys leaning against it.

"Bella!" Quil yelled over the rock music. I couldn't help but laugh. "You're riding with us, darling." He smiled and walked up to us. He pulled me into a bear hug until I couldn't breathe. Normally I wouldn't mind his overly affectionate displays and attempt at flirting, but people were staring.

"Quil leave her alone. You have embarrassed her enough for one lifetime." Jake sighed coming to my rescue. He pulled me out of Quil's arms and pulled me into his own. "So what do you say Bells? Road trip with the boys?" He looked hopeful.

"Only as long as you promise to keep your hormonal teenage thoughts to yourself." I laughed.

"I can, but I'm not so sure about these guys behind me." He shot a thumb behind him at the other guys hanging from the truck. They looked smug.

"We'll try Bella, but I can't guarantee anything." Embry smiled at me. He had always been respectful of me and made an effort to include me. I knew that he was just being polite, but I also think he was still trying to make up for walking in on Jake and me.

I wasn't sure about the rest of the pack. I had known Quil and Embry forever but the rest of the guys were hesitant towards me. Paul had never liked me, although I think he was getting better. Jared had been quiet around me since the beginning, but he had defended me against Paul a few times. Sam was the hardest one to get approval from. He was always so stern and I felt that it was my fault they were always risking their lives. He had seen me the first night after Edward left and had never gotten over it. The boys needed to get over their issue with me if this was going to work. Jake and I were best friends and that wasn't going to change. I'm not going anywhere so they need to suck it up.

Jessica, Mike and Lauren had come over to us in the midst of my thoughts. Jessica was giving Quil a map to her lake house. I could see Quil staring down her shirt while she pointed to the best route on the map. I walked up to him and smacked him as hard as I could. He snapped his head up and looked instantly guilty.

Mike seemed to be taking control of the whole situation. He had a house on the lake as well and he knew the best way to get there. He barked out orders. We were to meet in front of his families store in an hour once we got our bags together and then we could leave from there.

I returned to Jake's warm side before going out to my car.

"I made sure Billy called Charlie again. I think he softened him up so that he doesn't give you a hard time about this weekend." He smiled.

"Thanks that will help a lot. I think he feels better that he knows I am going with you."

"Charlie does love me like his own son. He trusts me."

"Yes, because you are the level-headed adult that he trusts to take care of his innocent daughter." I laughed.

"I always take care of you don't I?"

"Yes, but you still underestimate his leniency. He does have a gun and he'll come after you if something bad happens to me."

"He couldn't shoot me even if he tried. I'm bullet proof remember?" He smirked.

"Whatever."

"Are you excited?" He chuckled.

"Actually, yes. I need a vacation. I've been so stressed this week. I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"Me too." He whispered.

"What about?" I was curious. I looked up at him and he just stared at the ground.

"You don't want to hear it." He chuckled a little bit. Now I really needed to know.

"Jake what is it? You can't just say that and then expect me not to be curious."

"You're one hell of a kisser, Bells. I can't seem to stop thinking about you."

"Jake…" I tried to stop him but he only hushed me.

"I know you don't want to hear it but I can't help it. I know I said we would forget it, but I cant."

"I have to go, Jake." He tried calling after me but I was halfway to my car. I had a knack for running out on situations that involved Jake professing his feelings for me. To be truthfully honest, I hadn't stopped thinking about it either.

I got home and rushed up the stairs. I fell, twice, but made it up to my room in one piece. I jumped into the shower and washed my hair, toweled off and changed into dry clothes. I had started packing the night before, but had done the wash and needed to add some extra things.

I didn't own a one-piece bathing suit, only a black two piece that my mom had bought me. I had filled out a little since last year and she took me shopping last time I went to visit. She had bought it for me because she said it made me look sexy. I hadn't worn it and it sat in the corner of my underwear drawer, untouched. I threw it in the bag. _What the hell_.

I had to get out all my clothes from Phoenix for this trip. With the constant cover of clouds and rain, there wasn't any need for shorts and tank tops. I packed those along with a dress or two. It was not me at all, but I was up for being optimistic.

I went down stairs to write a note for Charlie who wasn't home yet. I had tried calling first, but there was no answer. I would call him when we got to the lake.

_DAD._

_Left for the lake house around 3pm. There are some leftovers for you in the fridge. Just reheat them. Like he promised, Jake will look out for me. I promise not to do anything stupid. I will call you once we get there. I have my cell if you need anything. Enjoy your weekend with Billy._

_Love,_

_Bella._

I rushed out to my truck in an effort not to be late. I threw my duffle bag in the truck bed and made my way through Forks. I gunned it to the store with my 55mph maximum. I made it in time and was relieved to find that not everyone had arrived yet.

Jessica was talking with Mike involving directions and bathroom breaks. She waved to me when I got out of my car. Angela and Ben had parked next to me. I got out to join her. She smiled at me as I set my bag down next to her.

I couldn't help watch Lauren as she made her grand entrance. She pulled up rather noisily with some girly pop music playing from her stereo. She hopped out and adjusted her very short denim skirt. I couldn't help but look down at my drab jeans and sneakers. Girls always looked well thought out and done up. I looked messy. I saw her flick her little fingers in a wave to Jake, who I noticed for the first time. She smiled at him and he blushed and looked down at his shoes. He looked satisfied with himself.

"Bella, you're doing it again. What has got you so tangled up? Hello?" She waved her hand in my face.

"Sorry Ang. I'm distracted."

"No kidding."

"I'll give you girls a chance to talk." Ben said politely and he went over to Mike.

"Thinking about Jacob again?" She nudged my shoulder.

"No. Just staring at Lauren flirting with him."

"Do you care?"

"No." I tried to sound like it didn't affect me, but I couldn't hide it well.

"Why don't you just go out with him already? I've seen you two together. It would be so easy for you to just claim him as your own right now. He's staring at you." She smiled and I tried hard not to turn around. "Bella, I swear if you don't make a move, Lauren will. You know how she is when she sets her eye on a guy."

"Gross." I made a nasty face at thinking about Lauren with her slimy hands all over Jake.

"You do care!" She pinched my arm.

"Ow!" I squirmed. "Of coarse I care. I don't want him and Lauren together like that, but that doesn't mean I want him and I together like that either."

"From what you said, it sounds like you two already were." She smirked her devilish grin. I sighed loudly so that she could hear my annoyance. "Think about it Bella. You have all weekend to figure it out."

"I hate you sometimes." I tried to sound annoyed but I came out as a whine. She was right. I was so hopeless right now.

Jacob POV

I couldn't help but smile at thinking that Bella and I would get to spend the weekend together. It was also time away from stupid pack duties. Sam never let us leave the rez but he was making a special occasion for this weekend because Emily wanted to stay on the lake as well, and we all know he cant say no to Emily.

Quil drove us to Newton's store and we waited in the car, playing with the new sound system before the others got there.

"Jake, you ready to party this weekend?" Jared asked me.

"Hell yeah." I responded. I looked back to where he was. He was filling the cooler with ice and popping in the sodas. As soon as we got to a store we could get the alcohol.

Seth and Leah pulled up their mom's station wagon. Leah looked as unpleased as ever. Seth was just as excited to get away for the weekend as we were.

"Hey guys! When's takeoff?" He asked.

"As soon as Bella gets here we can bounce."

"If she ever gets here. Wait… never mind" Jared started, but then we all heard her Chevy pulling down the road.

When she finally pulled up I felt a wave of relief fall over me. I didn't like being away from her for any period of time. I was surprised when she didn't come over and instead sat in her car for a minute. When she saw her friend, the nice one, Angela, she got out and joined her. Now that I thought about it, it made sense that she didn't come over. She was still upset about the things I said about the kiss. She needed to know how I felt.

The next person to arrive was that Lauren girl, the showy one who seemed to enjoy eyeing me down. She was looking at me again. Didn't she have anything better to do? It was silly really. I made eye contact and she smiled and waved. I could see the hidden agenda written all over her face. It was a schoolgirl crush. I smiled back and tried to hold back my laughter.

At this point, Megan Fox could come up to me wearing a babydoll and I would still be thinking about kissing Bella.

I was watching Bella talk to her friend. They didn't know I could hear everything they were saying. The Angela girl was asking Bella about what she was thinking of. I listened harder, without looking too conspicuous. Bella was saying something about me. She was thinking about me? I listened longer. Angela was working in my favor, telling Bella to give in for her feelings towards me. Then Bella sounded upset when Angela mentioned Lauren and me. What the hell? I didn't know that Lauren girl bothered her as much as she did me. I didn't want Lauren on me any more than Bella did. Then Angela said something I wasn't expecting. She had gotten Bella to admit that she was thinking about our kiss and that she was jealous of Lauren. She didn't need to be, but it was nice to know.

Angela left her and she turned awkwardly to me. I turned around so she wouldn't know I was staring at her this whole time. She hesitantly walked up to me and I could smell the fresh shower on her skin. I inhaled deeply taking in every ounce of it. She smelled delicious and she looked even better when she made her way to the front of me. It was hard not to pull her up into my arms. The thing that made it harder was looking at her face and seeing a fresh blush on her cheeks. I couldn't help but smile and breathe in her strawberry, melon, plum, and freesia scented skin.

"Bells." I spoke quietly.

"Jake." She responded.

"You still riding with us?"

"Only because I promised Quil. You broke your promise. You said you weren't going to talk about the kiss and you just had to bring it up."

"I'm not going to apologize for that. I was being honest."

"Well, then it is going to be a long car ride."

"Fine." We were jousting. I knew there was more she wasn't saying. She was feeling the same things I was and she couldn't deny it anymore.

I picked up her duffel from the ground and threw it into the back. Paul was sleeping there among the baggage. He stirred slightly as the bag hit him, but then kept snoring.

Newton was driving Angela, Ben, Tyler and Eric. Jessica and Lauren were driving together in her car. Seth and Leah would be following us. In Quil's car we had Jared in the front, Paul in the back and Embry, Bella and I squeezed in the middle row. I smiled down at her, squished between two werewolves.

We were given instructions to drive 40 miles until we reached the convenient store. We could pick up food, booze, and I could talk to Bella.


	10. Chapter 10: Stopping and Starting

Bella POV

Quil and Jared were up front arguing about the better rock band while messing with the radio. Paul was snoring loudly in the back and I was stuck between Embry and Jake. I tried to pretend that he wasn't annoying me, but he was. He kept looking over at me. I knew why he was doing it too. He was trying to get me to talk to him, which I refused to do. He said he wasn't going to bring up the kiss and he had. I don't know which made me madder. The fact that he refused to drop it, or that somewhere inside of me I couldn't help but agree with him about how amazing it was.

"Bells. Are you ever going to talk to me?" He laughed and looked at me. I turned my head to give him a glare. It didn't work because he kept smiling at me like an idiot.

"Why exactly aren't you two talking?" Quil asked curiously.

"Because he cant keep his thoughts to himself." I answered quickly. He just laughed at me even more.

"Of coarse not. That isn't something a guy is willing to forget."

"What is?"

"Oh, Jake and Bella-" Embry started. I had to cut him off before the entire car knew about the kiss.

"Don't. Say. Anything." I threatened.

"We will find out eventually, Bella. Jake has been good at blocking off his thoughts up to this point and Embry wont say anything, but we _will_ find out. He'll let it slip." Quil looked back at me and grinned.

"Not if I can help it." I grunted.

"Well, until then, I can revel in the memory." Jake sighed and leaned back in his seat, putting his arms behind his head. I huffed.

The last ten miles had been chatty. Once Quil got over his prying for information, he chatted up the boys. They were truthful to their word, talking about only both gender-approved subjects.

It was getting hot in the car. Being packed like a sardine, between two werewolves running 109-degree temperatures was difficult. I thought I was suffocating and the windows had to be rolled down. It was horrible that we were stuck in holiday traffic. The 40 miles seemed like 200. I was relieved when I saw the Stop&Shop ahead of us.

When we stopped, I climbed quickly over Jacob and got out. I stretched my legs and went around the back to get my shorts out of my bag. I moved my way past Jacob and found Angela stretching her legs too.

"I was going to change quickly. You wanted to get food right?" I asked her. She nodded and kissed Ben on the cheek. She told him she would be back.

"How was the ride over?"

"I don't want to talk about it." The tension in the car could have been cut with a knife. Angela and I got the key and changed in the bathroom. Incidentally, I had brought the paint shorts. They were the only ones that I had that weren't completely ugly. When we came out, we bumped into three blonde sorority girls. Lauren and Jessica came up behind them.

"Bella, Angela, this is Kate, Britney, and Chloe." She pointed to the three of them. They were dressed comfortably in designer sweat suits. Kate was the tallest with her hair up in a ponytail. Britney was medium height and looked more athletic than the other two, she smiled at me. The last girl, Chloe was shorter than me and she was texting furiously on her cell phone. She seemed nice enough. They all did. It was Lauren that I had the problem with. A fourth girl popped up behind Jessica and poked her in the side.

"Hey girlies!" The fourth girl giggled. She sounded so much like Jessica and looked similar too. I assumed this was her older sister I had heard about.

"This is my sister, Christina, Krissie." Jessica hugged her. Krissie looked at Angela and I and held out a hand for us to shake.

"You must be Angela and Bella. It's nice to meet you. Jess thought she was going to have the house to herself this weekend. She was wrong. My sorority sisters and I are crashing there too. I hope that's cool with everyone. I hear it's going to be a full house." I liked the sound of her. Jessica had nothing but praise for her older sister and now I saw why. She seemed smart and dignified. Jessica would no doubt follow her sister's legacy in the sorority.

Lauren soon spoiled my appreciation for the nice introduction. Big shocker.

"Hey, have you guys met the boys yet? I know you just got here, but you should really say hi before we get to the house." Lauren spoke as though she was in charge of the whole thing. She acted like she and the pack went way back.

"No we haven't, but I got a peak. Yummy!" Britney giggled.

"Here, I'll introduce you." Lauren grabbed Krissie by the arm and led the other four out of the shop to the Bronco where the boys lounged. I watched from behind the glass windows and was not surprised to find them all getting along. The girls were enjoying the muscle and the pack loved the cleavage. I didn't see Jacob and silently sighed in relief.

"I am going to go grab some snacks." I spoke up.

"Ok, I have to get some stuff too. I'll meet you outside." Angela responded.

I made my way through the aisles picking up things along the way and tossing them into my basket. Somewhere along the way I realized that I wasn't going to eat all of it and left the basket on the floor to be restocked. I headed for the beef jerky instead.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Jacob standing over the Beef Jerky rack. His massive frame blocked the whole shelf. I walked up swiftly and bend down, reached my hand under his arm and grabbed a bag of the peppered beef.

"Hey! You took the last one." He whined.

"So?"

"You're talking to me now?"

"Sort of."

"Good. I missed you."

"I'm sure you did."

"What is your issue with that Lauren girl? She seems nice." He smiled that annoying smirk that he seems to like doing.

_I'm sure you do. Any girl who will rub up on you has to be nice right? Gross._

"She just rubs me the wrong way….and she is totally into you." I knew he would be cocky about it.

"Really? She say anything good about me?"  
"Seriously? I am not talking to you about this."

"I can't help it that I am sexy Bells."

"You think you're so irresistible, don't you?"  
"I am. I think you know it too. Why else would you have kissed me?"

"You were the one to kiss me. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because I think you're jealous. Its ok Bella. Just admit it. You want me."

"I do not." I snapped back. I guess that kiss really had gone to his head.

I watched as the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile. "Whatever you say, Bells." He looked into my eyes and started to move forward towards me. I took a step back to match each one that he advanced towards me. "Have you been thinking any more about that kiss?"

I had to think about that for a second. I had been thinking of it more than I wanted to admit and I really didn't want him to know that I was. I couldn't help it that every time he came around, my heart jumped a little.

"You wish."

He chuckled a little bit and continued to move forward. I found my back pressed against the coolers behind me and he kept forward until he was inches away from my face.

"Admit it. You can't stop thinking about it. You want to kiss me again. I know you do. I know I want to kiss you again." He moved his arms so that one was on either side of my shoulders as he leaned in farther. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but then he turned at the last second to my neck. His breath was warm against my skin. I breathed in his scent, as he stood there pressed against me. He raised his face slightly so that his lips were dangerously close to my earlobe. He tickled it with his breath. "All you have to do is ask me." His lips grazed my earlobe and tingles shot through my body.

"Cut it out Jake." I playfully pushed him away and he obliged. I turned around and pulled a Coke out of the coolers. I began to walk away when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. He looked deeply into my eyes again and tucked a strand of hair behind my ears. I could feel his heart beating against my chest. His warmth was emanating through me. A part of me didn't want him to let go, but then he did. I stood there for a second just looking at him.

"Think about it Bells."  
I shook my head and turned to walk away. "Keep dreaming, lover boy." I laughed.

It scared me more than I knew to feel what I did, again. Why did this keep happening to me? I wasn't asking for him to tease me like that and I certainly wasn't doing it to him.

He was toying with my emotions. He knew that I was thinking about that kiss and he was using it against me. _Damn it Jake. Two can play that game._

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a/n: Sorry this one is kind of short. It was very fun to write. I love the sexual tension. I promise I will get the next couple chapters up as soon as possible. Look forward to some jealousy and bonfire sizzle. Love you all.


	11. Chapter 11: On the Road Again

A/N: Just a quick update- there was an error in the last chapter, they are staying at **Jessica's lake house** not Lauren's. Keep that in mind while you're reading, otherwise it will confuse you. Hope you enjoy. I added in some of the little requests by the readers :)

Jacob POV

The look on Bella's face was priceless. I couldn't have asked for anything better. She wasn't expecting me to push her up against the cooler. I had acted on a whim, and decided to go for it. The worst she could do was push me away, which she had done… after. She wanted to pretend she didn't feel it, but her body couldn't lie to me. The sparks between us were amazing, as I breathed in her scent. I could hear her heart beat quicken and skip when I nudged her ear with my nose. Her breathing had become more labored as she tried to deny her feelings for me. The sparkle in her eyes had told me what she was truly feeling. My plan had worked.

I was slowly getting to her, drawing her out of her shell. I was warming her all the way through, straight to her heart. Soon enough, she would come to the conclusion that she loves me back, and wants to be with me. Until then, I'll just have to be annoyingly persistent. It wouldn't be long before she would give in to her desire for me. I could feel the tension between us as I pressed my body up against hers. She was fighting any reaction from her body, and she hated it.

I loved how she pretended to be upset with me, and then go back to teasing me. She could be so irresistible when she played hard to get. I couldn't help but smile and shake my head when she said "keep dreaming, lover boy" with that sexy smirk on her face. She was playing into my game perfectly.

It was hard to keep my composure as I walked back to the car. She had really gotten me going. I knew I probably had a huge grin on my face. I kept replaying the image of pressing her body against the cooler. The feeling of having her that close to me, made it nearly impossible to back away. I wanted her so bad. I was glad that my lust for her was only visible on my face, and nowhere else on my body. It wasn't helping that she had put on those paint covered cutoffs. Those were my favorite pair of jeans she owned. When I saw them, I was instantly reminded of our paint fight. As she started to walk away from me, I could see the paint handprint on her ass pocket. It was slightly faded, but still very visible. I wonder if she forgot about that, I sure haven't.

When I finally got back to the car, the guys were packing mounds of more food into the back. Paul chucked me a soda, which I caught with my left hand, and I popped it open. I chugged it in less than a minute, and crushed the can under my feet. Bella was talking to her friends again, and Lauren was staring at me. If there was anyone who could make me feel awkward, it was her. I tried not to think about what Bella had said about her thinking I was hot. It wasn't the first time I had heard that, but it might have been for Bella. She wasn't used to hanging out with girls when around me, except for Emily and Leah. I hope it wouldn't make her more uncomfortable, to have one of her schoolmates talking about me. As long as it didn't bother Bella, I would be able to ignore it easily, but I didn't want this to be a problem. Bella had made her feeling for me clear, but I don't think she understood that I could never feel for anyone, the way I did when around her.

The Jessica came over to our car and gave Quil the next set of instructions. We would make one more stop before we would take the mountainous roads to the lake house. If we kept on schedule, we could be at the house by 8. We had made the plan to go out for dinner that night, if everyone was still up for it. I knew the pack would be starving, and it could be fun.

When Quil nodded to me, I got back into the car. I had my feet dangling out the side, while I waited for Bella. She looked especially good, although she really didn't need anything extra. She climbed up in the car and I settled in next to her. Soon, we were back on the road, staring out at the endless forest beside us.

Embry and Jared were talking about something with Bella, but all I could do was look at her. She looked like she was trying hard to avoid making eye contact with me. When Embry went onto his soapbox to lecture Jared, I leaned closer in to Bella.

"Still thinking about me?" I whispered, trying to tickle her ear as much as possible. I knew she liked that. She snorted at my comment.

"You wish." She still wouldn't look at me

"Yes, I do." I laughed. I saw a light go off in her eyes and then she said

"Quil, can I change the radio station? I don't like this song"

"Absolutely, princess." She laughed at his remark, but he was right. She was a little princess to us.

"Cool." She squeaked.

"Can you reach?" Quil asked

"Um, I think so…" She undid her seatbelt, and slowly leaned over the arm rest in front of her so that she was between Quil and Jared. She bent her knees and pushed her ass in my direction, as she reached for the radio. I watched her wiggled her hips slightly, as she played with the knobs on the stereo. I could feel my mouth drop as I took in the sight in front of me. I could hardly keep from grabbing her right then and there. She was driving me crazy, flaunting her amazing body, right in front of me. I bit my lip and let out a disgruntled sigh. There was no way she was naïve enough to be doing this merely by accident. I found myself crumbling under her spell. Where had her sudden confidence come from?

Quil laughed into the rearview mirror when he saw the expression on my face. Embry looked over briefly at her backside that was practically in both of our faces, when he noticed the handprint on the pocket. He shot me smug glance as he mouthed "nice". I hit him in the shoulder, but ultimately agreed with him. I leaned forward slightly and gently patted the handprint on her ass pocket. She snuck me a mischievous glance and turned back to the radio.

Once Bella had found a good station she sat back down and buckled herself up. She turned to me, making eye contact for the first time, and smiled smugly, then turned away again. She looked very proud of herself. If she was trying to get a rise out of me, then she was successful. I had to adjust my seated position so that my eyes didn't wander.

No one in the car spoke for at least ten minutes. We just listened to the music station that Bella had picked. Finally, Paul cleared his throat and tapped on Bella's shoulder from behind her.

"So, that Jessica chick, is she single?"

"Um, yeah…why?" She asked hesitantly

"Well, she's hot! Plus, I caught her staring at me" Paul answered

"Sure, go for it. Just know that she only talks about herself, and it can get a little…"

"Who said we were going to be talking?" Paul cut her off. Bella pretended to gag.

"Nice, Paul." Bella laughed. We all laughed along.

Bella was asleep within twenty minutes of our conversation ending. As much as I had loved her little stunt earlier, I loved her sleeping against me even more. She had slowly drifted into sleep and was leaning against my shoulder. When I was sure that I wasn't going to wake her, I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in tighter. Embry gave me a reassuring smile, like he was happy that I was happy.

I couldn't help but smile when I looked down to she her peaceful and content. I was on cloud nine when she whispered my name in her sleep. Quil looked back at me when he heard it. No one said anything; instead, they let me have my moment.

When we had reached the edges of town, I whispered in Bella's ear to wake her. She reluctantly got up and looked around.

"We're getting pizza. Are you hungry?"

"Yes!" She squeaked, not fully awake. She stretched and sat up more, wiping the sweat from her forehead. I guess sleeping in a car full of werewolves will do that to you.

***

We sat down at the endless table, La Push on one side and Forks on the other. Bella was on our side of coarse, and smashed between Quil and Embry. We ordered seven pizzas and ate them all. I was a little surprised to see that we all got along. Erik and Seth were in a epic argument about the better superhero, Tyler and Jared were arm restling (Jared was going easy on him, but Tyler was still very strong), and Bella was engrossed in a conversation with Angela and Mike. I merely talked to Leah and Quil who seemed to be bored with the other talking going on. Leah was in a bad mood, as always. I think she was anticipating the arrival of Sam and Emily.

We easily spent two hours eating and talking while watching the occasional sports game on the plasmas. When we were all through eating, Mike got up to get the bill from the waitress and Bella started cleaning up the trash. I whispered to Embry and Paul on my sides, and suggested that we pay for the pizzas. We had eaten more than half of them, and we were taking advantage of Stanley's lake house.

"Hey, Mike, dinner is on us. It's the least we can do for Jessica and you all for being so kind to invite us this weekend." I put two twenties on the table. Embry, Paul, Jared, and Quil followed. Leah took out the money for her and Seth, no doubt from their mother, and placed it on the table.

"Wow, really? I figured we would all just split the bill" Mike asked shocked.

"Yeah, my parents left me money for the weekend. I was going to pay, until Mike grabbed the tab," Jessica added.

"You are letting us stay with you for the weekend. Its really cool of you, especially since we don't know you that well."  
"That's cool. Any friend of Bella's is a friend of mine." Jessica smiled at her.

"Thanks. It's really nice of you, Jessica, you're so kind to let us stay. If you hadn't offered, we would be camping in the woods right now." We all laughed. They thought that camping was a horrible thing, but we laughed because they didn't know that werewolves were natural outdoorsmen.

"No problem. Speaking of the lake house, we should get going. I bet we are all tired right?" Mike spoke up.

"Yeah, I'm beat. Lets head in." Jessica suggested. She got up and her minions followed.

Lauren came up to me as we were walking towards the door. She hooked herself onto my shoulder and reached up to my face.

"That was really sweet of you to offer to pay. You're quite the gentleman, you know?" She pecked me on the cheek and continued onto her car. Her little acts of flirtation were starting to get old. I caught up to Bella and threw my arm around her. We walked back to the car and got in.

"What was that about?" She asked.

"What?"

"Lauren being all over you?"

"Oh, that, she was just telling me that I was a gentleman"

"Mhmm." She grunted a little bit and made a face she thought I didn't notice.  
"Oh come on Bells! That was nothing. She was just being nice" I nudged her on the shoulder, trying to lighten her mood.

"Whatever, forget I said anything" _Yep. I love it when she is jealous._

"Fine. Are you tired?" I said trying to let it go.

"A little. I thought the nap would help, but I haven't been sleeping well the last week."

"I'm sorry. You should try and get some sleep though. Tomorrow is going to require your full attention." I hoped that she would want to come out with us on the lake tomorrow. I was going to take Newton up on his offer to use the boat he was planning on renting.

"What are we doing tomorrow?"

"It's a surprise, but you are going to need to be wide awake."

"Can you give me a hint, I really wont be able to sleep if I am trying to figure out the surprise all night…" She gave me the pleading look that I loved.

"Water sports, Bells. What else would we be doing?"

"Right." She giggled.

Bella's POV

The lake house was beautiful. It looked like a cabin you would find deep within the woods. It had a huge wrap around porch that looked out across the jet black lake in the nighttime air. I loved the smell of the pines that lined the lake. It was amazing. There was a long dock, with a boathouse on one end.

When we got inside, Jessica showed us around the house. There was an enormous kitchen with a fully stocked fridge. There were several couches in the living room and a stone fireplace. There were five bedrooms and we would have to double.

I knew that her family had money, but I didn't know that they had this much. I should have known that she was a lake house person. Her tan was abnormal for a Forks vacationer.

"Ok, guys there are five bedrooms and four bathrooms. You can decide who to bunk with, but no girls on the couch, that's just rude. The couches over there pull out into beds. The leather one by the fireplace doesn't, but it's big enough to sleep on. The fridge is full of food, bathrooms are easy to find. Um, I think that's all I need to tell you. My sisters get my parents bedroom but everything else is up for grabs." She turned away from us and slung his bag across his shoulder. I looked around to find my roommate. Angela stood next to Ben, smiling politely. She and I could room together. Jessica was going to room with Lauren, Ashley, and Kate. Eric, Tyler and Ben would share a room. Jake, Quil and Embry were playing rock-paper-scissors for the last bedroom. Seth had claimed his spot on the pullout couch by the window. Paul and Jared chose the floor of the den. Leah was left looking alone and grumpy. I walked over to her.

"Leah, do you want to stay in our room? We will have plenty of room." Offering her the olive branch was the least I could do. I wanted her to like me. Surprisingly, she took it and nearly smiled at me.

"Yeah, thanks Bella. Knowing the guys, I would probably end up sleeping on the floor with Seth, yuck!"

Angela and I laughed as we walked back to our room. There were two beds, one full and one twin. Angela and I could share one and Leah could have her own. We had a big window that lead to the porch. The moon was streaming through the glass and it was beautiful.

I could hear the radio on in Jessica's room. She was probably unloading the truck of makeup that she brought in her bag. I could here a few scuffles from the living room. I had assumed that Quil and Embry were fighting for the last bedroom. Knowing Jake, he was being noble, and taking the couch.

I got out of my wretched clothes and slipped into a big t-shirt and cotton shorts. I stumbled out into the hallway to find the bathroom. There was one by the kitchen that I could use. Angela had snuck into the one Lauren was occupying but I wasn't ready to talk to her. I skipped across the stone floors to the bathroom. Jake was already in there brushing his teeth. I laughed at him. He had never looked younger than he did right then. He stood wearing sweats and nothing else, with a toothbrush in hand and minty foam dripping out of his mouth.

"What?" He gargled.

"Nothing, you just look different."

"That's because you are not used to seeing me before bed…" He finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth out.

"Are you on the couch tonight?"  
"Yup. I didn't want to wrestle for a bed. The couch is fine, it'll be better than my own at home"  
"I think it is time you and Billy retire that old sofa. Its older than he is!"  
"Probably." He chuckled and smiled his Jacoby grin. I loved that.

I brushed my teeth and he watched me. I wasn't used to people watching me when I brushed my teeth, or when I did other things. When I was finished I turned to him and gave him a sour face

"What are you staring at?"

"Nothing… is your breath minty fresh now?"  
"Mhmmm. Wanna check?"

"Ah, no thanks." He laughed. He left the bathroom so that I could finish getting ready. I washed my face and brushed my hair. When I opened the door, I saw Jake sprawled out across the leather couch, asleep.

"Jake?" I whispered as I tip-toed over to him.

"Yes, Bella?" He whispered back, with his eyes still closed.

"Nothing, I'm just going to bed. Night Jake."

"Night Bells, sleep tight." He cooed. I smiled at him and went back to my room.

I leaped into the bed with Angela and turned out the light. They were already trying to sleep when I had come in. I guess I had taken a long time in the bathroom. I found it quite easy to sleep in the peaceful mountain air. I didn't have nightmares and I was thankful. I was sure no one would invite me on another trip, if I had woken them up in the middle of the night with my screaming. Instead of my usual frightening dreams, I dreamt of swimming in the lake with Jake and my friends, having the magnificent sun shining down on my pale skin. I was thankful that these dreams were also PG. Nothing would be more embarrassing than having a repeat of my previous dreams, involving a certain best friend of mine…

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A/N: Ok, so what did you think? I want to keep going. I have the next couple chapters all drafted out. I love the enthusiasm and feedback I am getting. Keep it coming! If there is something you want to see happen, let me know and I will see if I can incorporate it. Keep reviewing, it honestly makes my day. I love you all so much. Thanks so much for the support.


	12. Chapter 12: Little Black Triangles

Bella POV

The sun was barely peeking though the curtains when I woke up. I knew it was early. I didn't want to wake anyone up. I wanted to be as quiet as possible leaving the room. The bed creaked a little bit as I got up. I put the blankets back and Angela rolled on to her other side and continued sleeping. The hardwood floors were cold as I tip-toed out the door and down the hall to the kitchen. I thought it would be nice to make breakfast for everyone. I stopped when I saw Jake passed out on the couch. I thought back to my dream. Jake had looked especially good in the dream lake water and I wondered if he would really look like that. He had planned to take me to do water sports, which I had never participated in before. I would probably embarrass myself in front of all my friends, by falling on my face or doing a belly flop. Then I thought of the terrifying black bikini I had brought. What was I thinking? I had had a temporary lapse in judgment when I packed that. There was no way I could leave the house wearing that. I did not look good in a bathing suit, unlike Jessica and her friends. They were tan and toned. I was straight and pale.

There is no sense thinking like that. I continued on to the bathroom and washed my face. After that I was more awake than before. When I got back to the kitchen I went to the fridge. It really was stocked with food. That was good. I had to make a ton of food for the pack, plus I had to feed all my friends. I couldn't make all this food by myself before everyone woke up. I went over to the couch where Jacob slept. He could help me make breakfast.

When I saw him sleeping there, he looked so innocent. He looked like my sixteen year old best friend; the cute and shy boy I had known since childhood. Although his face was sweet and gentle, the rest of his body was grown up. His stature was that of a grown man, his muscles large and sculpted. His body was the mere image of what Sam and the pack had turned him into. He had grown up so much since I met him, after his life had turned so drastically. The boy that I knew from my childhood was buried deep inside him and came out less frequently.

"Jake?" I whispered. He didn't move. I gently nudged his shoulder. "Jake?" I spoke a little louder. I saw a smile creep up on his face. All of the sudden, I felt a warm arm slink around my waist and pull me down onto the couch. Now he was laughing.

"Bella, if you missed me all you had to do was say so. You didn't need to sneak out here and spy on me" He joked. He was sitting up now and I was in his lap. I felt awkward sitting there, but I was warm and comfortable in his arms.

"I wasn't spying on you…" I insisted. He chuckled.

"That what they all say." He mocked. I popped up out of his lap and stood in front of him.

"You're going to help me make breakfast. Come on get up!" I urged. He groaned in protest. I reached behind him and grabbed his pillow. I smacked him with it and walked into the kitchen. "Seriously though, I need your help. I cant do this all by myself."

He got up from the couch and came to stand beside me.

"Jacob Black, reporting for duty." He saluted me and I laughed. I started to grab things out of the fridge; eggs, bacon, sausages, juice, and assorted fruits. I unloaded my very full hands onto the kitchen island and began sorting.

"Do you think this will be enough?"

"Definitely not." He said matter-of-factly.

Jake helped me make tons of food. I got plenty of toast, made all the eggs, sausage and bacon. We laughed when we talked about some of our previous cooking attempts as kids. He laughed my laugh and I loved it.

The first person to wake up was Jessica. She came waddling out wearing a pink matching tank top and PJ bottoms set. She yawned as she sat at the counter.

"Morning Bella. Hey Jacob!" She smiled when she looked at his bare chest. I had forgotten about his lack of shirt. "Aw, did you guys make breakfast? Yum." I saw her eyeing the toast and jam so I handed her a piece.

Angela and Leah came out of our room talking. It looks like they were enjoying the conversation when they smelt the food. They came over to the table. Leah looked over at Jake and then said

"God Jake! Put on a shirt already. Stop trying to show off, you really don't look as good as you think you do." She was always the bearer of bad news, but she was also hilarious. I laughed as he slunk over to his bag and pulled out a shirt.

"I don't really see the use anyways. We're gonna be taking our clothes off soon anyways." He looked over at me and smiled.

"What?!"

"When we go to the lake, Bella, duh."

"Oh, right, I knew that." I felt a little embarrassed that I had thought he meant something dirty. Where was my mind these days? Jake's chuckling made me forget my thoughts. He was always making fun of my humiliation, but I had to admit that it made me feel better. Ashley stumbled out of her room, with major bed hair and sat quietly at the table and began talking quietly to Angela. I got them each a plate of food and put them on the table.

"So, Bella, are you going to come water skiing with us? It will be so much fun." Jessica chimed. "Mike said we can use his dad's boat and Tyler brought the boards."  
"You are going to water ski?"

"Hell yeah. Lauren and Kate want to tan, but I came for the boarding" she laughed. It was like speaking to a whole different person. She was really different when she wasn't with Lauren. She was like the old Jessica that I enjoyed spending time with. The one who would hang out with me and surf with the boys. I hadn't seen her like this, since before Edward left and I stopped leaving the house. We had been awkward around each other since that night at the movies when I freaked out, but now I thought we could actually be friends.

"Um, sure, I'll go, as long as you guys help me out. I don't think I've ever done it before." I responded

"Absolutely. You might fall the first time, but after that its just plain fun!" She squealed.

"I like a girl who can ride with the boys." Paul grumbled from the corner. Jessica looked behind her to find a shirtless Paul, looking tall, dark, and handsome. She blushed.

"Morning Paul. Do you want breakfast? Bella is an excellent cook." She babbled. He looked proud of himself, making her nervous.

"Yeah, I know. She cooks for us with Emily sometimes." He smiled at me and I handed him a plate. There wasn't nearly enough food for him, but he could manage.

Quil and Embry walked down the hall followed by Seth, Ben and Erik. They seemed to run as soon as the food came into view.

"Help yourself guys. I just hope there is enough." I meakly called to the boys digging through the piled eggs and bacon.

"Bella! You're cooking? You didn't need to do all this." Mike said from the doorway of the kitchen. I hadn't noticed him come in since the werewolf boys were blocking my view of everything.

"It's no big deal. I was up early and I knew everyone would be hungry. Jake helped." I motioned to Jake who stood in the corner shoveling food into his mouth. Mike came over to me and wrapped his arm over my shoulder while he looked over the food we had made. He grabbed a plate and talked to Tyler about setting up the boat. They left for the boat house while we all ate. I didn't know this, but while I was sleeping in the car, they had taken a detour to latch the boat to the car and bring it to the house. Jessica's family already had jet skis.

Before long, Lauren and Kate came out of the bedroom. They looked made up already. Lauren just grabbed a piece of fruit and some milk and Kate copied her motions. They sat in the corner and did not talk. I found them rather dull when it came to conversation. Unless they talked about themselves or the newest boy band, they had nothing else to offer to the table. If Lauren wanted people to like her, she would have to listen to other people and stop thinking about herself all the time.

Jessica mingled with Paul. Embry, Quil, and Jacob were eating loudly off to the side. I sat down with Jessica, Angela, and Leah. We were all talking about what we wanted to do today. Jessica was the adventurous type. Angela wanted to relax in the water. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but Jake had promised me a good time. Soon enough, Mike was back and telling us to get ready.

_Crap. How am I going to pull of that black bikini I brought? I cant wear that around all the guys. And what about the water sports? I cant wear a skimpy bikini for that. What was I thinking packing that? I am so stupid._ I thought to myself.

"Ok, Bells. Go get dressed. I'll see you outside. Don't take to long though, the sun is already up and it's the perfect time to be out." Jake sounded excited. I think I looked stupid as I thought about the bikini.

"Is something wrong? You look distracted." He asked

"No, I'm fine. I'm going to go change. I'll just meet you on the dock, ok?"

"Yeah sure." I turned away from him and went to my room.

Angela was already changed into her floral one piece. It suited her. She looked really pretty in it. The purple in it made her eyes look brighter. Leah was wearing a bikini top and board shorts. She looked masculine on the bottom, but her top half was full and defined. She never wore tops to show off her feminine side, around me before, so it was surprising to see her like this.

"What are you looking at Swan?" She saw me staring at her boobs.

"Nothing, I just have never seen you like this before. That bathing suit looks great on you!" I had heard things about how beautiful she had been before she started phasing. Of coarse she was beautiful now, just not as girly as she had been before. No wonder sam had fallen in love with her.

"Thanks." She looked down at herself. She was exposing a whole different side of herself, to me. She was girly on the inside but never got to show it because she was a werewolf and spent all her time with guys. I liked seeing her shy and nice. If she would let me, I would like to be her friend. I know we could be close, if she would just let her guard down and trust me.

"Are you going to change into your swim suit Bella?" Angela asked. I turned around to face her. She was wrapping a towel around her body.

"Yeah, but I am a little embarrassed about it. I don't really wear them and it'll look really bad on me." I mumbled.

"Bella, it can't be that bad. What does your suit look like?" I reached into my bag to pull out the suddenly miniscule triangles and string that would have to cover my body. Angela looked a little shocked when I showed her.

"You brought a bikini? Good for you Bella. That'll drive Jake nuts!"

"It's the only one I have… and how did Jake get into this? You know that I don't feel that way about him…" I huffed. Leah decided to contribute her brutally honest opinion. I braced myself for whatever she was going to say.

"That's bullshit, Bella. Its obvious that you guys want each other, just admit it and get on with it already. Dragging it out is only making it more annoying for us to watch you two. You don't think I know that Jake has been looking for every excuse to touch you since we left?"

I stood there with my mouth open. She was being very honest, but maybe that was a good thing. When I didn't respond she continued.

"Bella, he hasn't taken his eyes off of you. Its almost sickening," she made a face. "but I guess its sort of cute." Maybe she really could be a good girl friend. "Now go put on the damn bikini. We don't have all day." She grunted and sat down on the bed.

I gathered it in my hands and walked across the hall to the bathroom. When I got inside I locked the door. I let my clothes fall to the floor. I stared at myself in the mirror for a second. I was really pale. I was skinny, but not toned in any way. My boobs were a good size, not small but not large either. Maybe the bikini wouldn't be so bad and I was just psyching myself out.

Jessica had entered the bedroom while I was changing so when I got back, she was sitting on the bed with Angela and surprisingly, Leah was there too. They all looked like they expected something. I had my bikini on and a towel wrapped around my body.

"Come on, show us!" Angela cheered. I hesitated and then I pulled my towel away from my body.

"Damn Bella!" I heard Jessica say. "You look hot! I didn't know you had curves. You actually have a nice ass." Jessica explained.

"Look at you! Oh my god!" Angela chirped.

"You look good, Bella. Jake is gonna flip." Leah added.

I suddenly felt better about the whole situation. I didn't think that I would get this reaction. I figured that everyone would look at me funny and lie to make me feel better. They look genuine and truthful. I smiled and blushed a little bit.

"You really think so?" I asked shyly.

"Definitely!" Angela reassured me.

When Jessica got up to check the tag on my bikini, I saw that she was wearing one too. Hers was a light blue and it looked great on her. Her legs were much more tan than mine and she had a belly button piercing. Her top piece was more low cut than mine, but she had done that on purpose.

"You look hot too, Jess. Trying to impress someone?" I felt like we were the two girls from last year and it made me feel good.

"I know, right. I was trying to look good for Paul, but I will have to cover up when we go boarding." She sighed. Leah looked disgusted by the Paul comment but she kept it to herself.

"Well, you look great and I know he will notice"

"Thanks, Bella. Are you ready to face the rest of the world in your new found body?" She teased while grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the door. I swallowed loudly in fear and whined in protest. It was too late and she was already pulling me down the hall.

Jacob POV

I was out on the dock with all the guys. It had taken us five minutes to change. Mike was on the boat trying out the engine. Tyler and Eric were helping Jared and Seth load the full soda cooler on board. I was trying to organize the ropes for the boards we needed for waterskiing. Quil had a handful of life jacket that he threw into the large speedboat. When I had the ropes untangled I handed them to Ben who politely took them on board.

I looked over to Embry who was staring at Leah. When I saw her I had to stare too. She was wearing a bathing suit. Not just a bathing suit, but a bikini top. It was weird seeing her like that. She was never girly around us. If any of us looked at her in the wrong way, we would pay for it for weeks. I thought back to when she was just another girl on the reservation who was in love with Sam and remembered her being like any other teenage girl. Ever since we changed I had started to see her as one of the guys. I felt bad about it, but it was hard not to. She was really strong and could _almost_ outrun me. But underneath all of her werewolf fur and masculinity, she was just another girl. She caught Embry and I, now along with Quil, staring at her.

"Eyes up top boys. Just because we are around normal people doesn't mean that I wont hamstring any of you for thinking what you're thinking now." She glared at each of us as we found other places to focus. She came over to me and smiled.

"Just remember to breathe, ok?" She almost laughed.

"What are you talking about?" I gave her a funny look. What the hell did she say that for? When she was about to answer, she looked behind her and sighed. Just then I saw what she was referring to. Bella was at the end of the dock walking towards me, wearing a black _bikini._

I knew what Leah had meant about the breathing thing. I suddenly couldn't focus on anything around me. It was as if I was caught in one of those slow motion sequences in a movie. Bella was walking timidly towards me and I couldn't help but let my mouth fall open.

The bikini looked AMAZING on her. The bottoms hung low on her hips and made her look slim. The top was skimpier than I thought it would be. It made a deep 'v' on her chest and tied at the end of two very thin straps. She had the perfect amount of cleavage showing so that it wasn't trashy or too concealed. My heartbeat speed up as she got closer and closer.

It was hard to keep a straight face around her when she looked like this. It was tempting to do something inappropriate to her. I had to push those thoughts away so that I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of her friends. She looked so sexy in that black, stringy bikini. I was in heaven as I continued to stare. I never would have thought that Bella would wear something that tiny but I was suddenly glad she did. She didn't even need to try and show off. She looked great in clothes and even better in this.

I felt my muscles tighten everywhere. Then I felt them tighten between my legs. _Shit!_ I tried to breathe deeply as she smiled at me. Looking at her smile had turned my rudely dirty mind into a sappy romantic who only lived to make his girl happy. At that moment I felt safer to approach her, without having a protrusion in my board shorts. Her smile solved all my problems.

"Bella! Nice bikini." I smirked and teased her. She blushed.

"Um, thanks." She looked down at her feet.

"Go on board, we are about to leave" I motioned the way for her and she turned to get on the boat. Then, when she turned I could see the backside of the bikini. There was only a small and very fragile looking tied string across her back holding up the top, with a tiny bow around her neck. The bottoms hung low in the back and framed her ass nicely. That feeling was coming back. I turned to face the guys and Leah was in my face.

"Need a _cold_ dunk, Jake?" She looked smug. I snorted and turned away from her. I felt two large arms around me and then I was falling into the cold lake water. Quil and Embry had pushed me in. They were probably repaying Leah after staring at her boobs. She looked happy as I popped my head above the surface.

"Better?" She called. I looked down at my shorts in the water and they were smooth. _Thank god, that would have been horrible_. _Bella really would have been blushing if she knew what she did to me with that damn black bikini._

I pulled myself on to the dock and got onto the boat. I sat next to Paul instead of sitting next to Bella. I didn't want to risk any other incidents. I was dripping wet and Bella was staring at me. _Here we go_.

___________________________

A/N: Two in one night!! Review and let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter 13: Here Come the Waterworks

Bella POV

The water was freezing as I lowered my body into it. I felt the Goosebumps raise up on my skin and the hairs stand up on my neck and shoulders, as I tried desperately to keep that part of me dry. I had watched everyone go out on the wakeboard and now it was my turn. To my surprise, Jessica dominated. Jake and Quil were definitely the best, but she had given them a run for their money.

I had wanted to skip the wakeboarding and just go on the inner tubes with everyone else, but they insisted that I do this. After a lot of pleading and teasing me, I agreed to go in, but only if they went really slow. There was nothing more embarrassing than doing a face plant in front of the shirtless Quileute boys. At least Lauren wasn't here to laugh at me.

Jake offered me a smile as they hooked my feet up to the board and handed me the rope. They boys were sipping beers and casually sitting in the sun. They looked happy and laid back. I, on the other hand, was scared out of my skin. I was bobbing in the water, about twenty feet behind the speedboat. Jake had fastened a life vest around my chest, which I think he was too excited about. Apparently, he had enjoyed the bikini. I wanted to pretend that he _fell_ in the water, when I first saw him, but with the looks that Leah, Embry and Quil were giving me, I knew there was a hidden meaning behind it.

"You ready, Bells?"

"You promise you are going to go slow?"

"Yes, we will go as slow as we can, but we will have to pick up some speed if you ever want to get up on the board." Jake called out to me. _Fabulous_.

I nodded ever so slightly and Mike turned to move the boat. I held on for dear life, hoping that I could be graceful at this one thing. When the boat was moving fast enough, I tried to remember what Jake had said about how to do this. I followed his instructions as he called them out to me.

"Remember your knees, Bells. You're doing good!" He encouraged me. I tried not to lose focus. I had gotten up on the board on the first try, thank goodness.

Like he had promised, the boat was going slow. They were being really nice to me; seeing as that it was my first time doing this. I was able to keep my balance and ride it out for a little bit before I could feel myself losing balance. Quil noticed a motioned something to Mike. Mike nodded and sped the boat up a little bit. I wanted to protest, but it was easier to ride the water when the boat was moving more. I let a smile slide across my face; this was fun.

I had been doing really well, when a bird came into view. It looked as though it would hit me, as its flight pattern seemed to be directly facing me. I closed my eyes, bracing for impact, and swerved to avoid hitting it. As it turns out, the bird was several feet above my head and was already turning before I tried to move. I found all this out from the water. My descent into the lake had been more graceful than was expected from me. I assumed that I would put on a show for those out on the water, by falling on my face or doing a belly flop. Instead I had just swerved, let go of the rope, and fallen backwards.

They were all watching of coarse, and instead of commenting on my failure to remain calm in the face of a bird, they congratulated me on my first wakeboarding experience.

"Wow Bella! For your first time, you were actually really good!" Jessica smiled as she pulled me from the water back onto the boat.

"That's what she said…" Quil joked. He thought I wouldn't hear, but I did, and I laughed with him.

When I was on the boat, Jake helped me catch my footing, and took the board from me. "I'm next." He grinned.

"You're going again?"

"Yep."

"He thinks he is better than me and I told him that he needed to prove it." Jessica explained. "Nothing like a little healthy competition."

"After this are we going to go inner tubing?" Seth asked enthusiastically.

"Sure. Sounds like fun, but first Jacob has to jump on the board"

"You're on!" he challenged.

I watched, as he got ready for the second round. I found myself watching him more closely as he lifted himself up onto the board and glided through the water. He looked especially good when he got sprayed with water. The board shorts he was wearing were hanging dangerously low on his hips and I bit my lip in response.

"See anything you like, Swan?" Leah teased. I knew she had been watching me stare. I felt embarrassed but at the same time, she was the one who had told me about Jake and his feelings for me. She was one of his best friends, and if she told me something that private about Jake, I knew it had to be true.

"You sure know how to pick them, Bella. Jacob is really a catch! He may get kind of cocky sometimes, but with that body, who wouldn't?" Jessica teased. "I just challenged him to another round on the wakeboard so that we could all look at him. I already know that he is way better than me." She confessed. Sure enough, Jake flipped on the board and made all of our mouths drop. Mine, mostly because he looked undeniably sexy doing it.

I joined Angela and Ben on the front of the boat while the guys were setting up the inner tubes. She was enjoying the sun, and like me, she was not the biggest fan of water sports. I sat down beside her and stretched out my legs. When the strangely shaped inner tubes were all set up, and the guys had taken their place on them, the game began.

Paul, Seth, and Tyler were all in a row and when the boat started, they would try and leap from one inner tube to another, until all three of them were on the largest one on the far left. This continued for twenty minutes. Each time, a new set of three would go out there. Five times out of ten, the tubes would flip and someone would end up doing a belly flop. I was in charge of the little orange flag, for when they fell off and into the water. Mike was directing the boat, but left Eric in charge while he tried tubing. Jared was snapping photos of the whole scene, while Jessica and Paul got to know each other on the side.

I wasn't sure how we all fit on that boat, but I was glad when we finally pulled back into the dock. I was starting to feel afraid that someone might bump into me and I would fall off of the boat. After all, it was far too crowded and someone as quiet as me would be hard to notice if lost. Thankfully, nothing like that happened and we returned safely.

Jessica told me that she was not close to being done for the day. It was only noon, when we parked the boat at the dock. She started running towards the boathouse to start up the jet skis. Angela, Ben, Eric, and Mike were the first to turn it. They went into the house, and made some lunch. I assumed the pack would be hungry when they got back; hopefully someone had gone shopping.

I could see Lauren, Kate, Britney, and Chloe all sun bathing in equally appealing two pieces. Christina, Jessica's sister came out to join us on the dock, eager and ready for the jet skis. The two girls got on the first one and jetted off. Jared took out the second one, and Mike took out the third. I wasn't feeling up for a ride just yet.

I found a dry spot on the side of the dock, far from the commotion at the end, sat down, and dangled my feet off the side. I looked down at the clear water below me and the mountain ranges behind. It was so peaceful and beautiful. When Jake made his way over to me, he sat down close to me and dangled his feet as well. We didn't talk for a moment, just taking in the scenery.

"I was so proud of you out there today! You did really well. You should have gone again. Did you have fun?"

"Actually, yeah. It was better than I thought it would be." I smiled at him. "Don't you just love the view? I could stay here forever and be content. Its nice to see the sun again." He didn't answer me and instead followed my eyes. When he stayed silent, I looked at him and continued. "I am really glad that you and the pack are here with us. It wouldn't have been the same. I would be so alone right now." I laughed a little to myself. "Lauren would probably have scared me into a corner or something. I guess I just feel more confident around you…"

I saw a strange glint in his eyes. He turned to face me and looked, _really_ looked into my eyes.

"Bella, I'm in love with you. I have been for a while and I am pretty sure that I always will be. I know that we're friends, but I cant help it. Everyday that I get to see you, I find myself smiling. The pack loves you and you've really become part of the family. I was just thinking about how nice it is to be here with you now, and how I don't want this feeling to ever go away."

I sat there and stared at him. I could feel my lips curl up into a smile, but I couldn't make words come out. I shouldn't have been smiling, because at that moment I realized that I couldn't say anything back. It was true that my feelings for Jake had gotten stronger over the past few weeks, and everything around me was pointing to it. As much as my mind wanted me to give in to this newfound adoration, there was something holding me back. Edward.

I couldn't forget about him no matter how hard I tried. When I thought of all the good things that Jake could bring, I just remembered all the things that I wanted with Edward and would not get to have. Just remembering the pain he caused me, made my recent smile drop. When he saw this he turned his face. It was like a slap, which he was recoiling from. I wanted to reach for him and tell him that I wasn't upset about what he had said, but I couldn't.

Edward's pull on me was still too strong. No matter what I tried to do, I still loved him and wanted him back. I knew he was gone, and probably never going to return, but that didn't stop me. Jake had been really good at helping me temporarily forget all the things that had conspired between the Cullens, and me but now it was coming back.

I had been foolish to think that this past week or two would go without some sort of ramifications. I was wrong in kissing him and thinking all the immature hormonal things these past few days. I shouldn't have encouraged him. I wasn't sure what had gotten in to me, but now I was paying the price for it.

"Jake…" I started. I watched him lower his head in anticipation. It was as if he knew I was about to break his heart and he was somehow trying to prevent it. If it were up to me, I would accept Jake's heart willingly, but as fate would have it, I was not allowed to be happy. Sadly, if I couldn't be happy, then it meant that Jake would have to suffer too and that almost killed me.

"Jake, it makes me so happy to hear you say that…"

"But?"

"But, I just can't say it back. I can't feel it back. I want to be able to let go of everything that has happened and return your feelings but I cant. I love you, Jake. You have been such an amazing friend, and so supportive when I really needed you. I take so much pride in thinking that I somehow became a part of your family with the pack. I love how you can always make me smile and how deep down inside, you are still that dorky teenager I reconnected with. I love so much about you, but I'm just not in love with you…I'm sorry." It was my turn to lower my head. I felt like I just delivered a bomb to him, and somehow disassembled his heart. I could feel the weight of my words beating down on him as he took a breath and thought up his next words.

"Bella, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I know I can make you happy and protect you, just as good as he could…" I could feel myself cringe. He knew. "Don't try and tell me that this isn't about him, because it is. I know that you think about him and I know that's why you insist that you can't love me. What is it Bells that makes him so much better than me? I'm good for you, Bells. Way more so than he was."

"I know you did, Jake. I will never be able to repay you for what you have done for me, honestly. It was the darkest time in my life and you put the sun back into my life."

"So…?"

"But I just can't let him go. I know you hate me for it and I am truly sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't think I will be able to get over him. He was my first love, Jake. You don't forget that."

"Tell me about it." He muttered.

"I'm sorry." I knew immediately after I said it, that those were the wrong words to say. I could see his face go from hurt to anger.

"He left you Bella and now you sit here telling me how you still love him. How is that possible? I was helping you, and you were doing so well. The color was coming back to your face and you were smiling. Can you honestly tell me that you would give all of this up? If Edward and the Cullens came back, would you leave me and go back to him?" He was standing now and shaking a little. He still sounded hopeful in his voice, like I could say 'no' and forget this whole thing happened. A part of me wanted to do just that, then run into his arms, but again I was conflicted.

I thought carefully about what I would say. We both knew my answer, but he needed to hear me say it. Slowly I raised my eyes to meet his and whispered

"Maybe."

He was fuming now, and his body was shaking uncontrollably. I knew that this shaking meant he wouldn't phase, but that he was angrier than he should be. He realized this and the vibrations slowed.

"It was fine when you didn't love me back and wanted to stay friends. But now you tell me that you're still waiting for the heart-breaking bloodsucker to come back and sweep you off your feet! How could you do this to me Bells?" Before I could answer, he had turned his back to me and begun to walk away. I scrambled to my feet. "I can't keep waiting for you. I'm not going to be the pathetic friend, waiting for the girl of his dreams to love him back. I refuse to be in love with a girl who cant get over an ex who left her to die." He spat. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"Jake!" I called after him. He spun around so fast it was almost as if I was just blinking.

"What would you possibly have to say to me now?" He hissed.

My voice was barely inaudible. "Does this mean you don't love me anymore?"

He looked down at me and his eyes softened slightly. I could see that most of the anger had boiled off and he was just left with a lot of sadness.

"I'll love you forever Bells, but right now I just cant be around you…it's too hard for me." When he turned around for the second time, he didn't turn around. He kept walking until he got to the house, passing the girls in their bikinis, who had witnessed the whole thing. He disappeared into the house. Soon after him, Quil and Embry made their way down the dock, pausing briefly to look down at me. I was pathetically crumpled, with my knees to my chest, crying. Embry rubbed my back once, and went to follow Jake with Quil in tow.

I watched where they had disappeared to, half expecting him to come back out, but he never did. I sat on the dock for a while until Seth came waddling up. He had a huge smile on his face and I assumed he hadn't overheard.

"Hey Bella, what's going…oh my gosh are you crying?"

I nodded and he lowered himself to be at my level.

"What happened?"

"Jake and I had a fight and he left." I coughed.

"I'm so sorry. I know you will work it out, though. It seems like no matter what, he always needs to be around you." He smiled. I frowned in response remembering Jake's words.

"Something tells me that he doesn't want to ever be around me again."

"You don't mean that. Here, I'll go get Leah. She can help better than I can." He trotted off to go find his sister.

When she came back, Jessica was with her. They had done some bonding while I was stuck here. Leah helped me off the ground and led me to the house. Jessica was complaining about how inconsistent guys were, but I wasn't listening. All I could do was replay everything that had just gone on.

_What had I just done?_

________________________________

_A/N: I know you probably hate me right now, but I needed to throw in some drama. The next chapter is gonna be kinda the same, but I promise there are some shocking points coming up. Let me know what you think and I will update as soon as I can type. Love you all!_


	14. Chapter 14: Tell Me About It

Jacob POV

I wasn't sure quite where I was going; I just needed to get away from the house and away from Bella. I didn't stop moving until I was far enough away that I couldn't smell her sweet strawberry scent anymore.

I had finally told her how I had been feeling. I told her that I love her and she told me she loved him still…

I knew that there was a big possibility that that would happen, I just didn't think about how much it would hurt. They were sure right when they say that love sucks the life right out of you.

I didn't want them to follow me, but they did anyways. I wanted to hate them, but they were great friends and I knew I couldn't even if I tried. Embry and Quil insisted on following me through the dense forest around us. Of coarse they didn't know where I was going either, but still they walked on.

I kept going until the path I was trekking, met up with the water again. I had made it about a quarter of the way around the lake and could see the house in the distance. When I got to the opening in the trees, I sat down on one of the rocks and looked out at the water. I heard Quil and Embry stop behind me.

"How much did you guys hear?" I asked them. I had known they were in hearing distance of the conversation Bella and I had. They must have been curious. I had also known that Embry went up to Bella afterwards. I could smell her on his hand and it agitated me to no end.

"All of it. Do you want to talk about what happened?" Embry added.

"What more is there to say? I told her I loved her. Instead of saying anything back, she basically told me that she wanted Cullen back."

"Its good that you told her. At least now she knows." Embry commented.

"So what if she still likes Cullen? He isn't coming back. When she realizes that, she's gonna remember how she feels about you" Quil added.

"So I am supposed to be second best forever?"

"No that's not what I meant. I just think that maybe it's too soon for her. It's only been a couple months. She obviously has feelings for you, but she just hasn't gotten over the leech yet. Give it time." How much longer did everyone want me to wait for her to forget him?

"Quil, she said she would go back to him!" I practically screamed at him. I could feel myself shaking. I was standing now and pacing slightly.

"Calm down, man. Don't rip my head off."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to freak like that."

"It's ok…what else did she say?"

"That she loves me but isn't in love with me." Her words all revolved around 'best friend' not 'love interest'.

"See, she does love you. And don't forget that steamy kiss I walked in on. That had to mean something. Plus all those signals she has been giving you…"

"Yeah, Bella doesn't know what she's talking about. She's just conflicted."

"I don't think so. She was pretty adamant about me being her _friend_ and nothing else." I ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't see how so much stress could come from one tiny girl. "I hate this." I grunted pulling on my hair and sighing.

"Life was so much easier when girls had cooties." Embry laughed.

"I don't know what you guys are talking about. I was always into the girls."

"We know, Quil." I tried to laugh back. I remember the first time Bella met the both of them and he tried to hit on her. What a dork.

"Screw this. I am not going to be whining all night. If that's what Bella wants, then fine."

"What?"

"If she wants the bloodsucker then I don't need to be here pouring my heart out to her. I have better things to do." I announced, feeling a sudden epiphany.

I didn't need to have Bella to make me happy. If she didn't want to be with me, then I didn't need to pine over her. It felt like I had wasted too much time doing that already. There were plenty of girls who could replace the void that Bella had left in my heart. If she needed to be just friends, then that is what she would get. No more special attention or flirtation. Nothing more than what _friends_ were allowed.

"That's what I am talking about. Just let it go." Quil bowed his head.

"Exactly. It's not like I imprinted on her or anything anyways." I shrugged and started off in the direction of the house. They followed.

"You want to have a bonfire tonight. Lighten the mood. You can make up with Bella and we can all have a good time."

"I don't want to make up with Bella." I answered. It was true. I wasn't ready to talk to her yet. I wasn't going to ignore her, but I definitely wasn't going to go skipping up to her and wrap my arms around her.

"Jake, don't you think you're being a little bit harsh. I mean, think about it from Bella's perspective. I want to upset you, but I care about Bella too and I think that you are blowing this slightly out of proportion." Embry explained.

I turned to face him and cocked my head to the side. Why did he always have to be the voice of reason? I was content with letting everything slide and enjoying the night, but he had to come in and get psychological on me.

"Embry, I put my heart on my sleeve and she ripped it up and handed it back to me. How exactly am I the harsh one?"

He didn't answer and simply looked at the forest floor. I sighed.

"I don't want to fight with you too. Are we cool?" I asked, extending a hand to him. He smiled and took it. We shook and hugged then backed away from each other. "Now lets get some booze!" I hollered. Quil got an ecstatic expression on his face as he called back

"Hell yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!"

Embry and I turned to each other and had a good laugh. We headed back to the lake house and jumped into Quil's Bronco.

First destination: liquor store. There was no conflict in getting alcohol for us. We were large enough not to get carded, and most of the security guards were too afraid to take us on. At the local shop on the reservation, they just let us have it. I suppose they figured we were mature enough to have it, since we were holding the big responsibility of risking our lives to save our people. A couple years ago, we would have gotten smacked if we tried to steal any alcohol. Now they just let us pay and leave without saying a word. On the occasion that I really needed a drink, the women waitresses were more than happy to give me one. Secretly they hoped that I would ask for their number, which I never did. I laughed to myself thinking at their possible reaction at finding out I was only 16.

We made it in to town in around ten minutes, speeding through the winding mountain roads. There was no one else out which made commute time shorter. There weren't many stores on the two street downtown, but we found the liquor store easily.

I got funny looks when I came through the door, followed by two also very large guys. We scanned the aisles and collected what we needed. The Bronco was already filled with beer, but we wanted something stronger. Vodka, Whiskey, and a bottle of Tequila. The girls would have fun with this. On top of that, we picked out some junk food snacks and candy. When we got to the counter, we weren't asked for ID and we paid quickly. We got back in the car and drove back, holding the magic ingredient for a good party.

***  
Bella POV

"He's stupid, Bella." Jessica calmly said handing me another tissue. I wiped my nose for the thirtieth time and sniffled a little bit. Angela, Jessica, Leah and I were all curled up on the couch. I felt oddly girly talking about boy problems with actual friends, but I liked it.

"It's my fault though. I shouldn't have kissed him and I shouldn't have led him on the way I did. I knew something bad like this would happen eventually. It was only a matter of time…"

"Wait! You kissed Jake?" Jessica squealed. _Oops, I guess I forgot to tell her that_.

"Yeah. I was just so caught up in all the stuff that he does. If you haven't noticed, he walks around without a shirt, and then there were those dreams….oh my god! I am a horrible person!" I threw my head down into the pillow in my lap.

I had royally screwed all of this up. He wasn't going to talk to me ever again. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I still have to think about Edward?

"Ok, back up, Bella. I am so lost!" Jessica huffed.

"Yes, me too. Can you explain what the dreams are?" Angela asked politely. I guess I was in too far now.

I told them about the dream I had, but downplayed the craziness of it all. It didn't keep them from exchanging knowing glances. Leah just sat there with an amused grin on her face.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Leah, come on. Tell me." I pleaded.

"Its just that… I am so used to hearing Jake and the guys think about their dreams. Its funny to heard about it from you too. Especially since yours and Jake's are so similar."

"They are? What does that mean?"

"It means he can't get you out of his head." I sighed overly loudly and then dropped back onto the pillow.

Great, now I felt really bad. Knowing that I was the center of his dreams only intensified the guilt of breaking his heart. Angela rubbed my back.

"We all knew that he loved you, Bella." Leah added.

"Not helping, Leah." Angela nudged.

"Sorry. Listen, Bella, Jake is an asshole if he can't accept your honesty. All you were doing was trying to tell him how you really felt. He can't expect you to get over Edward so quickly." Leah explained.  
"He can't stay mad forever. I am sure that when he gets back he will feel bad about this whole thing. You guys are best friends and I find it hard to believe that he can stay mad at you for longer than he already has. You two were inseparable since you met. I should know; you never wanted to hang out with us anymore." Jessica nodded to Angela who smiled in agreement.

"We'll see." I grunted.

"Jess? Where is the key to the garage?" Chloe called from the screen door. "The guys offered to take me, Brit and the other girls out for a ride on the ATVs but we cant find the keys."

"I'll get them, hold on." Jess jumped up and ran across the room, still in her bikini. We all laughed at her.

The phone rang with an intensity that I had never heard before. It made my ears ring and the receiver shake.

"Dang! Why is that ring so loud?" I shouted over it.

"Mr. Stanley keeps it up really loud for when Jess and her brother spend the day outside. They need to make sure they can hear it when they are out on the dock." Angela described.

"You can hear it from across the lake." Leah groaned.

"Should I answer it? Maybe it's Jake…"

"Go ahead Bella. If you don't, it'll just keep ringing."

"OK." I ran to the phone on the counter, plugging my ears in the meantime.

"Hello? Jake is that you?" I answered frantically.

"Bella? This is Sam."

"Oh, hi. What did you need? Wait, how did you get this number?"

"Jacob gave it to us in case we needed to get in touch with the pack. What are you doing answering the phone?"

"Well, Jessica is helping her friends, Jake left the house with Quil and Embry, and everyone else is either on the boat or the ATVs."

"Oh, ok. I just needed to get in touch with Paul and Jacob. Do you know where they are?"

"Nope." I tried not to sound to angry about it, but I guess I wasn't very convincing. "Jake stormed off after we had a fight. I don't know when he will be back either, sorry."

"Hmm, well I suppose we could stop by, on the off chance that he is there."

"Wait, you're in town?"

"Yes. Emily wanted to take a little vacation. We're staying at the motel in town."

"Emily is with you?" I sounded too excited to hear that she was with him. If anyone could help me solve the Jacob problem, it was her. He trusted her opinion and she was so good at fixing problems.

"Yes. I believe she would like to see you. Would you mind if she came along with me?"

"No. I would love it. I actually need to talk to her. Come on by whenever you can. I can't guarantee that the guys will be here but you can still try anyways."

"Fine. We will see you soon, Bella."

"Ok, bye."

"Wait. One last thing…"

"Yes?"

"Is Leah there with you?"

"Yes. She is right here with me." I looked back to the couch where Leah was and found that it was empty. I could see her walking around outside with Angela and Ben. "Or at least she was."

"Ok. Bye Bella."

And then he hung up.

I wanted to say that his asking for Leah surprised me, but I couldn't. I knew that he would need to know if she was here. Tensions were still high between the two of them as much as I would love there not to be. I knew they still loved each other very much and it killed them to have to be this way with each other.

What was it that Sam needed to talk to Jacob and Paul about? They were the strongest in the pack, and technically his seconds (if there could even be two of them). I hoped more than anything, that it didn't mean business, but when did it not involve business? No one could even take a vacation without worrying about the posing threat of vampires. It had been a couple weeks since they had caught Victoria's scent. Was it possible that she had followed us? No. Jake or the rest of the pack would have been able to tell.

"Bella, are you done with the phone? I need to order some pizzas." Britney looked at me and motioned to the phone.

I refocused my gaze to look at her. She was very pretty, with platinum blonde hair hanging loosely around her shoulders. She was wearing a pink, terrycloth dress and flip-flops. I smiled at her, surprised that she knew my name. She had been polite too, not taking advantage of my spacing out, to make fun of me.

I handed her the phone and started to walk out of the kitchen. Then I turned back to her. "What are the pizzas for?"

"Jared mentioned something about wanting to have a bonfire tonight. He says they have them all the time in La Push. I thought it was a fun idea, so I told Jessica and Lauren about it, and they just flipped. So next thing you know, here I am, ordered a mountain of pizzas for the boys." She giggled and opened up the shelf to her right to pull out a phonebook. I shouldn't have judged her for hanging out with Lauren. She seemed like a nice girl.

"That sounds nice. Where is everyone else?"

"Seth took the girls on the ATVs and Mike and Tyler are having a water fight."

"Ok, thanks." She nodded at me and then pressed seven numbers into the phone's keypad.

I went back to the back deck to find Angela and Ben curled up on a lawn chair, Leah drinking from a water bottle in the adjacent chair, and Eric chatting away about the latest computer software he had. I sat next to Leah and listened to Eric go on and on.

Jessica and Paul came back from the ATV ride about half an hour later. She was giggling and all smiles. He was looking as cocky as ever carrying the helmet in one hand and pushing his hair back with the other. She was practically fawning over him.

Seth was closely following the pair of them, watching Jessica intently. I don't think anyone else was watching them like I was and I wondered if they knew. I could tell that Seth had a thing for Jessica, the nice version who could beat boys at wakeboarding. I also knew that Jessica was crushing on Paul. Finally, I knew that Paul only considered Jessica a 'hot piece of ass'. It was funny how things worked out sometimes.

When Lauren came up the stairs to the porch, she avoided me. I knew just as well that she didn't want to talk to me. I didn't want to talk to her either. I settled for continuing my people watching, while she talked about hair and nails with Kate. Kate was trying to listen to Laurens riveting conversation, but was too preoccupied watching Jared. _How cute_.

I was relieved when the doorbell rang. Everyone was expecting a pizza, but when I saw Leah get up and leave thirty seconds before the bell sounded, I knew it wasn't food at the door. It was Sam and Emily.

I rushed out of my seat, pulling Jessica and Angela with me to meet them. I wanted Emily to meet my Forks friends and vise versa. They were more than willing to oblige. I pulled the heavy door open to find Emily with a casserole dish and Sam looking stiff and huge behind her. She smiled really big when she saw me and handed the dish to Sam as she came to hug me.

"Bella! Its good to see you again!" She cooed as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Hi Emily. Its good to see you too." I pulled out of her grasp and turned her to face the girls. They were staring at her scars, but quickly averted their gaze before she noticed. "This is Angela and Jessica. Jessica has been extremely kind in letting us all crash here at her house for the weekend."

"I'm Emily Young. It's very nice to meet you both. I have heard nothing but good things." She hugged both girls, astounding them a little bit, and flashed them her amazing smile.

"My name is Sam. I hope these 'boy' aren't being too much trouble. I know they appreciate the time off from… work." He introduced himself to Jessica, stepping into the house. "Emily brought this seven layer dip for you. Where can I put it?" He asked politely, feeling slightly out of place in the new surroundings.

"On the counter in the kitchen is fine." Jessica pointed the way and he followed. "Emily and Sam, you are welcome to stay here. We are going to have a little bonfire and there will be food and music. Any friend of Bella's is a friend of mine." She offered.

"That would be lovely. Don't you think so Sam?" Emily asked. I could feel the tone in her voice, like she was hoping to receive the invitation.

"Ok, Sam, Jared, Paul and Seth are in the back if you need to talk to them. I don't know where anyone else is." I sighed. He nodded, bent down to kiss Emily's cheek and proceeded to the crisp spring air.

"Bella, we are going to go back outside." Angela said to me.

"Fine. We'll be out in a little bit."

She nodded and they went back the way Sam had.

I turned to Emily. She put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards a more private place to talk.

"Ok, tell me about Jake…"

* * *

A/N: Things will get better I promise, but before then, I have to cause some drama. Two in one day!! Yay. I'll try and do that again. You have all been so patient with me. I am so sorry that I didnt update for such a long time. I hope I am making up for that a little bit...Thank you so much for believing in my story. I promise I will update soon. Until then I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I love you all!

~bearhuggemm


	15. Chapter 15: Thanks for Showing Up

Bella POV

I started from the beginning and told Emily everything. I explained the dreams I had had (I left out the graphic details), the fun we had while painting, all the flirting, and then finally the fight we had. I tried to explain the feelings I was having towards Edward and how his presence was still very strong in my heart. It was hard to put it into words. I didn't freely talk about the hold he still had on me, very often. It barely made sense to me; I didn't expect her to understand.

Even if she didn't, she nodded and smiled at me supportively when I had finished. I was crying again, letting the remaining tears fall before wiping them away. It was getting darker outside as the sun moved closer to the horizon. She and I were laying in the room Angela, Leah and I had shared last night. I was under the covers of the bed and she was beside me.

"Bella, how do you honestly feel about Jake?"

"I know I love him. He is such an amazing guy and I can't not have him in my life now. I feel so good when I am around him, I just don't know if I can give him my whole self."

"I understand. Do you think you are holding back because of your feelings for him or your feelings for Edward?"

"I don't understand." I scrunched my brow and looked at her.

"What I mean is, do you think you are punishing yourself for loving Edward still? Is that why you can't give Jacob your heart?"

"Maybe. I just feel like Edward has a part of my heart that I cant let go of. I want to move past it but I cant. It hurts when I think of everything we had and how it's all gone now."

"I know it's hard for you, Bella. I don't think Jacob can understand that and I think that is why he reacted the way he did." She rubbed my arm gently as she continued to speak. "You need to talk about this with Jacob and let him know how you feel. I am sure that he understands that you love him, if that wasn't already obvious. He just needs to know why you cant be with him."  
"I want to. I don't want him to be mad at me and I know that in time I could really love him the way he deserves. But what if it's too late? What if he is too mad about the Edward thing and he doesn't want to talk to me?"  
"That's crazy talk. He loves you and he will talk to you."

"Thanks Emily. I really appreciate you being here for me."

"You're family Bella and we love you. We are all going to be here to support you no matter what is going on with you and Jake. You can call me any time you need to talk or just come on over. We can have girl time. I spend all my time with the pack and its nice to have another girl around. Don't think that just because you are Jake are fighting, that you can't spend time with us. I know Quil and Embry are very fond of you too."

I smiled. It was nice to know that I wasn't just a friend of Jake's and maybe their friend too. Spending time with the pack had brought a new sense of humor and lightness to my life. When we were not plagued by the threat of vampires, I enjoyed hanging out with them. Going to the beach, eating at Emily and Sam's, and having yet another bonfire were some of my favorite things to do. On top of that, drinking warm soda in the garage with Jake was my favorite. I had come so far from the shell of a girl I was months ago. I was laughing and smiling. I didn't want this to have to go away because I couldn't get over Edward.

There was no denying it, Jake was right. He had said multiple times that he was good for me, and that he could make me happy. I believed him, knowing that on multiple occasions, he had done so. He pulled me out of the water and warmed me from the inside out. He was a crucial part in my life now and I was hopelessly dependent on his presence. Jacob was my sun, now and forever. I knew that it was hard for me now to admit my true feelings for him, but I was not going to give up on them. If it took a month, if it took a year, I would get over Edward and I would show Jake that I cared about him and needed him.

***

Emily and I went back out to the public shortly after we finished our talk. I told her about my revelation about Jake and I. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, in admitting to myself what I really needed.

Sam was talking to Paul as they set up the bonfire in back, when we walked up to join them. Emily curled herself under Sam's large arm and he kissed her forehead. It was almost hard to watch them so openly show affection to each other. They were so dedicated to each other, in every way. I felt like I was intruding when he would look deeply into her eyes.

Whenever I saw Sam and Emily, I always thought of Leah. I wanted them all to be happy, but I knew it would take more than an apology to change Leah's opinion of them. For Sam and Emily, their love was strong and predestined. The imprint had full control over what had started out their love. Leah had been with Sam before his transformation and could have, in no way, prevented this from happening. She was a victim through this whole twist of fate. My heart went out to her. She had lost the one man she had ever truly loved. As much as I loved Emily, I found myself wondering what Leah and Sam were like as a couple, and how things would be different if they still were.

Leah was carrying a huge burden with her. She had the weight of Sam's alpha command to keep her from being independent. On top of having the whole pack and Sam in her thoughts and hearing theirs, she was the only girl. This had never happened before and no one could explain why _she_ was the one to phase. When she lashed out, it was from hurt and confusion, not from malice.

"Excuse me a minute. I am going to go find Leah." I excused myself. I noticed Sam's eyes flash up to mine. Emily patted my shoulder as is she knew what I was thinking about. I knew that one day, Leah and Emily would be able to reconnect; I would make sure of that.

She was filling up the cooler with sodas. Shockingly, she was talking to Britney. When I approached they looked at me.

"Hey Bella." They said simultaneously.

"Hi. Do you need any help?" I offered.

"We just need to put the pizzas into the oven and put out the rest of the food. Christina and Jessica picked up a ton of stuff."

I went into the kitchen; Christina and Chloe were putting pizzas into the large oven. I slid right in and helped put chips and dip into bowls. We were chatting about nothing in particular when a large booming voice interrupted us.

"Ladies!"

It was Quil. He was carrying the cooler from the back of the Bronco and Embry was holding a bag of hard liquor. They were finally back. I didn't see Jake behind them, but I found myself holding my breath anyways.

"Look what we brought! Now we can really get this party started." Quil laughed. He walked out to the back to put the cooler by the grill.

"Hey Quil, we have a second cooler in the game room if you want to split them up."

"Alright, will do." He turned and went into the game room. Embry turned towards me.

"Hey Bella." He nodded his head lightly as a peace offering. He as well as I wanted to stay friends. He was a great friend for Jake and had shown kindness towards me too.

"Hey Embry."

We didn't say anything past that. He continued on through the house and talked to the other guys. Jake walked in next. He didn't even blink as he passed me, keeping his head forward and his chest high. He wasn't ready to talk to me.

"Well well. Look who decided to show up." Leah mocked as he passed her, nearly bumping into her shoulder. "Hey, you don't have to be a jerk." He faced her and made a annoyed faced. "Sam wants to talk to you." She spat and came over to me.

We exchanged glances and she rolled her eyes.


	16. Chapter 16: Just Adding to the Fire

Jacob POV

I admit that it was rude to just pass by Bella like that, but I couldn't face her just yet. I wasn't about to spend the whole night away from the house, so eventually I had to return, but when I did I couldn't go and talk to her. Everyone wanted me to, except Quil who was trying to encourage me to wind down a little bit. Embry was pushing me to fix things with Bella because he always liked her for me. If that wasn't enough, now Emily was here and was no doubt disappointed in me AND Leah was also on Bella's side. Doesn't anyone think I deserve to be a little bit broken up about this? I put myself out there and got turned down.

Sam agreed with my choice to give myself space from Bella. He had said on numerous occasions that he liked Bella, but I knew his reasons for coldness. He didn't want me to fall for Bella too hard with the chance that I might imprint. If anyone knew the ramifications of imprinting while in love with someone else, it was Sam. He didn't want me to go through the same thing. In fact, he had given me a way out of this whole situation. When I went up to talk to him, he looked stern and stiff as always. Paul was with him and I knew it meant business. The other guys were goofing off. Seth was playing with the Forks nerds and making googly eyes at Jessica. Jared was flirting with one of the other girls I didn't know, and Quil and Embry were making nice with Bella.

"Jacob, its good that you are back. Emily wanted to take a little vacation and I am glad we were still able to meet up. Paul and I have been discussing the current situation with Victoria."

Of coarse she has to come up just when we think we might get a little break.

"I hate to do this, but I feel like it would be better if we had some of the pack back in La Push. Emily and I are heading back tomorrow to keep an eye on things. I feel nervous having everyone so far away from home when we still don't know where she is. We haven't caught another scent, which is strange, but that doesn't mean she wont try and strike again."

"I know, Sam. The last time we saw her she was heading out of town. Do you think she would try something while Bella is not there? Like a distraction?"

"Its not clear what exactly she wants except for revenge. It wouldn't be such a big issue if we just knew what she was planning. That is why I want to make sure that the pack stays regular on patrols. We have a duty 365 days of the year."  
"Ok. I can go back with you if you need it. We were just going to head out tomorrow night anyways. What's another day?"  
"I understand that you and Bella got into a little friction, at least that is what Emily tells me. Don't run from this because you are trying to hide from working it out."  
"I'm not and it's none of your business." I snapped. Paul snorted at me and I turned my back on them.

I suppose they were right about running away from working it out. I didn't want to have to have the talk with Bella that I knew would make us upset. If we talked about Edward and the Cullens, she would end up crying and I would say something I regretted. I already regret yelling at her the way I did. I guess I lost it.

The sun was set now and the sky was lit up with oranges and reds. It would have been something nice to enjoy if I wasn't so innerved. I needed a drink.

I left the back porch and went into the game room. Quil, some of the girls, and Tyler were already talking and drinking when I entered. The game room was large and faced three glass windows. From the windows, I could see the bonfire and everyone sitting around it. The whole house seemed to circle around the porch and the fire pit. I could also see into the kitchen across the hall. There was a full sized pool table and plenty of food in the game room, along with a flat screen TV and couches. I could tell that Jessica's dad was a big hunter because of the moose head and deer on the walls.

"How you doing Jake?" Embry asked me when I approached the cooler. I grabbed a beer and let the sweat and ice drip off of it.

"I'm fine. Why?"

"No reason, you just look kind of angry."

"Yeah. Sam was talking about maybe leaving early to get back and patrol."

"All of us?"

"No. I offered to go so you could all stay."

"That's really nice Jake. I can go back with you, though. Its really not a big deal."

"That's fine. It looks like you're having fun here anyways."

We moved over to the pool table. "Wanna play?"

"Yeah." He grabbed us two sticks and set up the table. He and I had always enjoyed playing pool. We would go down to the local pool hall and practice. He used to beat me when we were younger, but I gained skill over the years. It would be interesting to see who came out on top now.

Christina was leaning up against the back of the couch, when she saw us setting up a game and asked to play.

"So what do you say? Have room for a third player?"

"It's your house, you can play whatever you like. If you are as good as your sister, then you can probably give us a run for our money…" Embry responded, with the break. She giggled and took up another queue stick.

As I watched her play, I noticed that she had a good shot. She scored nearly every time, making Embry blush at the fact that he was losing to a girl. I sat out for the first game and sipped my beer. Jessica came up from behind me and casually placed herself next to me, gripping her red cup. She didn't say anything for a while and instead of doing anything, Paul stopped me.

"Jake, just so you know, Newton is crawling all up in your territory."

"What are you talking about Paul?"

"Mike Newton is practically drooling all over Bella. They're getting cozy by the fire and everything." He gave me a smug look as I stared out at them in the distance. Sure enough, he had his arm around her shoulder and they were sitting close to the fire.

"Whatever. That's not my problem anymore. She can do whatever she wants."

To be honest, it bothered me more than I liked. I didn't want the Newton kid with her. He was such as dork. There was no way Bella could go from classy, stiff Cullen, then kiss me and suddenly be interested in Mike Newton. If she wanted to rub this whole thing in my face, then she could. No one was stopping her. I huffed a couple of times and got another beer, then returned to my spot next to Lauren. She had been listening.

"Hey Jake. We've met a couple times. I'm Lauren." She looked up at me through overly done up eyes. Her face was caked with makeup that made her look like a Barbie doll. For someone spending the weekend at a lake house, I would figure makeup would be the last priority.

"Yeah, I know who you are. You go to school with Bella."

"Yep. She is really great." I could hear the lie in her voice.

"So… what's up?"

"Same as you, watching them play pool. You know, I've never played before…"

"Oh really? That's a shame. I could teach you next game if you want."

"That would be great." She smiled and scooted a little closer to me. I wanted to take another step away to restore the space between us, but that would be too obviously rude.

Lauren talked for the next twenty minutes, mostly about herself. I could see why Bella found her obnoxious. It took Bella a lot to get her mad, but one look at Lauren and she could lose it. I was beginning to see why. Embry wasn't helping at all. He played two more games of pool with Christina, only lengthening the time I had to listen to her drabble on and on.

It took him those two other games to finally beat her and when he did she was a good sport. She gave him a hug and congratulated him on finally succeeding. I laughed. Christina was nice enough to offer Lauren and I the table. In a way, she was saving me. If I was teaching Lauren how to play pool, then it meant that I would have to do the talking.

I watched her step up to the table, looking very intimidated. When she picked up the stick, she looked lost and held it with too much ferocity.

"No no no, you're holding it all wrong." I said shaking my hands at her.

"Well, sorry that I don't know how to hold a pool stick!"

"Its called a queue stick, and you hold it like this…" I came up to the side of her and showed her how to hold it properly. I knew she was exaggerating about not knowing how to play, more than she made me believe. It was fine as long as she didn't take it too far. When she had the grip right, I pulled her arm back and let her take a shot. Sure enough, it was perfect. She jumped up and down and wrapped her arms around my waist to hug me. Embry shot me a wary glance.

"You're a great teacher Jake. I didn't think I could score, but I did, all thanks to you!" She smiled.

"So…" she started "I heard about the fight between you and Bella. I think it is a shame. You two are such good _friends_…" she emphasized.

Was the whole world trying to remind me that she only wanted me as a friend? It sure seemed that way.

"She's crazy. There are plenty of girls who would be lucky to have you. She doesn't know what she is missing." She stated and shot another ball.

"Yeah I guess."  
"Its true though. You're very good looking." She gave me a flirtatious smile and a raise of her eyebrows.

I laughed a little bit and shot.

"So do you guys work out a lot?"

"No not really."

"But you are all so huge, I mean your muscles are huge. What's your secret?"

"Push ups and running. We play a lot of football too."

"Hmm, I see. Are you good at football?"

"I think so."

"Hah! He likes to think so!" Quil added in. Lauren stood up straight to look at him.

"Are you saying he is lying?" Lauren challenged.

"No, I am just saying he shouldn't be so confident. I bet I can beat him."

"Oh really? You and who exactly?"

Quil reached behind him and pulled at Tyler to join him. "Tyler. He's good. The two of us could take you on."

I looked at Tyler. He was the biggest of the Forks crowd, with self-gained muscles. He looked tough and sporty.

"Deal. Draw up the teams and we'll do this."

"Fine. Be outside in ten minutes." Quil snorted. We shook hands and parted. Lauren was leaning against the pool table looking proud of herself.

"Well, I guess I'll get to see how good you really are."

***

Bella POV

Jake had been ignoring me the entire night. I was respecting his choice to take some time away, but now I was just getting impatient. I was on my way to the game room when I saw Lauren making her way over to him, and I stopped. He looked happy playing pool with Christina and Embry. If Lauren wanted to talk to him, then I couldn't stop her. All I could do was hope that she didn't poison her.

I sat down on one of the benches by the fire. Angela and Ben were talking about the latest movie. I tried to keep up. Mike joined us a moment later, sitting down extremely close to me. At this point it couldn't hurt to have a friend to talk to, who wasn't a girl, so I didn't comment.

"Hey Bella!" He sounded so happy to see me. I almost wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be.

"Hey Mike. What's up?"

"You looked lonely so I wanted to come over and keep you company." He moved so that he could put his arm around my shoulder. I was going to shrug him off, but was too lazy.

"That's sweet Mike, but you didn't have to." He didn't catch the double meaning behind my words.

"That's ok. Do you want a soda or something?" He asked.

"No I am fine." I looked through the glass ahead of me to find Jake and Lauren chatting up a storm and laughing. She was smiling up at him and he was laughing at what ever she had said. "Actually, can you get me a beer?"

Mike looked at me funny and Angela turned to face me. "Really Bella?" she asked.

"Yeah, why not? It's a party right?" I stood from the bench. "I'll get it."

I trudged over to the game room and let myself in. There was a commotion and something about picking teams I didn't understand. I went straight to the cooler to pick out a beer. There was only one kind so I grabbed the brown bottle and shut the cooler. When I looked up, Jake was a few feet in front of me, standing impeccably close to Lauren. She looked rather pleased with herself, considering that up until a second ago, she had his full attention. His eyes were now on me. I looked to his face and then to his eyes. He met mine for a moment, then returned his focus to Lauren and the pool table.

I could feel my blood slowly boiling. Jerk. If he was somehow trying to make me feel jealous and guilty for being honest with him today, then he was doing a damn good job at it. I stormed out of that room so fast and found my place back by the fire.

***

The business about the teams had been for a makeshift football game the boys had started. Everyone was playing, well all the guys at least. While they all set up their teams and grew fake lines in the grass, the girls were having fun on the sidelines. Chloe and Britney had brought out a stereo and were blasting the latest hip-hop songs. The boys had taken notice to how their clothing had suddenly minimized and how they were gracefully swaying their hips to the beat. I envied them in that way.

Jessica, Christina, and Lauren were playing with the blender, trying to figure out the best way to use the hard alcohol. They had decided on margaritas. I was nursing back my third beer as I watched Jake toss around the football. To distinguish the teams, they agreed on shirts versus skins. Guess which one Jake was? Yep, he was skin and my goodness he made the team proud. It was less impressive to see Mike and Eric on that same team.

Leah was beside me, watching Sam and Emily cuddle to the far right. They were so far off from the rest of the crowd, just how they liked it. It was as if they were already living grown up lives, and the rest of us were just high schoolers to them. I looked over at Leah who looked especially glum.

"What are you thinking about?"

"The what ifs in life. Crap like that. Also, about how ridiculous my brother looks with his shirt off."

I laughed at that one. Leah was good at covering her pain with humor. She was a strong person.

"What about you, Swan? I noticed you started drinking."

"That I did. I guess it was brought on by a certain best friend flirting with a certain satanic bitch." I coughed, taking the last swig from the bottle.

"He is more of an asshole than I thought."

"Yep. He's just trying to get me back."

"That's stupid. He needs to suck it up and move on already. If he can't accept you, then he doesn't deserve you."  
"Amen, sister."

"Wow, Bella, are you drunk?"

"Maybe."

"Hey Bella! You want a margarita?" Jessica yelled from the door.

"What does it taste like?" I asked, honestly not knowing.

"Strawberries."

"Ok." I called back. I turned to Leah. "You want one?" She nodded and offered to go get them for me since I probably couldn't walk in a straight line. She seemed to be getting a kick out of my tipsiness.

While she was in the kitchen getting our drinks I had the sudden need to pee. I got up and stumbled a little bit to the bathroom. Once I had relieved myself, I started walking back. I came across a conversation between Lauren and another girl I couldn't recognize by voice. They were in the next room and couldn't see me walking by. I would have just kept going, if she hadn't said Jake's name and then mine.

"…But you know he is into Bella."

"Shut up. They had a fight and he doesn't want anything to do with her." Lauren spoke.

"Well, that doesn't mean he is into you now."

"Oh yeah, well then why was he using every possible excuse to be close to me in the game room. He was definitely flirting, if you ask me."

"Fine. If you're so confident that he is into you, I dare you to kiss him."

"That's easy."

"And have him kiss you back."

"No problem."

"And mean it."

"Ok. And when he does you can forget about precious little Bella." Lauren sniped.

I wanted to snap her neck. What a bitch! Of coarse she would be trying to get Jake to kiss her. How could I be so stupid in thinking that she would leave him alone? It just wasn't like her to leave things alone. There was nothing I could do now. I guess I could stop it or at least tell him. A large part of me wanted to. It made me sick to think of him kissing anyone else. But the other part of me wanted to see what would happen. If he kissed her back, it would prove that he was over me once and for all.

I found Leah and pulled my drink from out of her hand. I took a large gulp, not tasting any form of alcohol. She looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"You ok?"

"Yup. Fabulous." I said dripping with sarcasm.

Everyone found his or her way outside again. Jessica sat with Lauren and her sister. The girls, who were dancing, had wound down and were sitting on the stones by the grass.

"Go Paul!" Jessica screamed.

"Go Jake!" Lauren screamed.

"Go Embry!" Christina screamed.

The three of them were acting as unofficial cheerleaders, routing for their teams. Of coarse Jake won, and when he did Lauren ran up to congratulate him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him to a seat. He was sweating and rugged looking next to her. I watched them laugh about the highlights of the game. She mumbled something about him proving her right. Embry came to sit next to Leah and I on the far side of the fire pit. He could tell I had been drinking.

"Bella how much have you had to drink?"

"A few beers and this, why?"

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Not really." I mumbled.

"Maybe you should tone it down a little bit. I don't want you hurting yourself."

His words were blurring for me. I didn't catch anything he said because I had my eyes plastered on Jake and Lauren. I held the cup up in front of my face in hopes of being less obvious, but somehow I think it made me more conspicuous. It was getting loud again. The rest of the pack were drinking beers and talking loudly with the girls. The music had been turned up and a few people were dancing. Everyone was busy doing his or her own thing. Leah and Embry had continued a conversation without me. I felt completely alone in a group so large. Everyone in their own world and here I was watching Jake from across a flickering fire.

It seemed like the loudest point in the night, when Lauren leaned especially close to Jake. To my shock, he didn't even flinch. I watched, seeing everything in slow motion, as she leaned in to place her lips against his. She had her hands placed lightly on his shoulders as she moved against his mouth. To further my disappointment, he kissed her back. Only once, he returned the kiss and then they pulled apart.

I felt like someone had hit me really hard in the chest. I suddenly couldn't breathe straight and I partially choked on the mouthful of drink I had been trying to swallow. Leah looked at me then at Jake. Her jaw dropped. I could see a couple other heads turn towards them as well.

When Jake pulled away from Lauren and her overly touchy lips, he looked straight at me, for the second time tonight. It was like a slap in the face. I got up from my chair as fast as I possibly could and speed walked into the house. I wasn't crying. Instead I felt anger and betrayal. I found the bathroom door and rushed inside. I slammed the door and set the lock behind me. I could hear footsteps on the other side of the door but ignored them. I needed to be alone for the moment.

Just because I said that I wasn't in love with him just yet, didn't mean that he could go and kiss some other girl, especially her. The one girl I couldn't stand, he had to go and put his lips on. Disgusting.

I wanted to curse his name. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit him, but I couldn't. I was hurting.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger... I promise it will get better than this. I had to kick in some drama. I promise all the Team Jacob fans that you will get what you want- what we all really want...The last chapter was really short and so I hope this kind of makes up for it. Also, I promised you two in one day so ta-da! I am going to try my hardest to write the next one tomorrow after all, I think you deserve it. You have been so good about reviewing and making me want to continue with the story. Its so nice to hear from you and know that my work is appreciated. Thanks as always for the support. Keep it up. Love you!

P.S. I try and read the stuff that you guys post as well. Its good stuff! Us Team Jacob fans {and those on the borderline who I hope to convert :)} need to stick together. I am so proud to be a part of something that is as awesome as Twilight fanfiction!


	17. Chapter 17: I Can't Believe You!

Jacob POV

Ok, so it might have been a bad idea to kiss Lauren. Sure, she was into me and provided a good distraction, but it still felt wrong. She put way too much into the way she held herself. It was like she was intentionally pushing her chest out so that I would notice that she was wearing a push-up bra that was two sizes too big. Her smile was too forced and her face was covered in makeup. She was trying too hard to get noticed.

I had put up with her tonight because it felt good to be wanted, if even from someone as annoying as her. She was dripping on my every word and found every excuse to touch my knee or arm. Even though she talked about herself most of the time, she still listened when I talked. I would rather have Bella be the one with me, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. She was still hung up on the bloodsucker.

I took Quil's advice to cool down from all this Bella drama. He was like the little red devil on my shoulder. He could always push me to do things I thought I couldn't. He was a wake up call that I needed. He had told me to talk to other girls, so that is what I was doing.

I tried not to pay too much attention to Bella, but it was hard not to. She was talking to Leah, which was never good. She was most likely encouraging my demise in Bella's mind. I also noticed that she had a beer in her hand and when that one was finished, she grabbed another one. I had never seen her drink before but she seemed like she knew what she was getting herself into She slurred her words and kept drinking. This whole time she didn't know that I was watching her. I would only look over when she was distracted. She thought I was wrapped up in Lauren, but she also thought I didn't notice that she was staring me down.

When Lauren got up to talk to one of her friends, both Embry and Quil came up to me.

"What are you doing, Jake?" Embry asked.

"Talking to a girl, who isn't Bella. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Only if you do something stupid, so don't ok? You'll regret it later." With that he left Quil and I to stare at each other.

"Don't listen to Embry, he's overreacting."  
"You're right. I can do whatever I want."  
"Well maybe not… don't go overboard, I mean it might be awkward if you did anything with a girl Bella goes to school with. I want you to be happy, but I don't think you should go for the first girl who comes to talk to you after Bella. Think about it." He left me too and Lauren returned to my side.

We got to talking again but all I could think about was Bella. Of coarse as soon as I think I might be able to forget her for one night, she pops back up again. The last thing I expected was Lauren to lean in and kiss me.

It was a big shock but at the same time it wasn't. She was overly persistent. I couldn't do much but sit there and wait for her to drop it. I was going to push her away, when I thought of Bella telling me we could only be friends. It hurt how much I wanted to be kissing Bella right now and I guess that drove me do kiss Lauren back. It really wasn't the same as kissing Bella by any means. It didn't feel right. She didn't smell like strawberries or have the soft touch that I wanted her too. I pulled away before she could go any further in thinking that I was interested in her, but I feared it was already too late.

She released me easily and moved away. The first thing I did once I realized what I had just done was look to Bella. Nothing could have hurt more than seeing the look of pain on her face. Of coarse she had been watching. How could I have been so stupid? The part that hurt the worst was that on top of her painful expression, she looked disappointed.

She excused herself immediately and ran into the house. Emily followed her. I could feel the guilt set in over me as Leah, Quil, and Paul all came over to me, ready to rain on me. Lauren was sitting calmly and watching the whole scene unfold.

"What the hell?!" Leah screamed at me, punching me really hard in the chest.

"Dude that wasn't cool" Quil added.

"What are you talking about? You were the one who wanted me to move on and find someone else!" I accused him. He stared at me with disbelief.

"I meant find a nice girlfriend, not kiss Lauren! That was a low blow."

"How is this my fault? She said she wasn't in love with me and practically encouraged me to go and find someone else."

"You're so stupid sometimes, Jake. She loves you, a lot, and she wanted to tell you that she is trying her hardest to move on. If you hadn't have been such a pig headed jerk by ignoring her all night, she could have told you that herself."

"What do you mean?"

"She wants to be with you, Jake. But you overreacted, kissed her, and now Bella thinks you're into Lauren now! Nice job!"

"I didn't know!" I sat back down and put my head in my hands. Great, now I really screwed things up.

Emily came back out of the house and went up to Sam saying that Bella was crying and had just thrown up in the bathroom. The alcohol in her system wasn't helping, either. I knew Emily probably hated me now, too but I needed to talk to her. She had seen Bella and I needed to know how she was doing.

"Emily how is she?"

"She isn't good, Jake. I think that she needs her space for a little bit. You need to let her come out on her own."

"But I need to talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk to you right now. You should respect that wish."

"Em, come on. I need her to talk to me."

"No Jake." She stood firm. Sam came up behind her and addressed her.

"He can at least go and apologize for making a big mistake." He gave me a stern look that made my tail go between my legs. Emily lightly nodded. I started off towards the house and they followed me.

The door was closed and I could hear the water running on the other side. I wanted to kick the door in and make her listen to me, but I would be in too much trouble for doing that in someone else's house. Before I could knock, Sam pulled me to the side.

"Jake I think you should know that I don't approve of what you just did. I think that considering the way you and Bella have been acting around each other lately, you probably hurt her a lot…." I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a hand to stop me. "I know I haven't been the biggest advocate of you and Bella, because I think you should consider the very real possibility that you could still imprint. I want you to do what you think is right, but think about how this could affect the future for both of you. Bella is behind that door suffering from her first hangover and I think you should help her, but don't think you are going to be able to apologize and everything will be fine." He patted me on the shoulder. I didn't have anything to say to that. He was right about everything.

I returned to the door and knocked lightly. I assumed she knew it was me already. Which is why she wasn't answering.

"Bells?"

"Go away!" She yelled back.

"Bells open up. I need to talk to you. Its really important."

"No." She mumbled. I could hear that she had been crying.

"Please."

"I'm serious, Jake. I don't want to talk to you." She stood firm on her stance. I couldn't blame her.

"Ok, fine. I'll just stand here until you open the door." I leaned against the wall to the left of the door and slowly slid down it, until I was sitting.

There was no answer. I let a few minutes pass, hoping that she was getting it out of her system. I wasn't going to rush her into talking to me, but I was getting slightly impatient.

"Are you ever going to open the door?"

I waited a minute and heard her shuffling her feet.

"I need a change of clothes." She huffed.

"I'll get some for you. Then will you come out and talk to me?"

"Fine."

I ran to her room and pulled some shorts and a t-shirt from her bag and brought them back to the door. I knocked lightly three times. She cracked the door open enough to stick her arm out and grab the clothes from me, and then she pulled them back and slammed the door. I waited while she changed, anticipating what I was going to say to her. I knew she would want me to apologize a lot, and perhaps she would have something nasty to say to me. I admit that I deserved most of what she would say, but I assumed since she had made it clear that we were friends, that my actions with Lauren would have been taken less drastically.

I almost jumped when I heard the door click open. She stood in the doorway looking angry and dizzy. I smiled at her, thinking about how much her head must be spinning right now. She didn't like that I found humor right now and went to shut the door again, before I stopped her with my arm. I waited for her to say the first word.

"What do you want?" She snapped.

"To talk."

"That's it? You wouldn't prefer to make out with Lauren some more. Surely it must be more fun than talking to some girl you used to be in love with." She retorted.

This made me angrier than I wanted.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I said, feeling my arms shake a little bit. But she didn't back down. The alcohol had given her a extra bite of confidence. She stood tall and got up in my face.

"How could you do that to me Jake? I get it, ok. You're trying to get back at me and I shouldn't be surprised because I practically pushed you away, but seriously!? I didn't think you were going to move on so fast…and to LAUREN? It could have been any other girl, but it had to be the one who I hate. That's ridiculous!" She took a breath. "I swear I never wanted to hit someone more than I just did right then. And I would have too if I weren't so damn sensitive."

I laughed. I never thought Bella could be a violent person and never knew what she was like with alcohol in her system.

"This is not funny, Jacob Black!"

I only laughed more when she stomped her foot.

"I really hate you right now." She said as she crossed her arms around her chest.

"You don't mean that."

"I know…" She whispered. "This whole thing is so stupid because I shouldn't be this upset. I was the one who pushed you away and I can't blame you for kissing Lauren. She was wiling to throw herself at you this whole time. Gross." She made a funny face. "I know you said you weren't going to wait around but I didn't think you would really go out and kiss someone else in front of me."

"What did you expect Bells? You are so hot and cold. One minute you're kissing me and the next you're running. You constantly flirt with me and then tell me that you can't get over your ex-lover! I can only take so much."

"Well I am sorry, but I can't help the way I feel. I have been getting a lot closer to you the past couple weeks and its been really great. I didn't expect you to spring the 'I love you' on me. It was a little sudden."

"You know how I feel about you and I know you feel it back!"

"I do, ok? And I have tried to tell you that but you just freaked out and left!"

"I get that I might have reacted too harshly and I'm sorry." I sighed.

"If you were trying to make me jealous, you did a good job. You got what you wanted."

"Bells, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"But you did. Jake, I wish I could love you like you need me to. I really am trying." She slid down the wall to crumple up on the floor, burying her head between her knees. I wanted to wrap her in my arms but I felt that maybe she needed a moment to think. When she started to cry, I lowered myself to sit next to her.

I pulled her into my arms and let her cry into my shoulder. I smoothed her hair down and rubber her shoulder.

"I hate to see you like this, Bells. You don't need to apologize for anything. I really was being a jerk. I don't want to fight about this anymore. Can we just pretend that this never happened?"

She nodded lightly and sniffled.

"And I am really sorry about making you feel guilty about the Edward thing. I didn't meant to pressure you into loving me back. And I know how badly it hurts to talk about it. I wont bring it up if that makes you feel better, ok? You call the shots. You're my best friend in the whole world, Bella and I hate to think I almost lost you over something as stupid as this."

"So we're still friends?"

"Of coarse we are…its gonna take a lot more than this to break us apart." I laughed. She laughed a little bit too and then it was silent again.

"Um, Jake?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Um…do you like Lauren?"

"What?" I asked, a little too shocked. How could she even think that? After what I told her this afternoon. Could she honestly believe that I could stop loving her that fast, if at all?

"It's ok if you do…"

I really hoped she was lying. I didn't want her being ok with me liking anyone else. I didn't and it hurt to believe that she would let me go if I did.

"No, Bells, I don't. It was stupid of me to kiss her. She was just there and that sounds like a crappy excuse, but honestly I wasn't thinking straight. It meant nothing."

"Oh."

That was all she said. She didn't want to talk about it and neither did I. I suppose now it was safe to say that we had temporarily fixed the problem. I know that we would have to work on the more important stuff, like me trying not to kiss her all the time, even though I really really want to. As long as she and I were friends and I knew that she cared about me, even just a little, I could stand it. Having her here in my arms was enough. It was more than I could have imagined having just a few months ago. One day, when she is strong and ready, she will come to the realization that she loves me as more than a friend. When that day comes I will be ready and waiting.

"My head hurts." She groaned. I lifted her up and carried her over to the couch. I laid her down and pulled a blanket over her.

"I'll get you some water. You had a little too much to drink."

I laughed as I went to the kitchen. Every one was still outside. Our little fight hadn't broken up the party, which I was relieved of. Bella would be red with embarrassment upon knowing that the whole crowd was awaiting our return. I saw Paul and Jessica off to the corner, whispering in each other's ears and I shook my head. He didn't know what he was getting himself into.

Emily came out of nowhere. She shocked me when I turned around with a full glass of water and nearly bumped into her. She looked a little less mad than before, but I could see that she still wasn't happy with me.

"I am glad to see that you and Bella worked things out."

"Me too."

"But, you and I still need to have a talk." She faked a stern look, one that reminded me of Sam's, and then she laughed. "We are going to start the drive back home. Tell Bella that we will see her soon and that she can come by whenever she wants to, alright?"

"Will do, Em." We hugged and she went back to get Sam. They left a minute later, after graciously hugging each guest and thanking them for the lovely evening.

When I went back to the couch to bring Bella her water glass, I found her asleep. She looked peaceful and beautiful. I set the water glass on the table next to the couch and went to sit by her. I brushed the hair out of her face and behind her cheek. I was feeling tired myself and lowered myself to lay beside her. When she readjusted, she moved herself to be comfortably in the crook of my arm. I let my eyes close slowly as I took in her scent. I could get used to this.

* * *

A/N: Sorry there is only one today. I had to make sure this got posted, even if it was shorter and not as happy, because I know that you all deserve it. You are the best readers ever and I value your support and thoughts about the story. Don't give up on me. I will try very hard to get a few chapters up before the weekend. I have a busy week and tomorrow I get to meet Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz!!! I am so excited. Hopefully that will spark a new chapter involving their characters...

Go Team Jacob! Show your support by screaming really loud for our man in the movie, which is due to be released in less than two weeks!

I love you all! I'll update soon. Until then, I would love to hear from you. It truly makes my day to get your messages. Don't be shy. :)


	18. Chapter 18: Ignoring the Obvious

Bella POV

To say that I was ok with the whole night would be this biggest lie. I hated how things had gone tonight and I hated how I still felt like things weren't over being awkward. I wanted to move past this stupid night and pretend like Lauren and her snakiness would disappear and take the drama with her. I didn't want to fight with Jake any more than I had to and already it had been too much.

I woke up with a pounding headache and what felt like a fever, but I would be naive to think that I was coming down with something. Stupid me just decided to down too many alcoholic beverages on an empty stomach and then sleep next to a werewolf_...wait, I don't remember consciously doing that last part_ and yet there was a massive body pinning me to the leather. It stuck to my sweaty skin in the most awful way, and I could hear the squeaking when I moved around. I was lucky that Jake had chosen the inside of the very deep leather sofa and I was on the outside closest to escape.

I began to slowly remove my body from underneath his arm; his head was tucked into his armpit, facing away from me, snoring loud enough to wake the heaviest of sleepers. I knew my descent from the couch would not be graceful, like my many other attempts at sneaking away; at least in this case, all I had to do was avoid waking him. Like I had predicted, I fell onto the floor with a loud thump and rolled a few feet before colliding with the coffee table, which would leave a bruise, no doubt. I peeked over my shoulder to check whether Jake was still sleeping and thank goodness he was, otherwise I would have to explain myself. I couldn't even explain to myself why all of the sudden I felt the need to separate myself from him.

_You still feel weird about everything that happened and you cant bear to look at him?_

_ The closeness makes you confront all the feelings you have for him?_

_ You feel guilty that you put him through so much and drove him to kiss the skank?_

All of these things could be the reason I needed to get away, get some air, and breathe in something that wasn't Jake's almost mouthwatering scent...what was it? Pine, musk, and dogwood? _Whatever it is, it is overwhelming. _

I made my way up from the floor, clutching the table to pull myself up. I padded over to the sliding glass door, moving through the empty room and taking in the surroundings. Jake and I were the only ones inside, while there were noises coming from the surrounding rooms.

It wasn't as late as I originally assumed. I would have thought that the sun would wake me up, but instead I woke up to a dark house, lit by a fire. Most of the 'party' had broken up and some stragglers were still milling around the fire outside.

"Bella!" Leah called to me. She was sitting in one of the chairs with hot chocolate in her hands. She waved for me to come and sit by her. I seated myself on the patio furniture crossing my ankles and leaning back.

"Hey Leah. What time is it?I fell asleep and sort of lost track of time."

"Just around one in the morning. We made some hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do you want some? It will help with the headache I bet you are feeling right now." She lifted the cup to my nose so I could smell the cocoa and cinnamon, wafting through the steam.

"No thanks. It will keep me up. I had a hard time sleeping and I'm sure it will only make it harder to fall back to sleep."

"I have a hard time believing that. You looked pretty comfortable with Jake on the couch...we didn't want to wake you."

"Hmph." I shot her a waring glance. Of coarse she and the pack would be spying on us and would soon use it against me. "I don't know what to do about him. I want to forget everything that happened but I'm not sure if I am over it." I leaned in closer to her so that I could whisper in her ear, even though I knew the rest of the pack could hear. I was just avoiding the human ears of anyone close by, such as a certain..."Where is Lauren?"

"The mega bitch?" She smiled taking a big gulp from her hot chocolate and laughed.

"Yes the exact one." I giggled along.

"She is upstairs with her minions, probably trying to plot the end of the world. I cant believe you are actually friends with her. "

"I'm not! If you remember correctly, she kissed my boyfriend in front of everybody!Thats not exactly something I look for in a great friend" I whispered hostly.

"Boyfriend eh?" Leah stared at me skeptically. Putting her mug down and giving me a funny look.

"I mean friend who is a boy... sort of. You know what I mean!" I huffed sinking farther back in my seat and avoiding her eyes.

"Bella you are so indicisive. Can't you just make up your mind already. I get that Jake was a major asshole tonight but we would like nothing more than to see him happy and the way that is going to happen, is if you just go in there and jump his bones already!" She laughed, playfully shoving me in the shoulder.

"I will do no such thing! I want things to be perfect and not out of revenge or guilt like right now."

"Ok well can you please fix things so that we can go home happy? I don't want to have to deal with his wind while phased if he is strung up without you. That would just be the icing on the top of my cake."

"Ok and what time would be good for you Leah because I would like to plan my love life around your schedule?" I asked with heavy humor.

"Tomorrow morning prefferably."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Sam wants us back on patrol by tomorrow. He thinks that there might be some activity going on that we are missing. He just wants to be safe and fulfill the duty of the pack, blah, blah blah. I personally dont want to leave. I like it here. Jessica is actually pretty cool, not to mention, this house is amazing. We don't have jet skis and speedboat racing back in La Push." She sighed, running her hands through her long, beautiful black hair.

"Jake's leaving in the morning?" _Lucky him. He can just ditch all this drama. I have to go to school with these people. _

"Yup." When she saw the look of distress on my face she turned to me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "Don't sweat it Bella. I am sure the boys would be thrilled if you wanted to ride back with them, unless of coarse you would rather stay here with Lauren..."

"NO! I'll go back with you guys. I feel more comfortable with you anyways." There was no freaking way I was going to stay here and think him and Lauren, with her only two rooms away.

"Of coarse you do. But I guess that isnt really the normal thing. What is it with you? You find more comfort in monsters, like werewolves and vampires, than you do with actual human beings. Strange." She shook her head in mock disbelief.

"Yep. I'm the oddball of the family." I laughed.

"You sure are, but Jake has always been a little different himself." She said rolling her eyes. "And I guess that is what makes you perfect for each other."

I suppose I could take that as a compliment in a strange Leah kind of way.

Leah took another sip of her hot chocolate and steam rose from the top. The wind was more nippy than I expected; it would have been helpful to bring a jacket or stay close to Jake. As if an answer to my prayers, Jake came strolling out and plopped down next to me and smiled.

"Hey Bells."

"Jake." I nodded back to him. He looked disappointed with my greeting and I suppose it wasn't the sexy kiss he wanted or even the warm hug I was capable of giving him but didn't. I couldn't be Jake's Bella right now. I needed to be the guarded and reserved Isabella Swan I had been previously before my world came crashing down.

"We still need to talk." He turned so that I had no choice but to look at him. I rolled my head around a bit, avoiding his piercing eyes. It was childish, I know, but I couldn't handle looking at him yet."I know you don't forgive me and it was wrong to end things the way I did." He scooted further up on the seat so that we were practically touching. While nearly pulling me closer and sliding his enormous figure onto the suddenly miniscule love-seat, Leah was being moved farther and farther left. When she could no longer sit on the chair, she stood and stared down at the two of us.

Leah huffed at the two of us and then excused herself, muttering about Jake's superb manners and that we needed time alone. _Thank you Leah. _I could have sworn I saw a smile play on his lips as he watched her leave and I couldn't help but think he pushed her on purpose.

The rest of the pack, that was haphazardly scattered around the yard, moved back into the house, trapping the noise inside the house with them, finally leaving the two of us to talk. _This is what I was avoiding._

It suddenly felt too quiet. Silence had never been awkward between us until now. There had always been a comfortable understanding with us, that allowed silence without questions. This was different and I wanted nothing more than for it to go away. I hated feeling like I couldn't talk to him or that I needed to be guarded.

When had things changed? It was always so easy with him. But now, it felt forced. _Stupid Lauren._

"I know. I guess I just don't feel right quite yet." I stammered. I know he felt the uneasiness so he moved closer and grabbed my hand.

"Bells I dont think I could ever say sorry enough. I need you to know that I really am sorry for what I did. That was literally the stupidest thing I could have done because...because I almost lost you over something as inconsequential as a kiss. It didn't mean anything to me, I swear, and I will get down on my knees and grovel for forgiveness if that is what it takes." The look in his eyes was that of honesty. He meant every word he said.

I wanted to be serious too but I couldn't help but giggle. I knew he would do whatever it took to get me back but I didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't need to. I had already forgiven him for everything, before I had even noticed it. He didn't need to prove anything to me. I just needed to look into his eyes in order to feel his pain and regret.

I waited for him to say or do something. Hopefully he would pop a joke or make fun of me like usual. Of coarse he couldn't act like I expected him to, he always had to surprise me. I let out a chuckle when he _did _get down on his knees and put his hands up to plead in front of me.

"Please forgive me, Bells. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I was stupid and juvenile when I let myself hurt you the way I did. I wont kiss another girl, if we can move past this and you can be my best friend again."

If his word weren't enough to elicit a small smile from me, it was the puppy dog eyes he was so good at. They melted me down until I had no internal structure left in my body and I weakened at his smile. I sat there taking in his movements. The subtle cock of his head and the sparkle in his eyes that told me he was up to no good. I held my breath as he leaned closer and wrapped his arms all the way around my body, heaved me up in the air, and spun me around. His arms were circled so close around me, that I could almost hear the cracking of my bones as he broke them with his closeness.

"Cant...breathe..." My lack of oxygen did not deter him because he kept spinning me until I was feeling sick to my stomach.

"What is that Bells? You forgive me?" He kept spinning and spinning so that I was about ready to hurl.

"Yes yes yes just put me down!"

"OK." He lowered me to my feet and I wobbled slightly, but he never removed his hand from my elbow, making sure that I didnt fall over. _Well aren't you sweet._

"I forgive you Jake. I _am_ tired of being upset... about everything. I need my best friend back! Can we promise never to fight again?" I smiled, playfully swinging our intertwined hands.

"Whatever you say. No more fights... at least not about anything I've done. We can just fight about normal stuff, like what pizza to order."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He smiled his famous Jake smile and I slanted forward to press my face to his chest in order to give him a real hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and curled myself tighter against him.

"I love you Jake."

"I love you too Bells." He lowered his face into the crook of my neck, sniffing my hair. I would have said something, but I let him have this moment.

"Jake? Can I ask for something?" I asked, not making any movement to look at his face.

"Of coarse. What do you need?"

"Can you take me back with you? I dont think I can make it another day here. Being in a house with Lauren on normal circumstances is hard enough." I sighed.

"But you've only been here one day. Don't you want to stay a little longer and have fun? Don't let us spoil your long weekend."

"I think it would be more awkward than fun. Just please do this for me." _Please don't leave me with these crazy people! I would much rather spend the long weekend with just you..._

"Sure if you really want to."

"I do. Don't leave me here." He shrugged as if my request was no big deal or maybe he just expected that answer from me.

"Aren't you tired? Its like one in the morning."

I had to think about that for a moment. As it was, I was more tired than I thought. When Jake's grip on my waist loosened, I almost fell over without his help to keep me up.

He didn't let me answer and just motioned me to the door, pushing me gently by the shoulders and leading me into the house. Embry and Seth were in the kitchen chugging a drink I couldn't identify, while Leah timed them and Quil cheered them on. I could see the blue glow from underneath the doorway of the den where I assumed a movie was playing.

"Would you prefer to go back to your room and sleep with Jessica and Angela? I am sure they are dying to ask you about if we made up."

I smiled at him. Of coarse they would want to know. If I were them and witnessed this whole scene, I would be persistent in getting some answers. I was nearly positive that Jessica and Angela would side with me versus Lauren, but I couldn't be sure. Angela would stick up for me, always, but Jessica was still on the fence about the two of us. I was starting to think that this weekend we had really bonded and that maybe that would sway her from Lauren's death grip on humanity.

To be honest, I would rather not have to deal with the pestering questions from them. Plus, it was way more comfortable to be curled up in Jake's arms. _What am I trying to say? That I like sleeping next to him... of coarse you do. Who wouldn't? He's amazingly attractive and totally in love with you. _

"No I'd rather sleep with you." The moment I said it I wished I hadn't. His eyes snapped to me as soon as the phrase was out of my mouth and I tried my hardest to keep the blush from taking over my face. He raised an eyerbrow at me and smiled mischieviously. I knew exactly what was going through his mind and I wanted it to stop. He would no doubt tease me for the rest of my life, thanks to my idiocy and inability to filter my thoughts.

And as much as I would like to say that that statement was as innocent as I wanted it to be, there was an underlying statement that crossed my mind unconsciously. The exact double meaning of the phrase-- the driving force of the pack's current entertainment and laughing fit-- was exactly what I didn't want Jake to know about. _It just had to slip_. _Fabulous, now he thinks that I'm hot for him. _

He turned to look at me, ignoring the snickers of the boys in the kitchen who were enjoying my embarassment. His eyes were wide and suspicious, digging into mine and searching my face for signs of the truth. I hoped I could hide it better than I could lie to his face. He chuckled at my brain fart and smirked with an all-knowing expression.

"Oh you would? I'm up for it if you are." He chuckled, his husky voice alluring me, while he took a step forwards. I stood still trying not to give myself away any more. I knew at the moment he was joking around with me, but deep down he was as serious as I was. _Hold yourself together, Bella. Don't go and screw this up again._

"Oi Oi Oi." Hollars and hoots came from the kitchen and I shot a death glare at Quil and Embry who were grinning like fools.

"Let me know before you two get a room. I would rather not be there." Leah joked as she sipped on a fruity beverage. Jake laughed along with them as I stood getting more red by the second.

"Shut up! I didn't mean it that way and you know it!" I screeched and slapped his arm.

"Sure you didn't." He mocked, turning away from me and walking slowly to the kitchen.

"I didn't! You...I...urrrgh! You are so cocky sometimes!" I screeched.

He turned around and made his way back to me, pulling me close to him and holding my waist. "But you love me anyways."

He could be such as jerk sometimes. Not that it ever stopped me from being with him, but it definetely got me to thinking.

"Whatever, maybe I will go back to the room and leave you here by yourself." I started to pull away in an attempt to teach him a lesson. If he wanted to be cocky and arrogant, then he could do it without me there. I was unsuccessful for he was too strong.

He tightened his grip on my wrist and pulled me closer to him. To be honest, I really didnt want to go back to the room but if he was acting up, I could easily find another place to sleep. Maybe with Leah, although she would just be advocating my interest in Jake.

"Sorry." He mumbled in the midst of curling me into another bone crushing hug.

"Whatever. I know you like embarrassing me."

"But this time you just embarrassed yourself, Bells. I had nothing to do with it. I'm not the one suggesting we sleep together..." I glared at him knowing his thoughts about the two of us. "At least not out loud." He smirked devilishly.

"Mhmm."

He pulled me by the waist and leaned backwards until we collapsed onto the couch, with me laying across his lap. I scooted sideways until I was comfortably seated _next_ to him. He just looked over at me and sighed. He pulled close to me, once he was sure I wouldn't get up again, and warmed me up. Even though I was tired, we sat up and talked. The silence between us all afternoon had made me miss him so much. Now all I wanted to do was hold on and not let go.

I could feel my eyes drifting when Paul came clambering out from the den looking pretty damn pleased with himself.

"What are you so happy about?"Jake rumbled next to me.

Paul just chuckled and responded with "I told you Jessica liked me."

"Nice." Jake laughed

"Gross." I mumbled.

I looked up to Jake as if to ask him what had happened between them. He looked back down at me, curling his mouth up and scrunching his brow with an 'I'll tell you later' expression. Minutes later, Jessica waltzed out with dishevled hair and smiled at me.

"Hey Bella, Jake. Glad to see you two made up!" She was making her way to the other side of the house when I hopped up and grabbed her arm.

"Jess, what happened with you and Paul?"

She smiled and bit her lip in a flirtatious fashion. "Paul's a very good kisser." She giggled and kept moving.

_What was going on with people? _

* * *

A/N: Sorry that took forever. Fun stuff is coming, I promise. Lemons?? :)


	19. Chapter 19: Get Your Engine Going

Bella POV

We left the lake house early in the morning, arriving back in Forks by mid morning. The pack dropped me off at the Newton's store so that I could earn some extra money I was missing out on during the long weekend. Jacob and the rest of the guys needed to run patrols. Mrs. Newton was pleasantly surprised to see me at work when I wasn't expected, but let me get to work. Sadly, there was little traffic through the store and I spent most of my shift standing behind the counter with nothing to do.

The whole weekend had passed strangely. Jake and I had started out on an awkward note after having made out and then continued our flirtation on the car ride to the house. Spending the day with him had been great until we had gotten into that stupid fight. After he had kissed Lauren I wanted to vomit, on her, but by the end of the night I couldn't stay mad at him. No matter what he did, there was no way I could be around him and not want to curl up at his side. He was my best friend and I suppose I always knew that I wanted more than that. It was only recently that I knew we could have more than that.

Sitting behind a counter until Mrs. Newton was sure there would be no more customers, gave me four hours to evaluate this whole Jake situation. Simple answer to all my problems: make Jake see how I truly feel about him.

"Bella you should head home. I highly doubt we will have many people coming through here when they are enjoying the long weekend elsewhere."  
"You're probably right. Thank you, Mrs. Newton." I waved as I made my way out the front door, pulling my keys from my pocket. My truck sat there waiting for me, next to my friend's cars, in the parking lot. My friends were surprisingly understanding of my needing to leave two days early. Lauren simply gave me a conspicuous look. _I wonder if I have time to key her car before she gets back._

When I got into the truck, I slipped the keys into the ignition easily and to my surprise the engine wouldn't start. I tried it five times before I realized that it truly wouldn't budge. I went back into the store and was able to get Jake on the phone.

"I need you to come and bail me out of a sticky situation. Are you busy?"

"What do you need Bells?"

"The truck wont start."

"And what makes you think that I am willing to help you…?"

"Please." I whined, hoping that it would ease his stubbornness, although I knew he was just joking.

"Fine. Where are you?"

"Work. Can you come and get me?"

"Sure. I'll see you in a few."

He came to the store and worked his magic on the truck so that he was able to move it to the garage. Jake promised me that he could get it fixed before the day was done. Once I sat down I realized that his promise might be short lived.

The leather, of the removed car's backseat, was more comfortable than I would have thought. I was blocking out the racket that Quil, Embry and Jake were making nearly ten feet to the right of me. They were clambering about through Jake's ever growing pile of extra car parts, searching for the right piece to use. Quil had chosen a punk rock/alternative radio station that blasted the newest Three Days Grace tune at maximum volume. Once the guy's lingo of radiators and engine coils started, I became completely invisible.

I had gone into the house earlier to scrounge up all the food I could manage, so that the boys wouldn't go hungry. They had thanked me and then gone straight back to their business of busily working. They munched the sandwiches and crumbled the chips into their mouths while tinkering with the truck. I had settled down on the car's seat, off to the side of the garage, and opened my schoolbook. I managed to fit in some reading that I had been neglecting all weekend.

Despite the noise, I managed to fall asleep. It must have been the comfort that I felt when I was here. La Push, Jake's house in particular, was a safe haven for me. Everything in Forks reminded me of the Cullens and the miserable months I spent moping after they left. Every place had a memory and each memory led to that same crushing feeling in my chest. When Jake was around, the heartbreak was numbed. He could make me smile when all other hope was lost.

Our friendship had grown so much in the past couple months. It had started as a way for me to selfishly indulge in adrenaline pumped activities. He was the tool I needed to hear Edward. Slowly, that selfishness turned into a need for each other. I needed him to make me feel better and he needed me to be there for him as a friend. Soon enough our relationship had taken a sudden turn. One minute he was rescuing me from the ocean, and the next I am rolling around with him on the couch. I don't know how that happens.

I wasn't completely bypassing the idea that Jake and I could be more than friends, I was finally considering it. Until now, of course. I had thought about it numerous times over the last couple days as things became tenser between us. I had complete confidence in him. I knew that he was a great guy who could make me very happy-any girl would be lucky to have him. My hesitation came from me. I didn't know if I could do it. Could I betray my love for Edward? Could I take that huge step with my best friend?

My head was a swirling bowl of confusion. I couldn't tell my left from my right. This much was clear to me: Jake was an amazing guy and a terrific kisser, and I still loved Edward but probably always would.

At some point through all the swirling, I found my answer. I wanted to be with Jake, but I still didn't know if I could show him.

"Bells?"

"Bella?"

"Sleepy head, it's time to wake up…"

I could hear three mocking voices whispering in my ear. I grumbled and covered my eyes with my hands.

"What?"

"Bells, wake up. We're ordering a pizza, you want some?" Jake asked, lightly shaking my shoulder. I let my eyes flutter open, taking in the brightness of the lights in the workspace invade my lids. I blinked a couple times and swallowed dryly. Jake kneeled in front of me, smiling and trying hard not to laugh.

I imagined what I must look like after having fallen asleep. I knew I tended to talk in my sleep, I drooled on my pillow, and I lay in awkward positions. Judging the look on the boys' faces, I could tell that my nap was no exception to my usual sleeping habits.

"Um, sure. What kind are you getting?"

"Quil? Embry?" Jake shouted over his shoulder. The two of them looked at me, holding the house phone between them.

"Its between the 'Macho Man Supreme' or the 'Meat Lovers Delight'. What do you think?"

"Macho man supreme. Definitely." I joked.

"Alrighty. Coming right up." Quil chirped. Embry smacked his shoulder as Quil negotiated splitting the price. They explained driving instructions and hung up.

I felt silly for falling asleep while the three boys worked endlessly on a truck, _my_ truck. It wasn't my fault that it was acting up. I treated it with respect and care, never pushing its speed limit or overheating the engine. This truck was too important for me to give up on. What if he couldn't fix it? Was the truck finally done? I couldn't think easily of the situation, if the truck were to die. It had been the start of Jacob and my friendship, when he brought me the truck the first day I had moved here. He and I had spent countless hours in this garage fixing it—well, him fixing it while I sat and watched. It was a symbol of our friendship and the effort we put into keeping things together. It was the piece of machinery that had transported me from Forks to La Push on the darkest of days; one that Jacob had built with his own two hands. I had shed too many tears and gotten very close to Jacob, without going too far, inside it's cab; it was the start of _us_. What would I do without it? It was a second person, one that I cared very much about, and I wasn't ready to let go of just yet.

"How is the truck looking Jake?" Embry asked.

"I can't seem to figure out what the problem is…wait, I think I got it. Sweet!" He fuddled with the engine a little bit more and then looked up with a triumphant smile. He looked so adorable when he achieved something. His whole face lit up and his smirk was contagious. "I think I finally got this worked out. I can switch the two pumps, then change the fuel…then I can jump start it!"

He moved away from the truck and went to his back counter, twiddling his fingers on his chin as the gears in his head began to move.

"Translate, please. Some of us don't speak car, or guy for that matter." I added.

"No problem, Bells. Sorry, I sometimes get a little carried away."

"I understand that, but seriously can you explain to me what is wrong with the truck?"

"Yep. Basically, the engine has these two pumps that are really worn down. If I can switch them and change the oil, then the engine will work until I can get better parts to replace them."

"Oh ok. Now that you put it like that, I can understand. It seems like all my studying and hard work goes out the window when I walk in here. You're the king of the garage and I seem to pale in comparison."

"You should just bow to me then."

"In your dreams."

"That's not all that he dreams about…" Quil whispered to Embry, suggesting something I didn't understand fully. Yet another guy joke I was left out of.

"What?" I asked. Jake turned his head in their direction and shot them a warning glance.

"Forget them, Bella. Quil just likes to run his mouth."

"I bet. So you can fix the truck?"

"Yes. Definitely. I can make it start and then hopefully next week I can pick up the new parts and then we wont have to worry about this stop and start thing anymore."

"Great! I hate not having a ride."

"Well, it still wont be running for at least another day. I can drive you home and stuff, don't worry about that."

"Ok, thanks. You know how Charlie is. He would hate to have to drive me everywhere. That would require him to talk about stuff."

"We don't want that." He laughed, being the only other person, besides Billy, who knew how unsocial Charlie was. _Like father like daughter_, my mother always used to say.

"Pizza's here!" Embry cheered. He, along with Quil, ran out to the front yard to meet the pizza delivery boy. His car hadn't even pulled up yet, but they could probably smell the cheese, meat, and veggies from a mile away.

It was a good thing that they ordered four pizzas. Each of them ate their own and the fourth one was left for my consumption and leftovers for Billy. Quil was halfway through his pizza before I could even sit down and open the box that was left for me. When I tried to reach for a piece, I nearly burnt my hands on the scorching, gooey cheese.

"Ouch!" I squealed. I felt three wide-open eyes staring at me. I suppose the heat from the pizza wouldn't affect someone who ran a high temperature. They fight heat with heat.

"You ok?" Jake asked.  
"Yeah, just a little finger burn. No biggie. My pizza is just a little hot." He took my finger and examined it, then placed it back in my lap.

"Here, have a bite of mine. I've had my box open for a while so my slice is cooler than yours." Jake suggested.

"Thanks."

He picked up the slice he had already taken a gigantic bite from and lifted it to my lips, blowing on it to cool it down further. I leaned forward slightly to meet him halfway. The pizza was delicious, the perfect combination of cheese and meat, with the crunch of the onions and peppers.

Jake took in my pleased expression and smiled. He took the pizza back and ate some more of it. When he was finished with his slice he grabbed two and handed one to me.

It was the little things that made me smile and he knew it. Offering me his pizza because mine was too hot, was such a simple sentiment that meant so much to me.

Embry set off on his tangent about the newest action flick and Quil joined in the fun. Jacob whispered in my ear, filling me in on all the details I didn't understand. I could tell that we were getting amused looks, but I didn't mind. It felt nice to be included. Embry and Quil were good guys and I wouldn't be unhappy if I got to spend time with them more in the future. They made me feel like a part of the group. Even the other pack members were starting to understand that I was becoming a bigger part of Jacob's life. In the beginning, they were unhappy about the fact that I knew about their little tribal secret. They felt like I was an outsider who shouldn't be let in on the legends. What made me so different from the girlfriends and imprints of the other pack members? Except of course the fact that I was not an imprint or girlfriend, I was still the main lady, hopefully, of Jacob's life.

"So Bella, what are your plans for the evening?" Embry asked, quietly sipping his soda. Immediately, the response was to look between Jake and me.

"I'm not sure. I figured I would just go home," I looked over to Jake, leaning far back in his chair getting the last drip of cola from the can. "Unless of course you don't have plans…"

"Nope. I have no plans. You want to stay longer."

"You're not bored of me yet?"

"Not possible. We can get a movie or something."

"Are you sure you don't have to patrol tonight?" Quil asked.  
"Sam hasn't told me anything." Jake responded.

"Hm, well we have to get going, don't we Embry?"

"Yes sir we do." Embry mock saluted.

"See ya guys." Jake waved and casually rose from his seat to recycle his can and get another soda.

"Bye Bella," Quil and Embry chimed in unison. They too rose from their seats heading towards the back door. I got up quickly, putting my soda on the floor below me and catching them before they left. I reached for Embry giving him a quick hug and then motioned to Quil. He took the sentiment more playfully, pulling me up into his arms and squeezing the life out of me.

"Bye Quil. And Embry." I smiled to both of them as Quil set me back on my feet.

"Don't have too much fun tonight Bella." They turned. "Jake call us tomorrow. We were thinking about getting everyone together."

"Sure thing." He waved to them. Then they were gone.

"You still want to watch a movie?"  
"Sure. Let me do this last thing with the truck and then we can go inside. At least this way I can get it running sooner."

"Ok. Do you need any help?"

"Sure. Can you bring me my toolbox?"

"No problem, this I can do. Just don't ask me to do anything mechanical."

"I wont."

He tinkered under the hood and took out a couple pieces of valuable machinery that he eventually put back inside. I watched him while he tightened bolts and twisted wires. His shirt lifted over his shoulders whenever he leaned forward enough. I could see a sliver of skin, just above his hips, when he bent farther over the hood. His hands, though covered in motor oil, were gentle and graceful, creating miracles were he moved them.

"Bells, I need you to go and try to start the engine for me."

"Okey dokey." I skipped over to the open driver side door. Jake shot me a smirk, enjoying my moment of frivolity.

I took my keys off of the passenger seat and stuck them into the ignition. I was hoping that we could get the truck running on the first shot. This way, I would be able stop worrying about my truck crossing through the light.

I turned the keys slowly, waiting for a miracle. The engine roared to life. I wanted to jump up and down.

Jake slammed down the hood and rubbed his hands together. A huge grin came across his face, his shoulders gently lowered in relief. I leaped from the cab and into Jake's arms. I nearly knocked him over, his body stiff with shock. I would have thought a werewolf, who could take out a villainous vampire, would have better reflexes. On most occasions he would, I am pretty sure he was just thrown off guard.

"You're a genius! I can't believe you fixed it!" I giggled as he struggled to find his balance with me hanging from his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer. I could feel him smiling into my hair, setting me down onto the ground but never letting go.

"It's no problem. Honestly, I could have done it with my eyes closed."

"I know you could. That is what is so great about you."  
"You're such a flatterer." He chuckled.

I pulled my face away from his shoulder and looked up into his eyes. They were dark and full of emotion. He was still smiling, but the longer I looked at him, the fainter that smile got. His stare became more scrutinizing and inquisitive, like he was waiting for my move. I was thinking, focusing on this moment. Once again I was in the turning point where I could make a life-changing decision. It was a chance for me to move forward with Jake, and that was what I wanted. I knew he could keep me happy and numb that slowly lessening ache in my chest. He could make me laugh on a daily basis, keep me smiling on the darkest of days, and keep me occupied when there was nothing to do.

I was going to do it.

I leaned forward, moving my eyes from his gaze and drifting down to his lips. With a swift move I closed the gap between us, his warm and soft lips brushing against mine. He didn't respond right away, pulling back to look me once again in the eyes. He was asking me if this was what I wanted. A smile played on my lips as I took his face in my hands. I ran my fingertips along his cheeks and jaw while moving my lips rhythmically against his. Our kiss was warm and smooth, full of understanding and completion. I couldn't say that the need for Edward was completely gone, but at the moment I didn't feel it.

Our kiss was not restrained or safe, it was strong and powerful. His hands were planted firmly on my waist, pulling me closer to him as his lips ravished me. My hands found their way to his neck so that I could raise myself to his level—he still needed to bend his knees a significant amount to keep it even. I felt his soft, thick hair run through my fingers as I wrapped my hands around his scalp. He let out a groan as I continued to work my fingers through his hair. I was struggling for breath, as was he. As if he read my mind, Jake took a break, working across my jaw and down my neck. I could feel the heat transferring from him to me. It was building inside of me, running up and down my spine, causing me to feel a rush of adrenaline I had never felt before.

The things Jake could make me feel.

"Bells, are you sure about this?"

"Yes. I couldn't be more sure."

It was everything I needed. His kiss was able to quench the itch I had been yearning for all this time. All the built up sexual tension that went unresolved between Jake and I was suddenly released. I knew it would only get worse if I had waited any longer to make this move. Not only was the kiss a revelation, but also it made up for all those months where I wasn't getting enough physical attention from Edward, who always pushed me away from going to far.

The smile that lit up his face was the most heartwarming thing I ever saw. There was a sudden glow that overcame him. His smile stretched from ear to ear, his white teeth were bright against his tan skin. His eyes were smiling at me and thanking me, for picking him. I knew he wanted this as bad as I did.

I brought his mouth back to mine as I felt Jacob moving slowly back towards the wall. My back was pressed firmly against the cement as he nibbled on my earlobe, successfully making me melt in his hands. My fingers found the bottom of his shirt and started tugging upwards. It didn't take him long to catch my implication because he swiftly pulled it off of his body in two seconds. I felt his perfectly muscled chest in my hands, his pecks and firmly toned eight pack lay before me like a golden statue.

"See anything you like?"  
"Definitely." I giggled.

His arms moved away from my body and trapped me on either side. His mouth came down closer to my ear as he abandoned his Jacob voice and entered his motorcycle riding, ass-kicking, super sexy voice that I loved—the same voice he used against me when he knew I was ogling him.

"I see you couldn't resist my charm any longer." His breath tickled my ear lobe and neck hairs. I could feel him smiling as he continued. "I can't tell you how long I waited for you to come to your senses."

"Me too. I think I have been going crazy since the last time we did this."

"You mean the last time, where we were so rudely interrupted?"

"The very one."

"But see, Embry is already gone so he wont be walking in anytime soon…"

"Right." I smiled.

He leaned farther into me, pressing his taut chest against my fully clothed one. I reached for the zipper on my jacket and slowly but surely lowered it. I watched as his eyes widened as my jacket fell to the floor.

I was trying my hardest to seduce him. This great new feeling was taking over me and all I wanted to do was get Jake alone in a room. Ever since our last kiss I couldn't help but want a second chance, without the interruptions, and maybe this was it. If I was reading his signs correctly, he wanted this too. All the times I had been pushed back and told that we were going to far were adding up. Jake wouldn't push me away or say no. I would get what I wanted and Jake would be the one to give it to me.

"Let's go inside." I suggested, pulling him by his belt loop toward the door.

"I really like this confident side of you, it's very sexy!"

We were kissing again and stumbling our way back towards the house. There was no way he could see when he had my body obstructing his view. He was focused on not removing his mouth from my body, making sure that every part of my neck and face received equal praise. I got a better grip on his shoulders and hoisted myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist, pressing my center against his groin, which drove him crazy. He held me there, admiring my forwardness, as we made it in the back door.

I was jerked forwards as Jake came to a complete standstill. He dropped me from his arms, my feet landing on the floor with a loud thud. The room was completely silent. I whipped around to find that Billy and Sam were standing stiff in the kitchen, gawking at our rather friendly entrance.

"So much for no interruptions," he whispered in my ear.

I was turning bright red, no doubt, while Jake stood tall and confident with a smirk on his face. He brought his arms around to wrap them around my waist and pull me against his chest, leaning his chin down on my shoulder. I loved how he could go from sexy to sweet in a moment's time. I wanted to pretend like we were innocently kissing, but I would be crazy to believe that Billy and Sam didn't know what we were up to. My intentions were not honorable. Billy was a lot cooler than my own father, but seeing his best friend's daughter wrapped around his underage son, might warrant an awkward conversation or scolding.

"Jake, Bella." Billy nodded to both of us. My eyes shot to the floor, I was almost drowning in embarrassment. Billy didn't look furious or even slightly disturbed at seeing us. That was a good sign, right?

"What's with the late night meeting?" Jake asked, obviously upset that his father and alpha were 'cock-blocking' him.

"Charlie called." Billy responded.

"What did he want?" I shyly spoke up.

"Were you aware that he had a visitor this evening?"  
"No."

"Yeah, it turns out someone came asking for you and then Chief Swan said that you were here. Apparently the visitor can't come here to find you, do you know what that means?" Sam added.

"No fucking way!" Jake shouted behind me, dropping his arms from my waist and stepping closer to Sam.

"What? I don't get it. Who visited my dad?" It wasn't necessary for me to ask. A small part of me already knew who it was. It was obvious, wasn't it?

"That's right. The Cullens are back in town."

_Oh. My. God._

* * *

A/N: Ok so I know it has been a while and you were probably left unsatisfied. For that I am truly sorry. I had a revelation today about my story and rewrote this entire chapter today. I have big plans for the next couple chapters and some of you might not like me very much for it. Things will work out for the best, just don't give up on me. Also I realize that there has been a lot of Bella's point of view. Jacob will get to speak his mind soon enough. I will try my hardest to get another chapter up very soon. Until then, Happy Holidays! You're always welcome to message me, I do read them and try very hard to respond in a timely fashion. Always appreciate your reviews. Don't be a stranger. Love you all very much.


	20. Chapter 20: Reunion

Bella POV

To say that Jake was angry would be the biggest understatement of the year. He was practically fuming and I could swear that the car was shaking beneath us. He was not happy about the return of the Cullens, to say the least. As soon as Sam had finished his sentence, Jake nearly threw himself at him, begging him to fill in the blanks of the sudden mad lib situation. We didn't know why they were here, how many of the Cullen's were visiting, or what business they were attending to. It certainly didn't pertain to me, because last I heard, I wasn't wanted.

I felt more than awkward to ask Jake for a ride home. After the sudden intrusion, once again, Jake was in no mood to continue our little rendezvous. I couldn't say that I was in the mood either after the bomb had been dropped. What was I going to do?

Billy gave me a disapproving look when I wanted to go home and Sam stood stern and proper. Jake wouldn't even look at me; he knew that I wanted to speak to the Cullens and that drove him over the edge. It wasn't like I had another choice. My truck had died earlier that afternoon, there was no way it would be fixed enough for my to drive home in the rain. Charlie was at home or work and I was without transportation, therefore I was forced to ask Jake for a ride. I didn't want to look him in the eye because I knew what I would see—disappointment.

The car ride was dark and depressing. Jake sat far back in the driver's seat, his arms outstretched to reach the steering wheel, and grabbing it with more than average force. His knuckles were starting to turn white with the force of his grip. I wanted to grab his hand and tell him that it was all right, that things would work out. I couldn't muster up the nerve to do it.

This was so unlike him. Normally he would be cracking jokes and finding new ways to make me smile. Now, he wouldn't even turn his head in my direction. I hadn't even done anything yet, but he was still ignoring me like the plague. I wouldn't drop this though; I couldn't have him mad at me. I'm not quite sure what I would do without him.

"Bella, you can stop looking at me like that. It wont get you anywhere."

"I just don't understand why you are so mad at me. I haven't done anything."  
"No of course you haven't, you just want to let the Cullens back into your life after everything that they have done to you!"

"I didn't say anything about them. I just want to find out what they want, same as you. They left, remember?"

"How could I forget? I pieced you back together after they left. You were in the worst shape I have ever seen. Bella, you couldn't even listen to music anymore, you barely spoke, you were having nightmares…they did that to you."

"I—"

"No, no, wait. They didn't do that to you, _he_ did. That is why I am so angry, because you aren't going to go and find out what _they_ want, you want to know what _he_ wants. I am right, aren't I?"

"I don't even know if he is back. How can you be mad for something that hasn't happened?"

"Yet. I know you Bella and all these months you have been trying to get over him, you haven't been able to. He is here now and you are telling me that you don't want to go back to him?"

"I don't know." My voice was shaking and my whisper was weak in comparison to Jake's strong, rough voice.

" Have the last couple days meant anything to you? Have the past couple _months_ meant anything? I thought you were finally starting to get over him, and maybe I was reading the signs incorrectly, but I thought you and I had something."

"We did, Jake, you are really important to me. Don't doubt that because the Cullens are back in town."

"I can't believe you! You still love him. You're going to let him back into your life after every thing he has done to you. It's ridiculous!"

This was the only time that I was afraid that we might veer off the road. We were already speeding and his anger issues were not making him a very good driver at the moment. If he were anyone else I might think that he would crash, but his concern for my safety told me that he wouldn't let that happen, no matter how mad at me he was.

Before I could look out the window to see where we were in our journey, the car had stopped across the street from my house. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, for over six months, while I wished that Edward would come back for me. I heard a door slam loudly as Jake removed himself from the car and stood before the hood. I took that as my cue to get out as well.

My hands were shaking and I was cold. There was nothing I needed more than for Jake to wrap me up in one of his amazingly warm hugs. Why did I have a feeling that I wasn't going to get one of those?

He was pacing before me, his hands nearly pulling out his hair. He only did that when he was really conflicted. He was avoiding eye contact with me and I hated it.

"Will you please look at me?" I pleaded.

When he did, I couldn't help feeling guilty for making him this upset. His voice was weaker and his expression had softened.

"These past couple days have been amazing. The kiss we shared was phenomenal and I know that if they weren't back, that we wouldn't be having this conversation. I know you felt something, you can't deny that. I really wish he wasn't here because I wish more than anything that things didn't need to change between us."

I moved forward so that I could reach out to him. He tried to pull away but I followed his steps, placing my hand gently on his forearm.  
"Things don't have to change between us."

"How can they not? As long as the Cullens are here, things can't be the same. The pack will still watch for Victoria, but I cant protect you here. The treaty still stands." He shrugged off my arm, turning towards the door of his car. He continued without turning around, "Call me when you take him back, so that I know what to tell Sam. He will want to adjust the treaty now that they are going to stay."

There was no way I could miss the blunt difference between him saying '_if_ you take him back' and '_when_ you take him back'. My mind was more clouded than I ever thought it could be. At the moment I wasn't sure what I was going to do about this whole situation, but I knew that there was a huge possibility that I could forgive Edward. Could he see through me so easily? He had always been able to understand my innermost emotional trouble without me hinting to anything.

I had to work up my nerve to stop him from leaving. I knew that he would make a strong argument to leave even through my protests, but I was willing to make the effort.

"Jake, I think you are seriously overreacting. Just understand that I need to talk to them. Don't write me off until I find out what is going on."

He finally turned and looked at me head on. His eyes looked near to tears. The rest of his face and body were stiff and guarded, but his eyes couldn't lie, not to me.

"If he is really back, then there is nothing in this world that could keep you from him. No matter how hard I tried to get you to see me, I will never compare to him." He pulled me close to him and kissed me once on the forehead. With that, he turned and got into the Rabbit. He started the engine, and then peeked his head out the window.

"Have a good life, Bella. Let me know as soon as you and the bloodsucker makeup, so I can avoid this part of town."

And he was gone.

I stood like a statue in the driveway for a moment while I waited for Jake to miraculously turn around and apologize for his harsh words that I hated for conspiring between us. He didn't turn around and he didn't come back for me. I almost forgot the reason for needing to go home in the first place, until I looked at Carlisle's black Mercedes across the seat.

I fumbled with my keys, before remembering that Charlie was no doubt home. The light from the living room was on, but the curtains were drawn over the windows. I took one deep breath and let myself in. I could hear giggling and Charlie's deep throated laugh.

"Hello?" I asked, peeking from behind the front door to find the source of the all-to-familiar laugh.

I was shocked by what I saw. There, seated in the living room, were Charlie, Alice, and Jasper sipping coffee.

"Alice!" I squealed, nearly throwing myself at her. She was eager to meet me with a hug, wrapping her cold, skinny arms, tightly around me. She smelled just the same, sweet and floral. Jasper came up behind her and Alice and I separated. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around Jasper to give him a tight squeeze. He stood frozen, trying to analyze my movements. Realizing my stupidity, I pulled back immediately. "I'm sorry Jasper. I guess I was just really happy to see you both."

"It's alright Bella. No harm done here. I am glad to see you too."

"So what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Things didn't work out with Carlisle's job at Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles. Clallam County Hospital offered him his job back. Isn't that great?" Alice chirped.

"Of course." The look we shared told me that she would fill me in on the details when Charlie was not around. But in order to make that excuse more believable to mortals, Alice needed to crack a joke.

"It turns out that Carlisle was not a big fan of the sun. Did you know that the average rainfall per year is only 14 inches?"

"No way." I faked my shock. Her little joke about vampires hating the sunshine went unnoticed by Charlie, who rose from his seat politely and excused himself from the room.

"I'll give you three a moment to talk."

"Thanks dad."

"Yes, I would like to catch up with Bella. Thank you for the coffee Charlie, I missed your company."

"You too, Alice. Jasper." Charlie nodded to the both of them and went up to his room.

Charlie had always adored Alice, ever since spring break last year when she helped take care of me. Though never a big fan of Edward, my father made certain privileges available to his sister. Speaking of…

"So is Edward here?"

Alice led me to the couch so that we could sit together and talk. Jasper took the seat in the recliner across the way.

"Yes, Bella, Edward is here. He is off hunting. We came to see you once we got into town. Charlie told him that you were with Jacob and he figured he would wait until you came home to spring the news on you."

"What news?"

"Well, don't freak out, but we came back because I had some pretty interesting visions of Victoria. I'm not positive of what she is planning but I know that it's big. She's been gathering forces somewhere north."

"That's why the pack hasn't been catching her trail…" I whispered to myself.

"About that, Bella did you think it was a good idea to consort with werewolves? Honestly, what kind of trouble have you been getting yourself into while we were away?"  
"I didn't know that he was a werewolf when we starting hanging out together. He is a really great guy, I promise, and he has been taking excellent care of me."

She sniffed a couple times around me. "I can tell."

"Really. Alice what are you all doing here? When Edward left he said that he didn't want me anymore."

"Bella don't you understand that he only said the things he did so that he could protect you?"

I sat in shock for a moment. What was she talking about? Hadn't Edward meant everything he said? I believed him that easily and he had been adamant about what he said. How could he have faked all those feelings? It never made sense for Edward to be in love with me. It only made sense for him to leave me.

"Look, I said I wouldn't say anything. Edward wants to explain himself so let's go back to the house. Esme is cooking dinner and she would be pleased to see you."

Esme wouldn't cook unless she knew there was a human joining them. I looked to the hallway where Charlie now stood. _Good cover, Alice._

"Charlie would you like to join us? Esme is making pot roast. She really missed the big kitchen." Alice cheered.

"No thank you, Alice. I think I am going to turn in early tonight. Bella, can I speak to you alone in the kitchen. It will just take a moment."

Alice nodded, leaning forward to give me another hug. "We'll give you a minute. Jasper why don't we go and start up the car."

"I'll meet you outside." I agreed.  
I stood to join my dad in the kitchen. He looked less than pleased with the whole situation.

"Bella are you sure about this?"

"I'm just going to dinner."

"I know. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I wont."

"You were in so much pain when they left and you were just starting to smile again with Jake. Do you want to throw that all away for a boy that might jet off again?"

"Look dad, I have heard all this from Jake. I need you both to trust me to make my own decisions." I kissed him on the cheek. "I love you dad. Don't wait up for me. I promise to call if I plan to be out too late."

"Be careful sweetheart." He patted me on the shoulder and turned to go back up to his room.

I made my way out the door to find Carlisle's car waiting for me. Alice was smiling in the driver's seat. Jasper politely got out of the passenger's seat to open the door for me. I gracefully sat down on the cold leather as Alice jetted us off in the direction of the Cullen's. I could have sworn I saw a pair of dark brown eyes through the trees behind my house, but maybe I was just imagining things.

***

The Cullen's house looked the exact same as I remembered from when it was inhabited. While they were gone, I had visited, but the house did not have the same glow. It wasn't the same home without the people inside it that made it great.

The light from the windows reflected onto the driveway. I could see through the wide glass that the whole family was in the living room. I exited the car very cautiously, but Alice would have none of it. She was by my side in a flash, wrapping her arm around mine and pulling me up the stairs and through the door.

"Bella!" I heard three voices all chime at once. Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett—big, silly Emmett.

Esme was first to approach me. She looked the same as I remember, but why wouldn't she? She would never age or change, always staying the same beautiful, young, mother. Her thick brown hair and graceful smile made me feel so comfortable. She adapted her role as a mother so easily after losing her own child. I knew that even though she didn't have children of her own, that she was a great mother; it was almost as if she were made for the job.

I felt her arms wrap around me in a soft hug, despite her rock-hard limbs. "Esme, I've missed you."

"It's so good to have you here. I've made dinner if you're hungry. Pot roast with potatoes." She smiled, coaxing me with her delicious food.

"That sounds lovely."

"Carlisle!" I smiled as he came up behind his wife. She stepped back so that he could embrace me as well. He still smelled of antiseptic from a hospital. The scarf around his neck tickled my chin as he pulled out of our hug.

"Bella, it is so nice to see you. How have you been?"

"Fine. How are you?" Sure I was lying a bit. If they had known how I was when they were gone, I know it would have raised particular grievances.

"Very well."

Carlisle was kindly pushed out of the way so that Emmett could slide right in and pull me up into a bone-crushing hug.

"Hi Emmett." I managed to make out between being twirled around. When he put me back on the ground I was dizzy. I nearly lost my balance until two strong, but watchful arms caught me and held me upright.

"Edward."

"Hello, Bella." He spoke eloquently. I took in his appearance after nearly eight months without seeing him, and it was like the sun after a long and cold Alaskan winter. But, he wasn't the sun, he was far from it. He was the moon, white, cold, and rock-like in the best of ways.

My chest was pulsing, for my heart couldn't take the sudden beating it was taking. My heart was fluttering and trying to make up for all the holes that had been riddled through it. The pain I felt from missing him was not gone, but at the moment I couldn't feel any sort of pain. There were no doubt scars, but Edward was holding me together right now.

"If you would like to sit down and eat, we can explain everything." Carlisle offered.  
"Yes, thank you."

Edward removed his hands from my back, letting me balance on my own and he headed into the kitchen without looking directly at me. He was keeping something from me.

I was lead, with a group, into the kitchen. Esme dished up a plate of pot roast and herb potatoes, set it in front of me, and watched me enjoy it. I was a gerbil in a cage, with seven pairs of interested eyes—actually only five pairs because Rosalie couldn't care less, and Edward seemed to be avoiding me.

"It's amazing, Esme, thank you."

"No trouble at all. Cooking is a delight, something I have really missed doing."

I nibbled on a wedge of potato while we sat in complete silence. I decided that since no one else would, that I needed to break the silence.

"So can someone explain what all this Victoria business if about?"

"Yes, of course. Alice, would you care to describe your vision?" Carlisle delegated, while placing a hand on Esme's back.

"Well Bella I was sitting in New Hampshire when I got the vision that we had all been waiting for. I saw Victoria and then flashes of different newborns. They were hungry—I could tell by their eyes. She looks as though she is building up forces in the north and she is planning something really big. I can't tell when she is thinking about making a hit, but it will be a major hit on you. I knew that as soon as I saw this that I needed to gather the family and come to see you. Bella, I don't want to scare you, but she is really dangerous and with these newborns she could do serious damage."

I sipped my milk while I digested what Alice had just said.

"We talked about this and we decided that the best way to solve this is to face it head on. We want to make sure that Victoria doesn't get to you and get rid of her before she causes more damage." Carlisle added.

"But I didn't think that you—"

"Bella, would you like to take a walk with me?" These were the first real words that he had spoken to me. If I was going to get anywhere, I needed to get some answers.

"Um, sure, but I don't see why—"

"Bella, please. I will explain everything." I couldn't say no to him, especially when he looked deep into my eyes like he was. The gold from his irises were melting me from the inside out. For a moment, I couldn't remember why I sad in the first place.

I nodded and took his hand. His family left us to speak alone, ghostly making their way into the living room while Edward led me outside. His hand was cold and wonderful, just how I remembered it, but the ominous walk through the forest only reminded me of less happy memories.

"Bella, I have wanted more than anything to explain to you the reasons why I did what I did. I should have never left you in the first place. I only left because I thought I was keeping you safe. I was putting your life in danger and I though that if I left, I could keep you safe."  
"But you said you didn't love me. You said that I wasn't worth sticking around for."  
"I lied. I needed you to believe me so that you could move on. I wanted you to find a normal relationship, one that didn't jeopardize your life. You needed someone who could make you happy."  
"But, you said you didn't want me. You said you would be easily distracted."  
"I needed to make you think that. You believed me so easily and I hate that you had so little faith in us, in what we had together. Do you understand how much I love you? My feelings for you never faded in the least. I almost lost myself while I was away. I wanted so many times to come back to Forks and see you. In the end I decided against it, figuring that you would not get a fair chance at finding happiness if you knew I was here."  
"Edward, I thought that you were never coming back. To be honest I spent months wishing that you would come back and whisk me off of my feet. I never stopped loving you."

He stopped us from moving any further and turned to face me. He stroked his thumb over the tops of my hands and brought my eyes up to meet his.

"Can you ever forgive me? I know that I hurt you, but I cant live without you any longer, Bella. I need you in my life and without you I couldn't think straight. As soon as I heard about Victoria I tried tracking her down. I never thought she would come after you. I was beside myself with worry. That is why I needed to come back. I don't ever want to be without you again. I understand fully if you have moved on. I will go away and never bother you if you are happier without me, but if you can find it in yourself to pardon me then I will forever be by your side."

I couldn't think straight. So much information in so little time was making me weak in the knees. He still loved me and he left to protect me? He wanted to stay and be with me forever. This was what I had wanted ever since I met him, and when he left I couldn't manage to picture his eyes without crying. Was this all meant to be?

Without thinking I leaned forward and pressed my lips delicately to his. He wasted no time in returning the kiss, staying a gentleman and ending it shortly after it began. It was chaste and polite, just like Edward. I loved it just as much as I had before he left.

"Can you forgive me?"  
"Yes." I whispered, only half sure of my answer. He kissed me once more, a little longer than before and my doubts were clear. I wanted him and there was no way I would let him go back to wherever he flew in from. He pulled me into a hug and I could smell his delicate scent that had drawn me in our first day of biology.

"Come, Esme has prepared dessert for you as well."

I smiled and took his hand, following him back to the house. I was more than happy that I was with Edward, the love of my life. I had gotten back the thing that I wanted most in my life, the same thing I was pining over since September.

The only thing I could manage to think about, amidst my newfound comfort was what am I going to tell Jake?

* * *

A/N: I have the outline for the next two chapters and I will try my hardest to get those up in a couple days. Happy holidays to everyone (and Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate it). I understand if you hate me and/or Bella at the moment, maybe Edward too. Its understandable. I know the Bella and Edward chat was a little short and non-descriptive but I couldnt bring myself to write more when all I really wanted was for her to slap him and walk away...I have a plan and Jake needs some love. In a perfect world I would be the girl to give it to him, but sadly I cant. Things will get complicated and steamy and dramatic so watch out for updates very soon in the future. Love you. xoxo Noel Alexa.


	21. Chapter 21: You Make Me Want You Still

Jacob POV

_Who was it that led you on_

_That made you want to hurt me so?_

_Who are you out to forget_

_Who's forgot you long ago?_

I could try and pretend like she didn't hurt me, but then I would be lying to myself. Hurt was the weakest adjective I could use to describe what I felt. Betrayed, infuriated, dejected, thrown out…

We had a chance, a real chance, at making something great. We were making something great before that fucking leech had to come back and ruin it all. It had taken months for Bella to break out of her shell, and when she did I could tell that we would never be just friends, again. I knew she had feelings for me, which she showed on more than one occasion, and that is what makes this so hard. The 'if's are clawing at me. The two of us would have been happy and satisfied. But not now. She blew it.

I waited six hours, paced my bedroom, and stared at the fridge before I got the nerve to go back to Bella's house. I sat in the woods outside her window and watched as the leech drove her home. I wanted to run out then, and tell her how I shouldn't have talked to her the way I did. I was going to, until the leech reached down and kissed her. She kissed him back.

There are some things that you can't forget, things that you wish you could un-see. This was one of those things. I didn't want to think about how Bella had been kissing _me_ just hours before, and how now she was getting cozy with someone who left her. I wanted to rip his eyes out and beat him to a bloody pulp, the fucker, but I couldn't. I was stuck in the woods, frozen heart and frozen body.

She made good on her promise, for she called the next day. It was so hard to pick up when I knew what I would hear. Sure enough she managed to tell me that she was staying with Edward, that his family was planning on staying for a long time, and that she understood if I didn't want to talk to her.

It's been four weeks.

The first week I sat in my room and pretended to have the stomach flu. I didn't feel like going to school or town, with the possibility that Bella would be prancing around with her boyfriend.

The second week Bella started calling every hour until I unplugged the phone. I spent the least time at home that week, avoiding Billy and Charlie when he came over. I ran extra patrols, to feel the rush of running as a wolf, and also because we had a Victoria threat now.

The third week I got a letter from Bella. I read it and then burnt it on the beach. It said something like "I am really sorry and should have handled this differently but I love Edward…" blah, blah, blah.

The calls finally died down about two days ago. Without the constant ringing and beeps of the answering machine, I could finally think. I had gone over it and over it. The source of the problem was not in my control. At first I blamed the leech, then Bella, then myself. It was no one's fault that I was currently sitting alone on the beach. You can't help whom you love. You can't stop loving someone just because they don't love you back. This kind of love is deeper than a high school crush; I was hopelessly in love with Bella Swan while she was still in love with Edward, even with everything he did to her. Things were not going to work out for the two of us. I wasn't meant to have her, he was. The sooner I accepted it, the sooner I could move on.

_Started with a perfect kiss_

_Then we could feel the poison set in_

_Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so_

_I love you enough to let you go_

I practically leaped off of the driftwood log. I wasn't getting anywhere, by sitting here and moping over a girl. Who said that I had to find the girl of my dreams at sixteen, and never love again? I could find someone who wanted me back, someone who chose me first and never second.

Screw this whole situation. If Bella wasn't able to see what a great thing we could have, then I wasn't going to waste my time trying to show her. If she was so set on having Edward forever, that was her decision. I just hope she knows what she is getting into…and missing out on.

I would let her go. I would set her free, no longer telling her who was the better choice or trying to make her love me back. This was her life and she was making her own choices. I was wasting my youth, pining over a girl who would never feel the same about me. I'm a teenager and I should be dating up a storm, not trying to plan the rest of my life. If I was going to be stuck in La Push for the rest of my life, then I should at least get over my girl problems.

I walked home, not bothering to phase. The wind in my hair felt nice, having a chance to think to myself without the pack reading my every thought. Things were tenser than ever with the hunt for Victoria. I felt like the challenge had been amped up ever since the Cullens brought news of her little army.

I hated thinking that Bella was in more danger than before. With this current situation between she and I, the pack couldn't protect her in Forks like we could before. That was the Cullen's job now. What if they couldn't do it? Sure, they were strong, but the only ones I trusted to protect her, were us. At least the wolves wouldn't turn on her because of bloodlust.

When I got home, dad's car was in the driveway and the lights were on in the house. I made my way up the porch and through the door, almost tripping over three suitcases in the doorway.

"What the hell?"

I recognized the bags that almost broke my leg. They were the same pink and black polka dots I had been used to packing in the truck on all family vacations. I flipped the bag over with my foot, to reveal the cursive R.B she wrote with silver Sharpee.

"Rachel?"

"Baby brother?" She called out, her melodic voice ringing through the house. She stepped from behind her doorway down the hall and ran towards me, throwing herself in my arms. "I missed you Jake. How long has it been?"

"Since Christmas I think."  
"Ah, yes, the famous Black and Swan Christmas. Dad burnt the turkey remember?"

"Of course I remember. It was awful and we ended up eating pizza." I laughed. I set her down on her feet and she put her hands on her hips, smiling up at me.

She looked practically the same since the last time I saw her. Her hair was a little longer, falling to the crook in her arm, thick and soft like our mother's. She had a soft glow in her cheeks from the sunnier skies in Seattle.

"You look good, Rachel."

"And you look like crap." She smirked. Her hand twisted around my arm as she pulled me towards the couch. "Tell me all about her."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me about the girl who broke your heart. Trust me, I can tell."

I gave her a skeptical look.

"Plus Billy told me about it. So little Bella huh? I always knew you had a thing for her."

"Shut up Rach. You're the last person I am going to talk about my love life with."

"No seriously. Tell me. I can help. I am a girl you know."

"Really? I couldn't tell." I joked. She slapped me in the arm but laughed along with me.

"So, what happened?" She asked, her voice softening as the tone in her voice got more serious.

"It's really nothing. I thought she liked me and then her ex came back."  
"And she just went back to him?"

"Yup."

"But you still love her right?"

"Rach, I seriously don't want to talk about this. I'm over it."

"Obviously not. Dad said that you have been moping around for weeks. This wasn't just a crush, was it?"  
"No it wasn't." It was so much more than a crush. I wanted to marry her and grow old with her. She was the one I was meant to be with, as cheesy as that sounds.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. She's missing out if she can't see how amazing you are." She rubbed my shoulders and kissed my cheek in a cute sort of sisterly way.

Rachel had always been the more loving one of my two sisters. Rebecca had moved to Hawaii to attend school, married a local, and rarely called home. Though Rachel had always been the popular party girl, she found time to pay attention to her little brother when I really needed it.

"Thanks." I pulled her into a bear hug. I had missed her more than I thought. She came home a couple times a year when she got a break from school. Normally she took vacations with her friends instead of coming home to Billy and me. I guess I didn't blame her, we could be pretty boring.

"What are you doing home anyways?" I asked, surprised she was here so early in the spring.

"I took finals early and decided to spend the summer here. Please, hide your enthusiasm." Her eyes squinted as she looked me up and down. " You know, I could ask you the same question. What are you doing home on a Saturday night?"

"I was on the beach, thinking."

"Sounds fun." She popped up from the couch, adjusting her pink sweat pants and turned towards me. "Come on, get up. Emily called and invited us to dinner and her and Sam's place. I've been dying to see the crew and you're going to take me."

"You really want to spend a night with a whole bunch of adolescent boys?"

"Yes, I am not as shallow as you make me out to be. I like the guys and I've been dying to see Emily."

She skipped off to her room to get changed, while I waited in the living room. Billy wheeled himself out.

"Hey son."

"Hey dad, Rachel really staying all summer?"

"Yes. She broke up with a guy and needed some time away from her friends. She got here only hours ago and already her room looks the same as it did when she lived here. Her stuff is everywhere." He sighed, shaking his head from side to side, his white-grey hair barely touching his shoulders.  
"Some things never change. Are you coming to Sam's for dinner?"

"If you don't mind."

"No that sounds great. Emily is such a great cook, I'm sure dinner will be amazing."

"Ok we should probably head over there soon. I'll grab my coat. Would you mind driving?"

"Yeah, let me get Rachel and then we can go."

I dared to enter Rachel's room, hoping she wouldn't be upset that I was 'invading her space' or something. I knocked on the doorway and nudged the door open.

"Rach, we're going to be leaving soon. You almost ready?"

"Almost, just getting my shoes."

I pushed the door open so that I could see her. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in a dress, with her makeup done, and jewelry on.

"Wow, Rach, we're just going over to Sam's."

"Well, I don't want to look like I just sat in a car for four hours." She stood up and flattened the skirt of the dress. "Now tell me I look beautiful so we can go."  
"You look beautiful, sis."

"Thank you, Jake. How sweet of you." She led me out of the room and we met up with Billy on the porch.

"Well, Rachel don't you look nice."

"Thanks dad. Now lets get going, we don't want to be late."

***

"Rachel, tell us about school. Billy only gives us so much information. How were finals?" Emily asked, dishing up more mashed potatoes. Sue was helping her in the kitchen, putting assortments of foods on platters and handing them to Emily so she could set them on the table.

"Well, finals are always a pain, but I got through them. Most of my classes are nice, quite large, but I like my professors."

"That's great!" Sue chimed in.

Embry and Quil were practically drooling over the food that Emily had set out on the table. There was a roast too, with potatoes, steamed vegetables, baked pasta, and three different types of pie. We were gathered in the living room, standing while talking to each other. Rachel was the most popular victim for questions and I could tell she was getting a bored. Sam had ordered us to wait until everyone had arrived. We were still waiting on a few people. Leah and Seth had agreed to stop by, even though it was hardest for Leah to be here with all of us.

Quil was leaning against the dining room table, his hands slipping behind him so that he could pull a piece of meat from the platter. Emily had her eyes on him the whole time and slapped his hand away before he could destroy the perfect presentation.

There was a shuffling sound from the porch and then the screen door swung open. Rachel jumped out of her skin and bolted to the front door. Leah, who hadn't anticipated Rachel, almost fell backwards as she was thrown into a hug.

"Oh. My. God. I feel like it's been ages since I have seen you. How are you Lee?" Rachel laughed, squeezing Leah's waist with enormous force. Leah hugged her back with the same intensity. The two of them had been such good friends before Rachel went off to college. Leah was smiling a real smile I hadn't seen from her in a long time. In an instant she was the old Leah again.

"You look different. Something about you has changed. Did you change your hair?" Leah asked, pulling away from the hug and taking in Rachel's appearance.

"Yeah, I got bangs."  
"That must be it. You look great by the way." She complimented.

"So do you! This whole wolf thing is really working for you. You look healthy and strong. I'm sure you could kick my ass now."

"You bet, Black. Do you remember that summer when we were arguing about some boy and then our dads had to pull us apart for fighting in town?" Leah laughed like nothing had changed and they were still the same thirteen year best friends.  
"I totally forgot about that. You were so angry at me for ripping your favorite shirt." Rachel laughed.

"Yeah and I pulled your hair."

"I would have liked to see that." Quil whispered to me. Leah shot him a cursory glance.

"I can't believe we were so stupid to fight over a crush like that." The two of them were laughing so hard. They had their arms wrapped around each other's waists as they stood there and looked at us.

"Wow, Seth you have gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw you. You used to be tiny like Jake and now look at you. You beefed up." Rachel commented.

"Hey!" He and I whined in unison.

"It's a compliment. You look good."

"Thanks." He shrugged, taking advantage of the wolf genes. He had 'aged' quite a bit since phasing.

"I'm starved, can we eat?" Leah asked. When her eyes found Sam and Emily holding each other in the kitchen, they lost the sparkle from the past couple minutes. It was hard for her to be here, in this house, but she was doing it for Rachel. She put on a brave face and smiled at the two of them. It took Sam off guard. He was expecting the normal Leah, to be grumpy and bitchy, but instead she was polite. He smiled back and Emily looked ecstatic.

"We're still waiting for Jared and Paul. They were on patrol last and should have been here ten minutes ago." I answered.

"Paul was never one for timing," Rachel sighed. "I'm going to use the rest room while we wait." She excused herself, letting go of Leah and passing through the house.

Out of the corner of the window I could see two figures coming towards the house. There was a scuffle and two loud, bellowing laughs rang through the house. Paul and Jared came tumbling through the front door, laughing their asses off.

"Sorry we're late. Paul bet me that he could get this girl's phone number in town." Jared said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Who won the bet?" Leah scoffed.

"I did of course. Girls can't resist me." Paul gloated, lifting his arm up to reveal the ink phone number scribbled on his forearm with a girls name written under it with a heart.

"Pig." Leah joked, shoving him playfully.

"What is this about a girl's phone number?" Rachel asked, moving down the hallway towards us. When she saw Paul proudly holding up his prize she smiled to herself. "You never change."

He looked up to meet her eyes and froze. His body got really stiff and his jaw dropped. I know Rachel looked nice tonight, in her dress with her hair done, but he had seen her since she hit puberty and starting looking more like a girl and less like my sister.

"Rachel?" His voice sounded weak and disbelieving as he took one step towards her. She didn't respond she just stood there smiling at him.

No one dared to move or interrupt them. Sam stood with his brow furrowed, trying to analyze the situation. I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Billy wheeled himself closer to Rachel and put his hand on her back. She turned to face him with a shocked look on her face. Billy's light bulb went off, as he finally understood. He motioned to Sam who came over to the three of them.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, angry that no one felt it was necessary to fill us in on what had happened. Sam looked me in the eyes and communicated with one nod what I had feared. Paul had imprinted on my sister.

I felt the sudden urge to punch him. I wanted my sister to find someone good for her and not be forced into loving someone with wolf genes. He was a player and an asshole. He was my brother, but sometimes he would take things way too far. She deserved someone better than Paul. I felt compelled to say something.

"Shit Paul! You could have imprinted on anyone in the fucking world and you had to pick my sister!"

"It's not like I had a choice or anything." He responded, not at all ashamed.

"Fuck this." I shouted, heading for the door. I wasn't going to be in a room with two brand new imprintees. That was not my idea of a good time. The whole world got to be happy and destiny stepped in to help them out. Where was my happy ending? When would I get the chance to be with the one I loved and needed?

I stormed off the porch and into the woods, tossing my clothes and phasing. Leah was already out there. No one, including myself, had seen her exit. I realized how seeing another member of the pack imprint would affect her. She had been the victim of a bad pair. Sam and Emily getting together had practically ruined her life. If anyone were as upset about love as I was, it would be her.

_Hey_

_ What are you doing here Black? Shouldn't you be congratulating your sister or something?_

_ No. She's deserves better than Paul. Besides, I'm not one to jump up and down for other people finding love. The world just wants to screw me over. _

_ I know what you mean. I heard about Bella and the leech. That was pretty bitchy if you ask me. I really thought she was into you. _

_ You're not helping at all. _

_ Sorry. _

_ I know. I really am sorry about Sam. I understand how much that must still hurt. _

_ No you don't, but thanks anyways._

_ I'm here if you want to talk. _

_ Thanks Jake. _She sighed. I could see her mind following her memories of Sam and I almost hurt to watch. _I'm going to head home. Are you heading that way?  
Might as well. _

Leah and I were silent the whole way home. She didn't want to talk about how badly the memory of imprinting hurt her, and I certainly wasn't going to bring up the fact that Bella skewered my heart and set it on fire.

I nodded to Leah when she saw her house in sight and headed off towards it. I just kept running until I got home. I phased and made my way through the back door. I pulled the sweat pants from my door handle and slipped them on. I moved down the hallway, running my fingers along the walls that Bella and I had painted. I could almost smell her as my mind took me back to that night. She had been so sexy and open with me. I was reminded of our first kiss, the way she didn't hold back, and then the second kiss in the garage.

My eyes snapped open when I came to the end of the hallway and she stood in front of me. Her eyes were big and beautiful, her arms wrapped around herself. She was really here, in my living room, staring straight at me.

I wanted to run to her and wrap my arms around her, kiss her like she had never been kissed before, and whisk her off her feet. I hadn't seen her in four weeks and missed her so much. I couldn't bring myself to move an inch. She hurt me and I had done so well at giving her space. I wasn't going to push her for answers or make her apologize. She didn't owe me anything.

I tried to tell her with just my eyes how much I wished she wasn't here now, but I failed. No matter how mad at her I was, there was no way I could help wanting to hold her. She broke me down and made me a love struck boy again.

We didn't speak for a long time. I simply stood there looking at her, a thousand emotions coursing through me. I crossed my arms across my chest, trying to anchor myself in place; I was dangerously close to wanting to hold her, but I needed to stay strong.

"What are you doing here Bella?"

"You don't lock your front door." She mumbled.

"I didn't mean in my living room. I meant, what are you doing here in La Push, in my house? Shouldn't you be at home with the Cullens?"  
"I came here for you, Jake. I needed to see you."

"Just now? What about the last four weeks?"

"You wouldn't answer my phone calls. I knew the only way I was going to see you, was if I just came down. I should have come a while ago, I know but I was giving you time to cool off."

"I don't want to see you, Bella."

"You don't want to see me?" She asked, her voice cracking. I could tell she was mere syllable away from tears.

"No. You hurt me, Bella, really bad. How can you expect me to talk to you after what you did?"

"I came to apologize, Jake. I need you to understand why."

"I don't need you to explain anything. You love him. I get it."

"No you don't get it. I love you to and I still need you."  
"Why would you need me?"

"You're my sun."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I knew I was shaking and I couldn't lose myself, not here and now. I wanted to believe her, more than anything, but if I did she would still go back to him. There was nothing I could do or say that would make her change her mind about us. The longer she stayed here, the harder it would be to let her go.

"Just go, Bella. I can't talk to you right now."

"Why are you calling me Bella? You never call me that."

"It's your name isn't it?" I knew it was strange for me to call her Bella, I only did when things were serious between us. I couldn't bear to call her Bells now, because it just reminded me of falling in love with her.

"Well yes but—," she sighed, giving up. "I guess."

I turned to leave, not wanting to look at her anymore. "Let yourself out, will you?"

"Ok." She whispered. I could hear the tears in her voice now. I had made her cry and it was killing me. _She_ was killing me.

I kept walking, not able to turn around and comfort her, for I was already pushing it. I went into my bedroom and slammed the door behind me, fell face down onto my bed and waited. I waited until I heard her footsteps carry her to the truck, hearing the door slam and engine start. The rumbling of the truck stalled for a minute until she pulled out of the drive and found her way back to the road.

Once I was sure she was gone, I broke down. I cried into my pillow until I was so tired I fell asleep. I dreamt of Bella, of course, and it hurt more than reality at this point. In my dream she was so happy, with me and us together, there were no conflicts or vampires, just her and me.

I wished more than anything that we could really have that, but when I woke up the world was the same. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and my family was as blissful as ever.

* * *

A/N: The song lyrics are Breaking by Anberlin and Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson.


	22. Chapter 22: Don't Be So Sure of Anything

**Alice's POV**

"How about red? I've always thought that a deep red would suit you…possibly even a purple. What do you think Bella?"

"Sure. I just hate the orange one." Bella replied, sorting through the endless amounts of dresses, scoffing occasionally with her adorable human distaste. I appreciated the effort she was putting into today. A girl can only graduate high school, human, once.

It was quite sad actually. Forks High was a nice place. The people were so gracious and the campus itself was exquisite, surrounded by redwood trees and kelly green moss. I would miss Forks a lot when we eventually had to leave due to age related reasons. As a rule, we never stayed in one city for longer than three years. It was possible that we could hide amongst the trees, but eventually we would have to move on.

Of the twenty-something times I had attended college in my years, this most recent experience was my favorite. Bella was a huge part of that. I wish more than anything that she will chose to go with us if we must leave. Once upon a time, before Edward grew a conscious and made us leave, Bella had wanted to join our family. Wouldn't that just be lovely? She and I would be perfect sisters. The family adored her and eventually Rosalie would warm up to the idea of having Bella around permanently.

It was obvious that Edward was adamant about keeping her in his life, after his little stint of trying to live without her, he learned that it was nearly disastrous for his health. These past few weeks have been a delight. Bella has been spending all of her free time that Charlie will allow with us. Esme is more than delighted to use the kitchen again, stuffing Bella with her assorted dishes she learned to prepare when we vacationed in Italy.

Time was passing so fast, faster than I had realized. It was the end of the school year already and graduation was upon us. As a sisterly surprise, I offered to drive Bella to Bainbridge to get some shopping done. She needed a formal dress almost as much as a vampire needed blood. Her closet was seriously lacking.

Bloomingdales smelled of Chanel perfume and tissue paper. _How delightful_. The huge benefit of shopping on a weekday had to be the almost vacant department stores; no one to crowd the dressing rooms, and less customers to argue over who deserves the last pair of Badgley Mishka heels.

"Alice, I have way too many dresses. Can I please go try these on now?" Bella called from behind a mannequin.

"I'll be right over." I answered, pulling the last three dresses I had my eye on, and skipping over to where Bella was slouching.

"Ok. Try on these. I already know your size and they should all fit," grabbing the silver one I recanted my previous statement "except this one. I believe it's a size smaller, but it's the only one left."

"Alright. Where are the dressing rooms?" She asked pleasantly. I pointed to the corner hallway that lead to yet another room full of mirrors. She took the dresses from my hands as she made her way across the marble.

There was something about Bella's disposition today that was different about most days. Lately, she was so quiet, and somehow today brought out a smile. I noticed that most of the time, she was overly melancholy. She clung to Edwards arm as if he was about to evaporate into thin air. And when they spoke about the future, she was guarded. In most aspects of her life, she showed reserve; protecting herself from a fear I couldn't understand. Then, randomly, on sunny days like today, she would be smiling and perky like, well, me.

I was sitting outside of her door, by the large 360-degree mirror when Bella peeked her head from behind the changing room door, biting her lip.

"Come on out. I want to see!" I was eager to see which dress she had finally decided on.

She cautiously moved around the door, making sure it didn't lock her out. My jaw dropped. She stepped closer to where I sat and waited for my response.

The dress fit her beautifully. It was a deep burgundy, a-line, knee length dress, with a wide v-neck and thin straps. The color complimented her skin color and made the red of her lips pop. Edward was going to flip.

"Bella, you look beautiful! That's the one. You have to get it." I squealed, jumping from my chair to turn her around. The back looked equally stunning on her.

"You really think so? I wasn't sure if it's a good graduation dress. I will be covered by a graduation cap practically the whole night."

"Quit making excuses. You're getting this one." I smiled at her and she returned it, glancing over her shoulder at the dress once more. I could see the smile in her eyes when she assessed herself in it.

---

"So, tell me about this Jacob Black?"

"What?" She almost spit out her food.

"He's your best friend, correct?"

"Um, sort of. We haven't been talking much." She chewed nervously on the straw of her soda. It was obvious that talking about him was hurting her. She kept her eyes down on the table instead of looking up at me.

"It's not too late to fix that. Tell me what he is like. I want to know what it is about him that makes Edward so annoyed."

"Wait, what?"

"Something he overheard in the pack mind bothered him, and I'm almost certain it was about you and Jacob. Spill the beans, girl." I joked, yet her expression remained hesitant.

She took a deep breath and began. "Well, I've known him all my life. Charlie and his father Billy are best friends. Apparently our parents where double dating before we were born."

"Wait, Billy _Black_?"

"You know him?" She cocked her head at me in confusion. Of course I knew Billy Black, son of Ephriam Black, the alpha of the pack when we had first moved to Forks. We had arranged the treaty with him when we settled in the woods. Needless to say, Ephriam was not pleased, but Carlisle managed to find a diplomatic solution. I should have known that the same Billy that Charlie is always off with, was of the same wolf descent at Ephriam. I wonder if Bella knows about the alpha blood? "Is something the matter, Alice?"

"No, no. Please continue."

"Ok, um, we started hanging out in January…after you left. Jacob is a year and half younger than me. That would make him a sophomore, but he's very mature for his age. He's had a lot of stress in his life. His mother dying, his father being in a wheelchair, phasing…but somehow he manages it. He couldn't tell me about the wolf stuff at first, but once I knew we were back to being best friends. We did everything together, and spent time doing nothing because somehow we could always find entertainment in each other. I got really comfortable being in La Push. He was able to get me out of my depression. Needless to say Charlie was pleased. I guess he was my saving grace, always saving me from myself. He has this innate way of making me smile and laugh without trying. His smile is almost contagious, you can't help but smile when he does,"

I could see how her eyes lit up when she talked about being there with him. The corners of her mouth would occasionally twitch upward when she said Jacob's name.

" The pack is really great, even though Edward insists that they are dangerous. They're just a bunch of teenage boys, only they also have supernatural abilities. Paul can lose his temper, and Jared is always playing jokes but the rest of them are good friends of mine…" the smile faded from her face.

"Is he nice to you?"  
"Jacob couldn't be rude if he tried. He's sweet and gentle despite his size and strength. He's an amazing friend, I just wish I had been a better one to him."

"And you say he pulled you out of that storm?"  
"Yes. He's saved me on multiple occasions." She shrugged and silently laughed to herself, rolling her eyes. "He has a knack of doing that actually."

"You know that I would never condone spending any amount of time around an unstable pack of young werewolves, and completely agree with Edward in keeping you away, but Jacob seems like a nice guy." I sighed and watched her faintly nod. "What happened exactly? Why are you not friends anymore?" I asked, now curious as to how a friendship, described so beautifully, could have faltered.

"Well, we got very close, and he started to act differently around me…well, I guess we both sort of … I might of…kissed him a few times."

My eyebrows rose. Edward's attitude towards the wolf made so much more sense now, "Then what happened?"

"I freaked out at first because I thought I had made a mistake, but then it happened again."

"You kissing him?"  
"Yes…" She sipped more of her soda, building up her courage to say what she needed to. "But see, then you and Edward came back, and I was so thrilled to have him back that I sort of left Jake waiting for me. I sent him a letter saying how sorry I was and that I was choosing Edward, and now he refuses to talk to me."

"I guess I don't blame him." _Odd, to be siding with my mortal enemy._

"We had to meet with Sam, the alpha," _if Bella only knew he wasn't the real alpha…_ "To go over the revised treaty agreement, since we've moved back. Anyways, the whole pack was there except for Jacob. They were actually upset that he wasn't as involved with his responsibilities as usual. I was curious. That feisty one, Paul, got quite upset about out get together. Anyways, one of them started thinking about Jake and everyone got very silent when your name came up in conversation. Then Edward was upset by something the rest of us couldn't hear, and Sam was scolding the guys for being rude."

Bella looked deep in thought. "When was this?"

"Two nights ago. You were up studying for your finals and Edward thought that would be the best time to meet up at the border."

"Oh, he didn't tell me."

I paused. She looked upset. Our private affairs weren't kept from her intentionally, but Edward did have a protective streak. He didn't want to worry her too much. Also, thinking back to the silent exchange between Edward and the wolves, and how much it angered Edward, it wasn't likely he would talk about it; especially if what they were talking about had to do with Jacob and Bella kissing. I imagine he would keep that to himself, preferring to suffer in silence.

Finally Bella spoke up. "I imagine Jake didn't show up at the meeting because he's trying hard to avoid me. I don't blame him. He deserves an apology."

---

Once I had dropped Bella off at her house, garment bag in hand, I took off for home. I sped the rest of the way, seeing as that I didn't have to worry about Bella's hesitation against speed.

I found my way inside, putting my brand new dress in my closet along with the other contenders for tomorrow's graduation ceremony.

"You're home early." A sexy southern baritone whispered behind me.

"Jazz." I smiled, turning around to face him, meeting his lips with a kiss. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby girl. Did you have fun with Bella?"

"Yes! I love a girl's day out. I'm so glad we're back here. I was lonely without her company all those months."

He turned his eyes down in shame. We tried not to bring up the memory of his attempt to attack her on her birthday. He was still embarrassed that he had lost control for a moment and nearly killed Edward's true love.

I delicately ran my hand through his hair and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I need to find Edward, is he home?"

"He was on his way to visit Bella, but he should be in his room."  
I pulled away from his welcoming arms, accepting one more kiss, and making my way down to Edward's room.

Sure enough, he was in there, playing one of his many classical music CDs. When Bella was in the house he played music she liked, keeping her disks around his room. His room had what I called organized clutter, books and papers all being piled together on surfaces without ever losing anything.

"I'm back." I joked, announcing my entrance to the room.

"Alice, I could hear you coming from outside. There's truly no need to tell me when you enter."

"Yes, but its much more fun to do it my way." I walked farther in to find Edward with three suits hanging in front of him. "Trying on suits?"

He nodded in the mirror. The dark grey suit he had on did not flatter him at all. I stepped in, pulling the vest and tie from the second hanger. "Put this on. Skip the jacket, wear the button down, vest and tie. You can keep those pants on but change the shoes."

He laughed at me. "How is it that you manage to style everyone in this household, without them ever asking for your help?"

"It's a gift." I smiled. "Actually, today, Bella managed to pick out the most spectacular dress without any help from me. You're going to love it on her."

"I love everything Bella wears."

"I know, but she hardly wears dresses."

He smiled into the mirror, staring at me. "What do you need to ask me, Alice? I can hear your thoughts going around and around in your head. Spit it out."

"What was it that bothered you so much at the treaty meeting day before last?"

His mouth pressed into a hard line as we made eye contact. "What brought that up?"

"I was talking to Bella today…about Jacob Black. She told me some interesting information and I was…."

"Yes, I know about her and Jacob. I also know that as we speak, you cannot clearly see her future."

I could see his features starting to soften, becoming sadder as he picked through my mind, reading all the hints in my conversation with Bella. It was killing him to have to think about her having moved on in his absence.

"I'm worried Alice. What if she doesn't want this life anymore?" I had never seen my brother show this kind of vulnerability before. "I should never have left her. Now she thinks that I don't love her as much, when it simply isn't true. I don't want her to think that she doesn't have a choice. I want her to be happy, even if it means that she needs to be with Jacob…"

**Bella POV**

I made it home with enough time to cook Charlie dinner. He was sitting in his usual spot in the worn down recliner, beer in hand, when I walked in.

"Hey Bells."

"Hey dad. Did you have fun with Billy today?"

"I always enjoy my day off, but it was a slow day for fishing. Billy and I had

fun though." He nodded, eyes glued to the television screen.

I quickly sprinted up to my room, careful not to hit the third stair from the top—the one that had a loose nail and pulls up the carpet—that always causes me to trip. I hung up the dress in the closet and dumped my shoes by my bed, changing into a big t-shirt and running shorts.

I got to work making beef stroganoff while Charlie continued studying the television. They all looked the same to me. Football, baseball, a game with players, each with a ball being thrown and caught somewhere else.

When we sat down to dinner I asked about Billy and not Jake. It was customary now, that we don't talk about him. Jake avoided the house when Charlie was around so that he would have nothing to report back to me. I in turn didn't ask, not wanting to be let down again with no new information about my ex-best friend's whereabouts—even though I was dying to know what he was up to without me.

Charlie cleared the dishes before I got a chance, clearing his throat and standing to the side of my chair.

"Bells, your mom and I got you a little something for graduation." Charlie said walking to the hall closet where he pulling out a purple wrapped box. "I know you don't like gifts, but wait until I show you before you start complaining."

"Dad, you really didn't need to get me anything." I sighed. It was foolish for Charlie to be spending his hard earned money on gifts for my meaningless high school graduation. It wasn't like I was going to college or anything next year.

"I said no complaining, remember? Besides, you only graduate high school once. Your mom and I thought you deserved something for all the hard work you put into school. You never let yourself get off track."

He placed the box in front of me and waited expectantly for me to open it. I carefully peeled back a corner of the wrapping paper. Inside was a box with a lot of numerical writing on it. A laptop.

My jaw almost dropped with shock. They had spent too much money this time. A camera was reasonable, but a computer was ridiculous given the circumstances. Even with my mother paying for half, Charlie would have had to spend two weeks salary on this.

"Dad, this is amazing, but I can't accept it."

"Now, now Bells. You're an amazing writer and you're going to need this for all those college essays you'll be writing."

I rose from my seat to hug him, more tightly than I had planned. We never got these personal moments to talk. Charlie has always been a man of reserve, never getting too mushy or hugging too long. I needed to break that side of him down tonight.

"I love you dad. Thank you so much."

I clutched the box to my chest and got up from the dining room table. He mimicked my motions, then taking his jacket from the hook by the door.

"You going somewhere?" I asked. It was almost nine.

"I'm needed down at the station. I have to do a quick favor for an old friend and then I'll be back." He started for the door, peeking out the front window. "Tell Edward I want him out by eleven." He spoke over his shoulder.

He left the door open as he moved through it and Edward glided into the house after him. "Thanks dad." I called after him.

Edward moved fluidly towards me and wrapped me up in a cool hug, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. "Hello, love."

"Edward, look at what my parents got me?"

"See, I am not the only one who broke your 'no gifts' policy." He smirked.

"Sure, sure. I was about to head upstairs and try this out, are you joining me?"

"Only if you want me to."

"I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't want you to follow me." Sometimes his manners peeved me. He was always so polite, yet all I needed was a simple yes or no.

I didn't wait for him to respond, but instead started up the stairs. Once inside my room I sat down on my bed and attempted to break the safety seal on the box. Edward appeared above me and flicked the meaningless plastic adhesive with one swift movement.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He graciously replied, finding his way to the other side of the bed and sitting down. He looked rather sullen. _A sullen Cullen. _

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked cautiously, not looking in his dark eyes.

"I think we should talk."

Those were the last words I ever wanted to hear from him. I thought that we were done with all of the hurtful talks and explaining. I didn't want to listen to him talk about his decision to leave me, or his choice to go to the Volturi without considering what that might do to me. I wasn't good at serious conversation and yet here he was starting out with that.

"I know about you and Jacob, and I'm not upset about any of it. I understand why you did what you did. I left you and I am so sorry. Its understandable that you found someone to love you when you thought that I didn't."

"Edward, I-"

"Please, Bella let me finish. There are things that I need to get off of my chest."

"Alright." I sighed, settling into my pillow and letting him talk.

"I talked to Alice today, but she wasn't the one who told me about the kiss. I overheard when we visited the pack. They had nothing but good things to say about you, and only awful things to say about me. I understand where they are coming from, trying to defend Jacob's honor even though he was not present at the time." He paused, shifting on the bed. "It seems as though Jacob remains hurt by my return, or more importantly, your taking me back though I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"I forgave you Edward. It's understandable why you did what you did. And Jake knew that whole time that I was in love with you. When I kissed him, it was a mistake…"

"Was is? It means more than you realize. I understand that he was a huge part of your life while I was away and that's unchangeable. I am glad that he was there for you when I wasn't. There are so many things in my life that I wish I could take back, leaving you being one of them. The future has been changed, both yours and ours. When I left, I set in motion a secondary life for you, one without the complications of being immortal, a human life with enormous potential."

"Edward, what are you saying?" That crazy feeling that he was gearing me up for another break up loomed in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm saying that you were happy with Jacob. Correct?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"It's obvious that things have changed between us, and I don't blame any of that on you. Its all my fault that we must have this conversation now,"

I hated that he was taking all the blame in this situation, when it wasn't really his fault. I had kissed Jacob when I promised that I loved Edward. I should be the one feeling guilty, since I found way too much enjoyment in kissing Jacob. If I was being honest, I thought about him more than I thought of Edward, but I suppose that happens when you're away from someone long enough.

He continued, "I want you to be happy and it kills me to think that you might be staying with me because you feel debted or promised. You don't owe me anything and I don't want to hold you back. Bella, I want you to have a happy life and if that means you need a life without me, then I will not deny you that. You may have a little or as much of me as you would like. I won't leave by my foolish choice again. Our future together is dependent on how you feel Bella. I will always love you and simply want the best for you."

He was staring intently at me. I didn't have words to reply to him, my tongue was twisted and I was at a loss. He wanted me to listen to my heart and not what I felt I had to do.

"Don't answer tonight, think about what I've said. I didn't mean to stress you out with graduation tomorrow, I just felt that it was appropriate given the changing of the time and all."

"I understand Edward. Thank you." I moved closer to him so that I would wrap my arms around him in a hug. "I love you very much and I appreciate how considerate you are being with all of this."

How was is possible that he could interpret what was going on in my mind without me saying a word? Were my actions that obvious? What else had the pack accidentally slipped to him? Was Alice's input incorporated into this conversation?

"Will you stay here with me tonight?" I asked, almost whispering. It was early yet all of the sudden, I was tired and mentally drained.

"Of course." He obliged.

"Then please excuse me for a minute." I led myself to the bathroom and completed my nightly routine, washing my face, brushing my teeth, and moisturizing. When I entered my room, my laptop was unwrapped and turned on, Edward sitting at the keys. "Thank you for doing that. I am sure I would have had to read the manual just to turn it on."

He nodded. I moved towards the bed, picking up the laptop and placing it on my desk next to the ancient computer that had been in this room for longer than I could remember. I would almost be sad to see it go. Once it was closed, I turned off the lights and shuffled under the covers, close to Edward.

He closed his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I never got around to asking you, how was your last day of high school?"

"Slow. It was like most other days, just shorter."

"Are you going to miss it?"

"Not P.E. that's for sure."  
He laughed softly. "How about friends?"

"Yes, I will miss them. It doesn't really feel like the end though. I know it will hit me tomorrow when we all say goodbye to each other for real. I'm not good at saying goodbye."

"Neither am I." He commented. I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. Edward went to work stroking my hair gently and humming my lullaby. Before long, I was dreaming of wolves, sunsets, and my best friend Jacob—how he was the best of both of those things.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the long wait. Its been crazy around here. I hope this chapter is ok. I have another one in the works for all of the 'Team Jacob's out there. Dont give up on this story, its a work in progress and I promise there will be a happy ending for JxB lovers. Look for notices about my tumbler site that will have all the media for this story. I'm trying my hardest to get all that set up. If anyone has photoshop abilities I am in need of a techie to help with the site. Also anyone with unique ideas for plot lines send me a message so we can work something out together. I write this for you, so I would love your input. Love you all. Stay tuned.

Also, if you're looking for the lemons that I haven't included YET you should definitely check out 'Never Too Late' by spiritmccinnamon. Its fantastic and juicy. It's my favorite, so read and let her know how much you love it too (I'm positive that you will) plus her chapters are really long and descriptive.

3 bearhuggemm


	23. Chapter 23: Haunting Little Dreams

**Bella POV**

The sun was shining especially bright in my eyes. I was sitting outside, waiting for Charlie to come home, when Edward surprised me. He showed up looking quite handsome in a suit, rather old-fashioned and regal. He came up to me on the porch, where I was lounging on patio furniture. I realized at once that I wasn't waiting for Charlie anymore, I was waiting for Edward. I stood to greet him, bringing my mouth to his in a kiss that was passionate and warm. Bringing my hand up to stroke his cheek and that was when I saw it. A sparkling diamond ring adorned my left hand. It was large and styled from the late eighteen hundreds, if I had to take a guess. As I came farther into the light I could see that both his skin and mine was sparkling.

I would have been shocked, had I been able to move. I felt as though I was on the outside, watching my body make movements and decisions, without putting any conscious effort into them. I was completely disconnected from my body, watching my life happen around me.

Edward continued inside, but I did not follow him. The rest of the Cullens were not visible from where I was so I assumed they didn't live with us? I was already confused as to what was going on but I decided to go along with it.

There was a startling rumble as a black motorcycle made its way up the tree-lined path to where I was standing in the sun. A familiar face was unveiled when the mystery rider removed his helmet. Jacob. He looked worn out, yet as soon as he saw me his face lit up. I couldn't help but smile. I was in my body again. I rushed out to meet him, no longer caring that I was supposedly married to Edward.

He dismounted his bike and pulled me into the familiar bone-crushing hug that reminded me of home. His embrace was smoldering, yet soothing. He didn't wait to kiss me, pushing his body into mine and ravaging me with his powerful kisses.

When he pulled away, he grabbed my hand, the left one, and pulled me to the bike. He put his helmet onto my head and motioned for me to climb on behind him. I did so eagerly. Putting my hand on his shoulder to lift myself up, I found yet another diamond ring on my left hand. This one had a smaller diamond and pearls on an intricate band.

We sped away, going through trees and down a familiar stretch of road that wound around the beach. I knew where we were. La Push. We went a ways further to a house with a bunch of people outside. It looked like a barbeque, full of friends and family. Charlie was there with Billy, most of the pack, and the significant others of each. I felt comfortable at once.

When we got off the bike, Jacob and I linked hands and walked towards the crowd. We were greeted with smiles and hugs. Then two squeals broke through the warm welcomes. Two black haired children rushed at me and Jacob, arms spread, with huge grins on their faces. The boy resembled Charlie, with his chin and the girl looked like a smaller and more feminine Jacob. Her eyes and kind grin matched his exactly. When they got to me I pulled both of them up into my arms and showered them with kisses. Jacob took the girl from my arms and swung her around. I held the boy close to my chest as he held on tight.

I understood now; these were _Jacob's_ children and these were _my_ children. These were _our_ children.

I put the boy down and he ran off with the girl. Jacob turned to me once more and pulled me close to him. His hand slid down my side to embrace my rounded belly.

I woke with a start, feeling my belly out of instinct. It was flat and sweaty. My room was dark and the rest of the house was silent. My alarm clock alerted me that it was only ten minutes past six in the morning. I attempted to get comfortable once more, but rolled over onto a note. No doubt Edward had left this, since the last thing I remember was him lying next to me.

Bella,

I've gone hunting with my brothers. Charlie left early, checking in on you once, before he took the early shift in order to make it to your graduation on time. I thought it would be best to warn you that he has a surprise for you—trust me, you'll like it. Please don't stress about graduation, everything will be perfect. Smile, you're almost done.

Always love, Edward.

P.S. don't be surprised if Alice drops in, I'm sure she'll want to play dress up.

I folded the note and placed it in the top drawer of my bedside table. Something about that note felt as if he wrote it from a distance. As if I had made some form of a choice in the time I was sleeping but didn't know. It felt as though he was making this choice for me.

There was no way I was going to fall back to sleep without medication, but there were too many things to do today that would be disastrous if I was late; Graduation, for example.

I hoisted myself from the bed and shuffled to the bathroom. It was dark everywhere, not helping my clumsiness one bit, but I found the door and was able to start the shower. I rinsed my hair out five times and scrubbed my body trying to kill some time. It was useless, because by the time I got out, it was only seven.

When I looked for my worn out copy of Wuthering Heights it was nowhere to be found. I didn't even know what type of television shows were popular and wasn't up for learning the rules of football. Without Edward or Jake, this early in the morning, I had nothing to do. I suppose I could just call Alice, but I had spent all yesterday with her and needed a break.

I made coffee and sat at the table. Charlie has a surprise for you… what did that mean. I would surely die if he got me another gift. I hoped he wasn't going to have a party or anything of that nature. It would be embarrassing enough to have to walk on stage in front of the whole town at graduation, throwing in a bunch of people jumping out to yell surprise would be the icing on the cake I didn't ask for.

Why was it that everything stressful had to happen around the most important time for me? The huge fight with Jake, graduation, my freaky dreams, and then Edwards little talk. I needed to talk to someone desperately, but there was no one I could confide in, that didn't affiliate with one party or the other. I needed my mother. Was it too early to call her? With the three hour time difference it had to be past ten already.

I picked up the phone to dial Renee and Phil's home phone number in Jacksonville. It rung and rung before my mother's comical voice came up on the answering machine. Were they not home?

Frustrated, I slammed the phone back on its receiver and grabbed my keys. I made my way to the truck and started the engine. I was heading to La Push before I made the conscious decision to. I wasn't going to bother checking Jake's house. He was most likely asleep and wouldn't speak to me anyways. I could go to the beach and work out my problems by myself, like I should.

I hadn't even grabbed shoes, how dumb of me, but it didn't matter. When I parked at the beach, I made my way to the spot where Jake and I would travel routinely, the driftwood log.

The dream shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, it was just a dream after all. But, the more that I thought about it, the more I wanted to continue it. I wanted to know what happened next. Where did Edward go? Why did I have two separate rings, two separate lives in the same dream almost back to back? Was the dream supposed to get me thinking, or predict my future because either way it was unclear.

I was over analyzing, giving myself a headache trying to decipher every detail. All I really should have been factoring in was, at what point was I the happiest. For the whole Edward part of the dream, I was out of my body, making decisions without having input. I was mechanically moving. Also, I was a vampire, married to Edward. Was that what I wanted? I know at some point that had been Plan A, but now I had not certainty about if I wanted that or not. Sure, I would get to spend eternity with Edward, but could I live for eternity without the people who are most precious to me? How on earth was I supposed to say goodbye to Charlie? Renee and Phil? Jacob? He would be the hardest by far. For him it wouldn't be a lie. He would know what I really was when I stopped visiting because the thirst was too much.

But what if I stayed here and decided to slowly let Edward go (slowly because I don't thin I could handle losing him so suddenly again). The times I had spent with Jake were comfortable and warm. I felt at home when I was in his arms—that was a feeling I had found nowhere else. He could make me happy, seeing as that he already had in the before Edward came back.

I lowered myself from the log and burrowed in the sand. Still clad in running shorts and a big t-shirt, I was slightly cold from the breeze; it was early and June was chilly in Washington. I watched the waves break against the smooth shoreline. Some surfers passed by, one with a sandy dog trailing behind him. Its tongue was lolling out on one side in a goofy expression. I instantly thought of Jacob as a wolf.

_Stupid. STUPID. Stupid._

_I can't believe how bitchy I was. A phone call and a letter? Who does that? Edward catches the first plane back and I just run into his arms. Honestly, how stupid is that? I was practically begging Jake to take me to the bedroom minutes earlier and then I go and break his heart. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?_

_No wonder Edward left. I can't make up my damn mind. Who do I really want?_

**Jacob POV**

The damp earth felt nice under my paws as I sprinted forward. I was nearly home when I heard a familiar squeal. Stopping immediately, I turned in the direction of the sound and took off towards it. I could recognize the area as being close to Forks, but mainly the outskirts of the forest.

I smelled that sickly sweet vampire perfume that made my nose wrinkle in distaste. I only moved faster, pushing harder against the ground to propel myself faster. I needed this kill more now than ever. I was dying to sink my teeth into a vamp. It has been way too long. I was praying it wasn't a stupid Cullen so that I wouldn't have to hold back; then again, it wouldn't be so bad to accidental take a chunk or two, just for good measure.

I could hear screaming, from one individual. It was my duty to protect my people and already I was failing. I couldn't find an opening to this stupid meadow. It seemed to be blocked off on most sides by a thick wall of trees and moss.

Finally, I broke through and found a girl lying in a pool of blood. She looked familiar, too familiar. Her hair was the same chestnut brown, partially curling, falling just below her shoulders. It was shady in the meadow as I approached, staying phased to protect myself.

'Jake' the girl called out, 'Jake I need your help!'

It was Bella. I would know that voice anywhere. She lay on the ground, writhing in pain, as I got closer. I phased at once, thinking on my feet. She must have gotten attacked; Victoria must have been here. She was conscious and I wasn't too late.

I knelt down to gather her in my arms. The blood surrounding her wasn't coming from her body, it just seemed to be pooling around her.

'Bells?' I asked, turning her face towards me. She kept her eyes closed, as the corners of her mouth started to turn up slowly. She was laughing at me. The high pitched cackling sound hurt my ears as she laughed and laughed. 'What's going on Bells? Are you hurt?' yet she continued to laugh.

Finally she opened her eyes. They were blood red. I was too late. She had been turned. She smiled and before I had time to react she sprung forward to sink her teeth into my neck.

I jolted upward.

"What the fuck?" I grumbled. This was the fourth of those kinds of Bella induced nightmares I had had in the past week. There were getting progressively worse each time, this last time where she actually bit me. The one before, she had married the leech; and in a previous one, she running around the reservation before the pack attacked and killed her.

It was becoming very apparent that I wasn't going to get much sleep as long as I fell asleep thinking about Bella. Stupid Billy and Charlie had been talking about the surprise that was arranged for Bella's high school graduation. Rachel had a great time catching up with Charlie, while I sat there and tried to listen to the TV over their obnoxious voices.

I knew I was being a jerk by storming about the house and ignoring Charlie. I didn't want to take all my anger out on him, it really wasn't fair. But, whom could I take it out on? I really wanted to just go up to that damn Edward Cullen and give him a piece of my mind, but I thought better of it. Bella would hate it if I killed her boyfriend out of jealously. Yes, jealously. I will admit to being jealous beyond belief. It just isn't fair that he gets to have Bella after she and I had made so much progress.

I wanted to congratulate Bella on graduating. I wanted to be in the crowd when she got her diploma. If I'm being really honest, I wanted to meet her at the bottom of the stairs and be the first one of the night to hug her. We all know that isn't going to happen.

I swung off the side of the bed, not bothering to change; I made my way to the kitchen. When I turned the corner, Rachel had her back to me. She looked overly funny, in a little running outfit and headphones in. She was jogging in place to the loud beat of the rap song playing through the ear buds.

I cleared my throat loudly and she whipped around with an embarrassed smirk on her face.

"I'm going running. Would you care to join me?" She asked, turning down the music so that she could hear my reply. Running alongside my sister this early in the morning sounded frustrating, but there was no chance in hell I could sleep in now.

"Alright. I'll put on some clothes."

"Please do." She laughed sarcastically.

Five minutes later we were out the door. She was leading and I was following her direction. I didn't want to look like a show off by running too fast, so I let her determine the speed. She took off into the woods around the house, skipping the nature trails and leaping over rocks and fallen branches until the forest floor was smooth.

"Why were you up so early?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"When I moved out, dad switched my mattress with his. The one in my room is awful. Why are you up? Did I wake you?"

"Bad dreams."

"Awe, little Jakie had a nightmare?" She mocked, running backwards to face me.

"Har har. No. It just spooked me and I couldn't fall back to sleep." I stuck my tongue out at her like a four year old and she did the same.

"What was it about?"

"You honestly want to know. It's a bit twisted."

"I'm a big girl, Jake. I can handle it."

"Well, I was on patrol and I found Bella in blood. I guess I was too late because she had been turned. She tried to bit me."

She blinked a couple times and turned back around. We ran next to each other at a steady pace. "You're right about the morbid thing. But I suppose it makes sense. With all the stuff that's been happening lately, it only makes sense that you would dream about her."

"But with her trying to kill me?"

"Well, in the dream she has the power over you and she is able to bite you. It reflects the insecurities you have about your relationship. You're unable to stop her from making the wrong decision and it kills you…literally."

_Deep._

"Don't look at me like I am a weirdo. I took a psych class at Dub." She explained.

My eyebrows scrunched. "I don't get it."

"No one understands their dreams."

"No, I meant that I don't understand how someone as smart and beautiful as you…"

"Its genetic." She interrupted me, pausing to pinch my cheeks.

"…how someone like you could imprint on Paul. I mean its _Paul_ we're talking about. Major player, total jack ass."

"He's different around me. Sure, back in high school he was an ass, but now, he's sort of sweet. Of course he has flaws, but there is something about him that is so appealing." She looked off into the distance dreamily.

"Like what?"

"I can't explain it. He's charming and can make me laugh and I feel good when I am with him."

I shook my head. Not only did I hate the idea of destiny picking out your soul mate, but I gagged in thinking that the universe picked my sister and Paul to be paired together. Of all the eligible bachelors in the world, Paul had to be the one who imprints on her. _Great._ I guess it better than her picking someone who has nothing in common with her. At least this way, I know where he lives. He can never leave or cheat on her as an imprint.

"Anyways," Rachel broke my train of thought; "you can't tell me that you've never dated anyone horrible for you. What about that little blonde girl, with the father in the Coast Guard? She was a brat. Not to mention, she used to steal my makeup. Oooh, what about that girl from your seventh grade class who convinced you to wear a polo shirt everyday. She was a real keeper!" She teased enthusiastically.

"I get it. But those were just crushes. Paul is your imprint. Imprints are forever."

"So is love."

"Do you love him?"  
"Do you love Bella?"

_Touché_.

We came out to the clearing of the trees, to find the rocks that lead down to the beach. We stopped running and carefully descended the sharp precipice.

"I know you do, Jake. Don't even deny it."

"I'm not."

"Good." She said, jumping from the last rock into the soft sand below. I followed suit and we continued down the beach. "Tell me about her."

"Drop it Rach."

"No. What's the best thing about her? And don't say something like 'her ass' in an attempt to sound masculine, cause everyone knows you're a big softy."

I already knew the answer. It was easy. "Her eyes."

"Why?"  
"What's with the twenty questions today, Rach? You've never been curious before."  
"I am now, just tell me, please." She managed to use that puppy dog eyes look that always got me into trouble when we were younger and she needed me to do something for her. "Alright, um, she gives away everything she is feeling when she looks at you. It's a sure way to tell if she is lying or not. And when she's thinking really hard about something, you can see every emotion flickering through her eyes."

Rachel stopped and smiled at me. "You need to do something about her."

"What do you mean?"

"Either get her back or find someone else. You're mopey broken heartedness is driving everyone crazy."

_You don't need to tell me, I already know. I would if I could, alright? It's not that easy._

"Whatever."

"Not whatever, Jake. I want you to be happy and you're so obviously not over her. If she makes you this happy, you need to make sure she's knows that."

"She picked him over me. That's not my problem." If Bella wanted to be all lovey-dovey with a bloodsucking leech then that was her business. I had done my part trying to convince her to move on from him and be honest about her feelings of me. I wasn't an idiot, she made me happy and I loved being around her, but if she didn't reciprocate those feelings then I wasn't going to bother.

"Boys are so stupid." She mumbled under her breath.

"What did you say?" I bellowed, trying to intimidate her.

"Nothing." She smirked. "Besides, what are you going to do about it?"

I ran at her, grabbing her above the knees and threw her over my shoulder caveman style. "Jake!" she squealed as I spun her around and around. "I am going to puke all over your shorts! Put me down!" She banged on my back with her closed fists as I ran with her towards the water. "DON'T!" she yelled as the water rose around my ankles and up my calves.

I reached to grab her so that I could fling her into the water but she kicked me square in my groin.

_Bloody fucking hell! Ouch._

I almost doubled over. She had quite the kick. She landed softly on her feet in the half-foot deep water and stood there with a satisfied look on her face. "That's what you get."

"Damnit, you could do some real damage with that kick of yours." I steadied myself, gripping my knees before I rose to meet her eyes. "I need that, Rach. You didn't have to kick so hard."

"You'll need them eventually. Its not like you're using it now."

I started at her again and she sprinted out of the water yelling apologies. I followed her out of the water patting my lower half.

_Hang in there bud. _

The wind was blowing and I caught a familiar scent. Bella.

When I looked out into the distance, I could see her, sitting on our log with her arms wrapped around herself. I wanted to go over, but the other half of me said to run away fast. Still, by body was being physically drawn to her and so I moved. Rachel followed after me, naturally curious as to why I was stalking a random girl on the beach.

"Who's the girl?" Rachel asked once she realized where I was headed.

"Who do you think?"

I moved forward until Bella realized what I was doing and started looking uneasy. When I finally reached her, she looked up with sad eyes. "Hi Jake." She was hesitant to speak and her heart was beating exceptionally fast. Mine was too. All of those times I was confident and cocky around her seemed irrelevant now. I was still the little boy from the rez who fell in a big way for Charlie's cute daughter. She would always have an effect on me, whether or not I was mad at her. I couldn't hide the fact that she was driving me crazy. Each component of her was drawing me in, her hair, her scent, the casual way she alternated leaning on her feet. I was itching to hug her and dying to kiss her. Still, I remained passive. "What are you doing here?"

"I was up early and needed to think about some things. It's a big day and I was feeling sentimental in wanting to come here to find the answers I needed." She motioned to the driftwood log she was sitting at moments earlier. "I was always able to think better here than anywhere else."  
"Hey, you're Bella Swan right?" Rachel's perky voice asked next to me. Bella squinted and cocked her head to the side. I assume she was trying to figure out why Rachel seemed so familiar.

"Yes…"

"You might not remember, but I'm Rachel, Jake's sister—the better half of the twins."

Bella laughed that adorable giggle of hers. "I remember now. Sorry I didn't see it before. I should have known. I spent every summer here, plus you and Jake look so much alike." She smiled up at me, blushed and looked at Rachel again.

"Oh god I hope not." Rachel looked at me with mock disgust. "Anyways, I would recognize you anywhere. You've been the topic of discussion a lot over the past week."

I elbowed my sister in the ribs when I saw Bella drop her head.

"Um, I have to get going. It's a big day today and I'm sure I'll be late for this 'surprise' Charlie has for me. So, uh, I guess I'll see you around." She turned to walk away, keeping her eyes low to the ground. I just stood there watching her go, again.

"Good luck today." Rachel called out.

"Thanks." Bella waved, nearly tripping when she attempted to turn around mid-step.

Once Bella was in her truck and pulling away, Rachel hit me hard in the arm.

"What was that for?" I asked, turning to her.

"You had a million openings to say something to her and you just stood there like a big fat tree. Its no surprise that things aren't getting better between the two of you."

She was right and I was being immature. I would tell her how I felt and she could decide once and for all.

"Race you back to the house?"

* * *

A/N: Yes, I realize it is somewhat of a filler chapter and I am sorry for that but there is another chapter being written as you read this. Hopefully it will be up before I am forced to end my vacation... I always love to hear from you so please comment or send me a personal message. Love you all.


	24. Chapter 24: Grad Night

**Bella POV**

_Well, that was weird._

I couldn't even remember the last time I saw Rachel. Was it at Christmas? I was barely there, being depressed and all. Wow, she really did look like Jake. They had the same deep brown eyes and toothy grin. Not only did she share the best attributes of Jake, but she also looked so much like her mother Sarah.

She was nicer than I remembered her being. Maybe it was Rebecca I was thinking of. Rebecca had been the one to alienate me when we were younger. Rachel always seemed more like Jake—or Jake was like Rachel—in that she always included me.

I was somewhat in a daze the whole drive back home. I was not anticipating seeing Jake at the beach, but wasn't upset that I had. I always enjoyed seeing him, each time being pleasant, except for our last encounter when he threw me out. I did deserve it, I just wished we could have worked it out maturely instead of me crying and him practically fuming. This time, he just stood there and stared at me like a space alien. It had been only a week since I had last seen him, what could have changed so much since then that would cause him to stare? Though, thinking back, I was staring too. How could I not? He was not wearing a shirt, dripping in sweat, with his muscles flexing and generally in a good mood. He was practically begging for me to ogle him.

But, he didn't say a word except for muttering my name. That was so un-Jake; he always had something to say about something. There were so many things that I wanted to say to him. He was the focus of my bizarre (yet exciting and intriguing) dream, causing me to knees to buckle when I saw him. As the father of my children, in my dream, my response to him was more intense. I couldn't look at him for more than a few seconds at a time and I could feel the hairs on my air standing up on my arms. I was even more attracted to him than before, and I'm pretty sure my love for him went up by 300 percent. _That_ was how much this dream shook me.

Safe to say, that this dream and chance encounter made up my mind for me. I would tell Edward tonight that I really couldn't live without Jake.

***

I got home around ten in the morning, having killed a lot of time at the beach; more so than I thought was possible. I lose all track of time when I am alone with my thoughts.

Firstly, I made my way up the stairs to my room so that I could change. I had sand in my shorts and shoes. I didn't bother showering again, just shaking out all the visible sand I could get. It was as good a day as any to do some cleaning so I took out the vacuum cleaner and bucket of chemicals from the hall closet and got to work.

I did the laundry, mopped the kitchen floor, vacuumed my room, the living room, and made my bed. About an hour into my cleaning, the doorbell rang. I turned down the music on the radio, expecting Alice or maybe Edward to be popping in for a visit.

"I'll be right there," I yelled from the kitchen, turning my yellow gloves inside out and running to the door.

When I swung it open, I was not prepared to see my mother and Phil standing outside with huge smiles on their faces.

"Mom! What are you doing here?" I asked, pushing myself forward to hug her tightly. "I thought I was going to come and visit you next week."

"Charlie called us and we decided to fly out and surprise you for your graduation. Did you really think I would miss this big of a day?" She asked, hugging me tightly. _So that's what the other surprise was. Good going, Charlie._

"I am so glad to see you. And you too Phil, don't you have spring training?" I asked, moving from my mother to hug him too.

"I took the week off. Your mother was insistent that we spend some time here with you."

"Well, I am glad she convinced you. Please, come in. I was just cleaning up."

"Some things never change, do they?" My mother commented rhetorically, shaking her head in mock annoyance. I led them to the newly vacuumed living room where they sat down on the couch.

"When did you get in? Where are you staying?"  
"The motel downtown. We just got in last night. I wanted to come over and visit with you then, but Charlie insisted that we wait until now to come over. Said you were busy with a boy. Would he be talking about Jacob?"

I hung my head down, "No Edward came over last night. He's back with his family. You'll get to meet them at graduation tonight."  
"I would like that. I would love to see Jacob too. I can't remember the last time I was over at the Blacks. How is everyone?"  
"Good. Rachel is visiting for the summer and Billy is healthy."

"That's terrific. Ooh, darling, have you eaten breakfast yet. We're starved." Renee put her arm on Phil's and smiled at him graciously. He had been quiet this whole time while mom was ranting.

"I'll start some breakfast. I have a couple hours until I need drive over to school, is there anything you want to do?"

"Just spend some time with you, darling." She replied, getting up from the couch to hug me again. "I've missed you Bella. Jacksonville is very quiet without you there."

"I miss you too mom. I'm really glad that you're here."

"Me too."

We ate a brunch type breakfast since it was almost noon and caught up on my life and theirs. Renee filled in all the details about Jacksonville, how hot it was, what the beach was like, the plans for the spare bedroom she was decorating. Phil talked a lot about playing for the Suns and how great his team was. They seemed happy where they were and I was glad. The more I heard about how well their lives were going, I felt less sad about leaving the two of them to be with Charlie. I just hoped that Charlie could find someone to make him happy like Phil makes my mother.

They asked about me, but I was less than eager to talk about all the horrible things I said to Jacob, or how once again I had ditched my friends for a boy. Instead I talked about the boring things, like school, how well I was doing in classes and that I would be sad to leave it all behind.

When all the plates were cleared, my mom took my hand and led me upstairs so that she could see my dress for graduation. She said her ohs and ahs when I tried it on for her.

"Bella? There is someone at the door for you." I hear Phil call from downstairs. _Again, really?_

I rushed downstairs to meet my third guest of the day, still dressed in the graduation outfit. Phil commented on how nice I looked and I thanked him as I opened the door to find Alice peering at me.

"Don't you look nice." She chirped. "May I come inside? I thought we could get ready together."

"Of course. My mom and step dad are here though."  
"That's perfect. I love parents."

She stepped inside, putting her dress and makeup bag down on the table. "I'm Alice Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you." She held out her dainty, manicured hand to shake Phil's. He took it graciously and shook lightly, afraid to be too rough with someone who looked like they could break in half if you breathed too hard.

"Phil Dwyer. It's a pleasure."

Renee descended the stairs and perked up when she saw that one of my friends had come to visit. She rushed at Alice, throwing her arms around her and hugging her in an overly friendly mother sort of way. "You must me Alice. Bella has told me about you. I'm Renee, Bella's mother."

Alice replied politely. "Yes, I can see the similarities. Bella has told me much about you as well." Once they parted, Alice continued. "I hope I am not interrupting. I came over to get ready with Bella."

"That's no problem at all. I was planning on showing Phil around Forks anyways." She turned to me "I suppose we will see you at graduation then. I'll be in the front with the camera!" she teased and then turned to Alice. "Alice, dear, you must introduce me to your parents tonight. I would be delighted to meet them."  
"I am sure they will want to meet you too."

"We will see you then. You really do look stunning, sweetie." She said kissing my cheek and grabbing my purse. Phil followed after her waving a "good luck" before departing.

As soon as the door was shut, Alice was dragging me up the stairs and laying her stuff out on the bed. "What are you planning on doing with your hair? Do you know what kind of makeup you're going to wear? Or would you prefer to just go natural?"

"Alice, this isn't prom."

"Yes I know." She growled. "But since you refused to go this year, I didn't get to perfect your look then. Therefore, you owe me for tonight Bella."

Alice was unstoppable. It was true that I refused to go to prom. Last year had gone horribly and besides, who needs to go twice? Edward and I stayed in and a watched movie, needless to say Alice was pissed. She didn't talk to me for a day, attempting to punish me for being 'cruel' to her. She loved to play dress up and I was her favorite doll to use.

"Alright, I will appease you tonight, but don't go to go overboard alright? I don't want to look like I am trying too hard."  
"Trust me, Bella. I know what I am doing."  
I watched as she unloaded her makeup bag, which turned out to be that magic carpetbag from Marry Poppins. No matter how much she pulled out, there was always more waiting inside it. She had a range of hair products and irons inside along with cosmetic products from various countries and brands. I couldn't understand how a vampire would need makeup if they looked perfect all the time. There isn't a need for foundation or blush when your skin is already camera ready.

Alice curled my hair, put all these funky products in it so that it would "shine, sparkle, and stay put", according to Alice. I let her try out different makeup styles on me, while I listened to her talk about a range of things. She told me about the last couple of graduations she had before their family had moved to Forks. I was fascinated that she had lived through such interesting times and experienced schooling over multiple decades. It made me think of how precious my time was as a human. I wouldn't get another chance to do this and so I let my uptight insecurities float away for the night.

My completed look took an hour, but Alice had worked a miracle. I twirled in front of the mirror like a little girl, admiring Alice's handiwork.

"You're the best Alice. You should do this professionally. Girls would pay big bucks for this kind of help."

"I have plenty of money, Bella. I do this for fun. I like making people feel good about the way they look."

"Either way, you're fantastic at it." I gave her an extra big hug. "Are you going to get ready here?"  
"No, I am getting a ride over with Edward. We'll meet you at school, ok?"

"Sure." I helped her get everything back into the single bag she brought. "Wait, Alice can I see your dress?"

"Oh, silly me, I completely forgot." She grabbed the garment bag and pulled out a form fitting, gold sequined dress.

"Wow, that's amazing!" And it was. She would wow the crowd that was for sure. The gold suited the paleness of her skin well.

"I need to get going, but I will see you soon. You look fabulous by the way." She smiled, heading from my room and down the stairs.

"Bye Alice, thanks again." I waved and watched her get into the car and speed away.

***

I drove myself to school, taking off the heels Alice insisted that I wear, so that I could drive. When I got to the parking lot, I had to fight Jennifer Chow for a parking spot. It was packed. Apparently, all the parents decided to show up as early as the students, and taking all of the parking spaces.

I followed the crowds into the band room where teachers were passing out graduation caps and gowns. They were a dark navy blue and the caps had the Spartans caricature printed on the top. While waiting in line, I bumped into—literally—Jessica Stanley.

"Bella! Oh my gosh, can you believe it? We're graduating today!"

"I know. It feels like yesterday that I transferred in."  
"I remember that. I was so jealous of you because everyone wanted to be your friend and talk to you. Can you believe that was a year and a half ago? I cant."

I smiled at her. No matter what the circumstances, she would always have an exaggerated perspective on things.

"Oh, I tried calling your house earlier but I guess you were out or something. I was going to see if you had thought about grad night." She paused to give the teacher at the table her name and received a plastic bag with her graduation robe. "It's going to be so much fun. We are having a barbeque and dancing down in La Push and the guys are convinced that they are going to camp out in the sand." We both laughed at the ridiculousness. "Anyways, Angela and I would love you to come. Everyone is going and it'll be a great way to get those last minute yearbook signatures before we all go away for the summer."

"You're right. I think I will go. It can't hurt."

"That's that spirit!"

I got my robes next and we headed off to meet up with Angela and Ben who were busy putting on their caps. Angela was snapping pictures as soon as her hands were free, but put it down so that she could hug me.

"I love your dress, Bella. That's a great color on you." She said, admiring the new dress I had bought.

"Yours too. Pink suits you."  
"Really? I wasn't going to get it, but then I thought that I don't have a whole bunch of pink stuff at home and I need to branch out."

"It was a good choice."

"Thanks."

"So Ang, Bella is going to come to grad night with us." Jessica cheered. She turned to me, "and just so you know, Lauren wont be hanging out with us. I am so done with her. After the beach house weekend she just got worse."

_That would explain why I haven't seen her at the lunch table in a while._

"She thinks that she is the queen of the world because her dad bribed the admissions director at Princeton." Angela added.

"I'll give her a month before she drops out." Jessica sniped.

"Ouch, Jess. That's a little harsh don't you think?"  
"No. She was failing level 1 Spanish. Even I can _hablo español_."

We all laughed. Jessica's Spanish accent was as pretty terrible, put somehow she passed with flying colors.

"Attention students," Ms. Portofino announced, "it is almost three o'clock and you know what that means. Can I have everyone line up according to last name, thank you. We will be heading into the gym soon."

Mike Newton came up behind Jessica and me, throwing his arms around both of our shoulders. "Are you reading for this?" He asked rhetorically.

"Hell yeah." Jessica shouted. All around us there were soft cheers and chants.

"Let's do this!" Erik and Tyler hooted when they got closer to us. I would miss this and these people. Now looking back I would have benefitted from spending more time with them as a group. I spent most of my year and a half here with Edward or in a spiraling depression. I had missed out.

***

I saw Edward from afar once we were seated in the gym. Alice was by his side and they both turned around, from the front row, to wave at me.

The music started playing and the rows collected to the left of the stage, then one by one we ascended the stairs to receive our diplomas. Jessica went up the stairs and got her diploma, pausing for longer than required so that a few extra pictures could be snapped of her.

"Isabella Marie Swan." The principal spoke into the microphone and my heart started beating faster. I took the stairs one at a time, careful not to trip and embarrass myself.

I heard the cheering of my mom and Charlie, plus the enthusiastic clapping of the Cullens and my friends, as I shook hands with the principal. When he handed me my diplomas, I faced the crowd and smiled so my mom could take a picture. I could have sworn there was a very tan and muscular Jacob-shaped guy standing in the very back row, flanked by two others.

I blinked and kept moving as the principal called out another name and I was ushered off of the stage. When everyone had gotten their diplomas, the entire class stood and cheered, throwing their caps into the air. Blue and yellow hats rained down as students hugged one another and the crowd began to disperse in search of parents.

I found my parents easily. Charlie was holding a camcorder and Renee was practically jumping up and down with joy.

"You were so good up there!" She clapped, running forward to meet me in a hug.

"Thanks mom."

I turned towards Phil and hugged him, then moved to my dad. He was smiling at me, yet trying to still look tough in his sheriff's jacket. He looked like a proud parent and I loved him for that. "Hey dad."

"Hey Bells. I can't believe you graduated." He pulled me into his slightly awkward hug and whispered in my ear "I'm more surprised that you managed not to trip." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Me too."

I turned around to talk to my mother when I saw that three other people were standing with my parents. There sat Billy with Rachel and Leah holding flowers. "Congratulations Bella!" Billy smiled handing me the pink roses.

"Thank you so much Billy." I said, bending over to hug him.

I looked to Leah and Rachel, surprised that the two of them would be there. I wasn't sure if Leah was mad at me or not. I hadn't spoken to her since that weekend at the lake house. Along with not speaking to Jake, I had stopped talking to her too. Still, she smiled at me and moved forward to hug me.

"You're not mad at me?"

She shook her head. "I knew you weren't intentionally not talking to me. Don't worry about it, we're cool."

I sighed in relief. It would suck to lose Leah as a friend, especially if I was not going to college right away.

"And thanks for coming too Rachel. I know we haven't really had a chance to catch up."

"That's alright. Leah here has filled me in on all the gossip I missed while off at college." She winked knowingly. I would need to find out what Leah had shared with her. "Anyways, Billy was heading over here and we decided to tag along and say hi."

"Do you two want to come to the beach with me for grad night? There's a barbeque."

"Um, sure. That sounds fun." Rachel answered for the both of them. "Can we catch a ride with you?"

"Yeah. I need to say goodbye to a few people and then we can go."

"Sweet." Leah responded. The two of them flitted off into the crowd.

_Is it possible that Jake was here? I could have sworn I saw him out there. _

"So Bells, you're going to the grad night thing tonight?" My dad asked, shifting the weight to his other foot.

"That sounds fun, sweetie." My mom added.

"Yes. I'll be back early. I doubt they're going to barbeque into the night."

"Well just be careful." Charlie warned.

"I always am." I mocked.

"Well, I was just talking to Billy and I got to thinking that we should all celebrate. It's been so long since we've all been here." Renee started. "We could get all you kids together and have dinner. Maybe tomorrow?"

Billy looked at Charlie then at me. "I'll see what we're doing tomorrow and if that is going to work. Give us a ring."

"Absolutely."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Dwyer, chief, can I borrow Bella for a moment?" Edwards's smooth voice appeared behind me. I turned to find him along with Alice and the whole family there.

"Sure Edward."

Renee introduced herself to his family and they seemed to be getting along well enough when Edward pulled me away from the crowd.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, walking beside him.

"I wanted to know if you thought about what we discussed the other night."

"I have."

"And?"

"And…Edward I am really sorry, but I think I need to explore my other options. I'm not saying that I don't love you, because I do, I've just been having a lot of thoughts lately, not to mention these weird dreams." I shook my head. "You'll always be a huge part of my life, and I don't want you completely gone, but I don't think we should see each other anymore. I care about you and I think you should find someone who can love you whole heartedly."

He looked sad, but relieved slightly. "I understand. I want what is best for the both of us. If you want to be with Jacob, I respect your decision and will support you in that."

I hadn't said that I specifically wanted to be with Jacob over him, yet I was trying to be polite. Even without me saying it, he could tell where my heart was. "I wish you the best of luck in life Bella. My family hasn't decided to leave town just yet, but eventually we will move on. I will always be available if you need me, all you need to do is call."

"Thank you Edward. I appreciate everything you have done for me."

He nodded and started to lead me back to my family. When we were back, he kissed me on the cheek and left. I knew this wouldn't be the last time I would see him, but I was glad that I had finally made the break. It was much needed.

"What was that about?" Charlie grumbled.

"Finally understanding each other." I knew Charlie wouldn't know what I was talking about but he nodded anyways.

Alice and the Cullens gave me big hugs before departing, offering to have me over for dinner to celebrate with them as well. I told Alice that I would be calling her. As a gesture of kindness, the Cullen students had been invited to the grad night party, but being Cullens, they were not allowed on the reservation even to use the beach.

Rachel and Leah had returned while I was off with Edward and they smiled expectantly at me.

"Ready to go?" They asked in unison. I grabbed my keys from my mother, who had been holding them from me, and pulled the girls along with me.

When we got to my truck, I found a note stuck in the windshield wipers. I pulled it out so that I could read the scribbled handwriting, written on the back of a receipt to the gas station.

You looked beautiful out there. Congratulations.

Jacob

I looked to Rachel and Leah for an explanation but they just smiled at each other with knowing smirks. Sighing, I opened the door of the truck and they piled in.

He had come to watch me graduate and it tickled me inside. He still cared.

"Fire it up, Swan." Leah commanded, the three of us piled into the small cab. "We're missing all the fun."  
Leah was only a few months older than me, but a whole grade ahead. She had graduated last year with Jared; Rachel graduated a year before with Sam and Paul.

When we got to the beach, I only saw half of my class there. Several of them were signing yearbooks and snapping pictures. One of the barbeques was heating up and music was playing loudly in the background. It was still too light out to start a fire, so people mingled around a barren fire pit.

The three of us squeezed out and made our way to the beach. When Angela spotted us, she came over and greeted Leah. I introduced her to Rachel and the four of us went to join the rest of the group.

"Wow, Leah, I didn't expect to see you here." Jessica laughed, hugging Leah. " You didn't by any chance bring the boys with you?"

"Nope, just my best friend. This is Rachel, Jacob's sister." Leah said, patting Rachel on the shoulder.

"Yeah I see the resemblance." Jessica cocked her head to the side. "Although I think you are much prettier."

"Well I would hope so." Rachel scoffed.

"I mean Jacob is fine and all, but he lacks the uh…" Jessica continued.

"Boobs?" Angela volunteered.

"Yes. And legs and great hair." Leah cooed, stroking Rachel's mane like a horse, in that best-friend's-can-get-away-with-acting-lesbian kind of way.

"But what he lacks in femininity, he makes up in muscle and charm. Isn't that right Bella?"

I looked up, suddenly aware that all of the eyes were on me. I could feel my cheeks turning red and I knew that Rachel was giving me an expectant look.

"Yes Bella, do tell." She urged. "You're the only one here who could explain in detail the effects of his charm."

"I'd rather not, thanks." I said looking away.

Leah just rolled her eyes and Jessica giggled. "We were kidding. But serious, you would know."

"Sure, sure. Next topic please."  
"How's are things with Edward?" Angela asked politely, trying to make conversation.

Still not what I wanted to talk about, but at least it was better than discussing how sexy Jacob is. Leah and Rachel pretended to be interested in something in the distance as Angela continued to talk. "I noticed that he and Alice aren't here tonight."

"They are doing family stuff tonight. They told me to say hello."

"You didn't answer the question." Jessica nudged.

My voice got quiet as I tried to whisper only to Angela and Jessica. "He and I sort of broke up. It's really not a big deal, but you should know that we aren't together anymore."

Leah's head snapped towards me. I knew I wouldn't be able to escape the wolf hearing.  
"Seriously, when did that happen?" Jessica gasped. Angela looked more worried for _me_ than shocked about the news of our breakup. She would know firsthand what the last breakup did to me.

"About a hour ago. Things have been different since he got back. My feelings for him aren't as strong as they are for…uh, were before he left." I corrected myself. From the corner of my eye I could see Rachel's mouth flit up in a smirk. No doubt she knew what I would have said, had I not altered my answer.

"I didn't see that one coming." Jessica laughed, "Want a hot dog? I'm gonna go get some food." She said, quickly changing the subject.  
"Sure." Three voices all confirmed.

_I guess that conversation is over. Cant say that I am not glad, but Jessica really has the worst transitions._

Angela pulled me along to where James Turner, from my English Lit. class, was barbequing. "How are you holding up?" She asked sweetly.

"I'm fine, honest. It was my decision and I am happy that I did it."

"Ben and I are heading in that same direction."  
"What? Why?"

"We'll both be heading off to different colleges and I doubt I could handle a long-distance relationship."  
"Oh, Ang I'm sorry. Ben is a great guy."

"He is. That's why I'm ok with this. He is going to find someone great for him. And so will I."  
"That's the spirit." I quietly cheered.

"Bella, do you want mustard on your hotdog?" James called out, holding up a bun with a slightly burnt hot dog inside.

"No. I hate mustard."

We sat down around the empty fire pit and when we were all done eating, Mike passed out some sodas. More and more people were showing up, all of them still dressed in their formal clothes from graduation. It seemed as if everyone was smart enough to bring his or her swimsuit too, but no one gave me the memo.

"Who's up for some volleyball?" Jessica asked, standing from her log seat and grabbing the ball next to her. Jessica had been on the volleyball team all four years of high school and played better than anyone I knew.

Other girls from her team stood up, Mike and Tyler joined in, and Angela went to set up the net. The sun was setting, but it was quite warm out. One by one, the players peeled of their outer layers to appear in their bathing suits. Not like I would play volleyball with them, but I suddenly felt left out. Without a suit, I couldn't partake in the midnight swim either. Even Angela had thought to wear her once piece underneath her dress.

"Bella, why don't you come and join us? Ditch the dress and hop in the game." Mike suggested happily, while passing me to get another soda.

"I didn't bring a suit and you know how I am with a volleyball."

"That's too bad. You should ask if anyone has a spare. You're going to miss out on all the fun."

"I'm fine, really. I can just watch you guys."

Rachel and Leah had been keeping to themselves for most of this time, until one of them spoke up.

"You know Bella, I have a couple suits back at my house, if you want to borrow one. I was thinking I would go back and pick one up. You're welcome to any one that fits you." Rachel offered.

"Uh…"  
"Oh come on, where is your sense of fun. You didn't hesitate at the lake house…" Leah reminded me.

_That was very different. I was trying to seduce your pack mate. There is no way in hell I am putting on another bikini just to appease my classmates._

"I think I'll pass."  
"Boooooo." Leah whined, kicking sand at my feet.

"Fine." I grunted.

"Awesome. We'll be here when you get back." Mike called as I followed Rachel and Leah back to the Black's house.

***

It was dark when we got inside. That was a good sign right? That meant I could avoid any awkwardness by Jacob.

Rachel waltzed through the front door without having to unlock it. Leah skipped behind her to the back of the house where Rachel and Rebecca's room was. The inside walls were painted pink and there were several mirrors. The room looked bigger than any in the house (although I had never been inside Billy's room) but it made the most sense to give the biggest room to the twins who shared it.

"Ok, I know they are in here somewhere," Rachel said to herself as she went to work rummaging through drawers, throwing clothes around and disheveling the once nicely folded garments.

"Ah ha! Here they are." She pulled out a plastic bag full of unworn bathing suits that still had the tags on. "I bought these right before I came, thinking I was going to be at the beach a lot, but I still haven't worn most of them. Take your pick, a couple of them are different sizes." She threw the bag to me and I started picking through the different pieces. None of them were one-pieces. _I suppose with Rachel's body, I wouldn't cover it up either._

"Hey Rach, do you have anymore Gatorades?" Leah asked.

"Yeah I think there are some in the garage. I can go get you one. Bella do you want a Gatorade too?"

"No thank you."

"Alright. Try those on and we'll be right back."  
"Ok." I replied, but they were already out the door. I quickly slipped on a white and grey striped one. It was girly, with tied sides and some rhinestones here and there, but it was the only one that didn't drown me around the chest area. Once it was in place I put my underwear and bra into the pocket of my jacket and slipped my dress back on.

Exiting the room, I hear some shuffling in the kitchen. _The girls must be back_. I walked out to meet them, only to be greeted by Quil and Embry sitting at the counter.

"Hello Bella. What a surprise!" Quil joked.

I heard a thud as Jacob raised his head from inside the fridge and banged it against the door, at the sound of my name. Embry waved to me with his mouth full of food. I waved back.

Jake stood up very slowly, rubbing the sore spot on his head where he had hit it. He didn't speak so I thought I would. "Hi." I said softly.

"Hey." He said back, finally looking at me. "What are you doing here?"  
"Rachel let me borrow a bathing suit."

"Oh." He replied, not curious as to why I would need to borrow a bathing suit from his sister.

"What's the suit for?" Embry asked.

"Party on the beach!" Rachel chanted as she entered the front door, Gatorades in hand.

"It's grad night." I added. "You're welcome to come if you'd like."

"Fuck yeah!" Quil barked, high-fiving with Embry. Quil then proceeded to dance like a spaz, doing moves like the 'funky chicken' and 'the sprinkler'. I couldn't help but laugh, everything he did was hilarious.

"It looks like Quil is excited. Embry you down?" Leah asked.

"Sure, why not."  
"Awesome. We're gonna start walking back. You coming Bella?"  
"In a minute." _There are a few things I need to say to Jake._

The four of them exchanged glances while slowly backing up towards the door. It didn't look like Jake was objecting to a civilized talk since he stayed put as everyone left.

When the house was empty, except for the two of us, and I could no longer hear Quil talking down the road, I spoke.

"So you came to my graduation?"

"We were passing through. I knew Billy was going to be there so the guys and I stopped by." He shrugged, trying to come off as cool. It really just made him seem like an ass.

"Thanks for the note. It meant a lot to me." That was the truth. I loved his note. It was sweet, like the Jake I knew, not the one that was being guarded with me now.

"Yeah, no problem. It was the truth. You do look very pretty tonight, Bells."

_He called me Bells!_

"I think everyone is invited to grad night. You don't have to be a senior. It is a public beach after all." I laughed, trying to lighten his mood. It wasn't obviously wasn't working.

"That's probably a bad idea. I have some stuff to catch up on and I might need to patrol." He turned away from me to get a soda from one of the cabinets. It popped as he turned back the tab and took a sip.

"Ok. Never mind then."

Frustrated, I turned around to leave, but thought better of it. "Renee is in town and she wants to do dinner. She and Billy got to talking and now she's planning for all of us to go out." I paused to look him straight in the eye. "Also, I broke up with Edward. After graduation I told him that my feelings for him never fully returned, and that I had fallen for someone else. I thought you would want to know."

With that, I turned away.

"How do I know you mean that? You always run back to him." He sounded vulnerable and I could hear the hurt in his voice. It was going to take a lot to win back his trust. He would have me working for it.

I moved quickly, spinning around and dropping my jacket. I practically threw myself into his arms and linked my arms around his neck. Carefully, I placed my lips on his and kissed him with the emotion I had been saving. I worked slowly, moving my lips against his, until he started to respond. His hands came to my waist and gripped tightly there, pulling me closer as he got more into the kiss. I nibbled on his bottom lip and then the top one, just enough to make him lean forward for more. Before I could get too carried away, I leaned back and broke the kiss.

"I'm not going back to him. Not this time." I said as steadily as I could manage. His hands were still around my waist, his hands delivering warmth through my body.

He dropped his hands as I stepped backwards, reaching down to get my jacket, and continued facing him up until the door.

We didn't break eye contact the entire time. I was telling him that I was sure about leaving Edward and that if I had any less self-control, I would have kissed him all night long. He didn't say anything to stop me from leaving, but it was better this way. We understood each other. Now the next time I saw him, he would be thinking of this kiss.

I left the Black household and speed walked back to the beach where my friends were waiting. They asked why I took so long, Quil and Embry teased me a little bit, but I knew they were all hoping Jake and I had made up. However, since Jake hadn't returned with me, they didn't press for details, but I wouldn't have given them freely. What Jake and I shared was only the beginning of what was to come.


End file.
